End homelessness! Maybe by the end of June! It's literally impossible, but we hear this kind of message a lot. Is this talking point useful? Like, are more folks willing to help reduce homelessness if they somehow believe they're ending it completely?
It's not like that other Hempfest—where people smoke pot. From the mail bag:
Tacoma Hempfest is scheduled June 25 at Wright Park. We are significantly different from Seattle Hempfest as we are a family friendly, free speech event, that emphasizes the ubiquitous nature of cannabis throughout society. As a non-smoking event, we of course choose to deemphasize the “4:20 Toke-fest” label choosing instead last year to make a plea for a moratorium of specious prosecution. This year we will emphasize a peace on the war on drugs moment choosing to be mindful of the cost and collateral damage in the war on drugs.
A sensible plea from a concerned parent, submitted to I, Anonymous:
It is true that I could have used a nicer tone. And I understand that you want to be a good corporate, minimum-wage making schmuck. I get it. You are doing your job, and so I don’t object when you tried to supersize my daughter as she purchased a small coke and popcorn at your theater. We have prepared her for this, and she politely told you no. All is good.
But this is what I don’t get. You then try appealing to me, her parent, in your effort to persuade my daughter that more must mean better. That although the small popcorn and coke already contain more than ½ the calories that she will need for the entire day, she was being foolish for not spending the extra 25 cents to get even more of that greasy popcorn and sugar water you call food. Do you really expect that any semi-sensible parent would support you in that undertaking? That we would want to encourage our children to develop those habits that will inevitably lead them to becoming obese. At least with this, I suspect you won’t make the same mistake twice.
To all the popcorn-scooping and sugar-water dispensing jockeys out there, I am not asking you to be a superhero. I am not asking that you defy the Man or anything so banal. I’m just asking that you consider foregoing the hard sell when the customer is a child. No one will be the wiser and you will have done a small but nonetheless good deed for the day.
So reads the subject of the email from Slog Tipper Tia, who writes, "I'm a long time reader and an infrequent Slog commenter and I never thought I'd have a personal connection to a Slog story. It's terrible. Thank you for raising awareness."
by Jen Graves
on Thu, Mar 31, 2011 at 2:45 PM
Oh, dear—artist talks can go south in a million different ways. SAM member Patricia Churchhill sent this pissed-off email about last night's talk with artist Nick Cave and Cynthia Rowley. She's right that some artists are better off not talking. Cave—my recent podcast here—was neither great nor terrible when I talked to him. It sounds like the uncomfortable presence of money and luxury in art and fashion came up—but not quite up enough.
I knew we were in trouble when the moderator didn’t know how to pronounce Schiaparelli. Confimation came with the inane slide show of celebrities, (exactly what did Liza Minelli have to do with it), which was suppose to substantiate the importance of cross-pollinization between the art and fashion worlds.
Two strikes could possibly have been forgiven as small town Seattle introduces the main event: a discussion between Nick Cave and Cynthia Rowley. One hoped the two of them had some relationship, some history, something to say about each other’s work. Yeah, one could hope. These two people had virtually nothing to say to each other or to us.
The most substantive sense was that they spend their energies trying to market stuff no one needs. How about a sticker book for $34.00. How are those selling??? Or maybe Cynthia Rowley candy????
Finally, the moderator irritated everyone who had paid $10 or more a head and made an effort to get to the museum, (on a night when the galleries where the fabulous Nick Cave exhibit could not be seen — great planning), by saying that, really, we couldn’t hold up Nick and Cynthia because they had to get to the airport. As if they were doing us all a great favor by submitting to our attention.
Sometimes the artist needs to let their work speak for himself and stay out of sight. I had waited to see Nick Cave the night of the REmix party and gave up after twenty minutes in the hot crowded gallery. Maybe he was better solo, but maybe he was even more arrogant. This was an embarrassing non-event for the museum. Next time just have a reception for the donors and leave me out of it.
This just in! Unfortunately, it looks like we're in for five more years of The Sorcery War. Thanks a lot, Obama.
[all sic] New threat comes to Dan Akroyd, from the Skulls and Crossbones sorcery gang out of Yale University: who has reported to being working with Bill Gates of MIcrosoft in these threats of cancers and heart attacks. Reports also teach that Bill Gates and members of their gang, paid Obama 100 million dollars to keep The Sorcery War going until the 2016 presidency for which Bill Gates would like to run for. Dan Akroyd, was threatened do to defending himself from this sorcery gang. This gang, is reported to murdering Micheal Jackson, Elizabeth Taylor, Cory Haim, Manut Bol, Britney Murphy, Leslie Neilson, Tony Curtis, Patrick Swayze and more using sorcery sickness attacks.
Spotlight Media Relations is pleased to announce we are now working with Gene Juarez Salons and Spas.
As a member of the Seattle media, we would like to invite you to come into one of our salon locations —including our popular Downtown, University Village and Bellevue locations - meet our talented staff, and receive a free salon treatment of your choice.
In addition, we hope you’ll keep Gene Juarez Salons in mind anytime you need a beauty expert for an interview, or are interested in doing a beauty or makeover story. For example, Guy Lacey is a great resource on just about any hair or beauty topic.
Hi. Here’s a message for your political people. On April 1, 2011, April Fool’s Day, there is going to be a massive don’t-show-up-for-work day. Nobody is going to work. And we are going to block the streets. We are going to take our cars, we are going to block streets—nothing is going to happen. We are going to block trains; we are going to block everything. Nothing is going to happen. We are going to shut this country down until it realizes that we are the people, you know. Hey, yeah, the people. Yeah. Get ready. April 1. April Fool’s. Day. Ha Ha! My name is Calamity. Calamity. You can call me if you want. [Doesn’t leave phone number.]
Well you goddm no good lousy fucking FAGGOT cocksucker you put my name in your fucking paper and now I get threat. Ok, well see you have just violated a NEW law along with CUKING FUCKING DICK FESES FACE but all is good its all good. I got to make a few phone call but well' see after that dont worry muh nigga its all good NOT!!!!!!!!!
I am new to Seattle and Cap Hill and am wondering- do you faggots have nicknames for your "Gay Mafia" like the real Mafia does? I mean, is there like a "Timmy the Cocksucker" and Freddie the Pedo-Lester? How about AIDS ASs Bobby or Gaping Rectum Ronny??
Listen to me you fuck- when I talked to my real estate agent abotut my condo, they didn't say nothing about all these faggots up here and I guess you have to "play the game" and you fucks have your own AIDS infected hell holes like that fucking place by te six Arms where all you can smell is cum in the streets. This is a public health Violation! I am already contacting a lawyer and its one thing to be gay, nobofy gives a FUCK what you fucking faggots do in your PRIVACY OF OWN HOME WITH DOORS LOCKED AND WINDOWS DRAWN but in the streets it is againt the LAW! I hapen to know people who will be hearing about this, not including you you fucking dooooooosh bag. Eat sit and die motherfucker, I hope you all get the AIDS!!!!
Anyone who'd care to answer the letter-writer's question about gay mafia monikers or anything else may reach him at email@example.com.
If you speed up and your car is mere inches from my knees, trust me, I will knee your car. If you try to fly through a crosswalk I'm about to step into and you then stop in front of me to look both ways, whatever's in my hand is going to meet your car's side door, trunk, what have you. You do not have the right of way, and if more people started walking the streets armed with pedestrian-protection devices, you might think twice before putting our lives in danger. You see a pedestrian, you stop. You can wait the extra 10 seconds. We however, may not survive your impatience.
We get fewer letters to the editor than we used to, now that you can comment on just about anything on our website, but a steady supply of old-fashioned correspondence still streams in, and sometimes it's fun to dip in and see what's up.
Remember the old tale (from your much hated Bible) about Sodom & Gomorrah?
We can now safely call it Seattle & Tacoma. What a Utopian world it would be for you left-wing fanatics at "the Stranger" if all the country was bowing down subserviently to homosexuals, apostates, and evolutionists. Unfortunately for you, most people in this country are completely against your new world order which embodies chaos & anarchy. Thus creating a world view which is feebly esoteric and confined to the boundaries of the northwest. You wouldn't like it in the southeast, trust me.
As your publicized diatribes spew forth platitudes of how the Christians are overbearing, intrusive people, you in turn create hypocrasy by hatred of God and veritable persecution of any moral individual. As you push the envelope for acceptance of homosexuals/lesbians you alienate & castigate srtraight people.
"Hi, Dominic. I have a subject you may be interested in writing an article about. It involves Jesus, why he was holy, why he was clean. His main advantage over other babies at that time was that he was clean—clean because of the gold and clean because of the incense that was given to Mary by the priests or kings or whatever you want to call them. She was able, with the gold, to get babysitters..." and DELETE!
why are you letting someone anonymously fuck up the aesthetics of slog?
well other than the cash, of course
you can do more complicated/site-integrated advertising but you gotta do it right. hate to say it, but go look at how the various gawker media sites create whole new site templates for ads and they pull it off really well.
tip: slog looks like shit right now
tip #2: i have no idea who captain red rectangle and grey circle is and i don't plan on finding out anytime soon by clicking on any of that crap that is fucking up my like #3 time waster at work
but that's just like my opinion, man
I was as confused as anyone, but then I remembered—oh yeah, it's that Strangercrombie thing. According to our advertising department, a local guy bought this item—Ad Bomb the Hell Out of Slog for one day—because he wanted the world to see this design of his that has personal meaning to him. He's not trying to sell anything or get out any message.
It's true that we did it for the cash, but for what it's worth we didn't keep any of it: All the cash he paid to put his art up on Slog today went to charity.
The shootings in Tucson are a dramatic reminder that we are one of the world’s most violent societies. Violence governs our foreign relations, our sports and video games, and our daily diet.
Yes, our diet. Desensitization to violence begins in the home, when parents assure their naturally inquisitive, animal-loving children that chickens "give" eggs, cows "give" milk, and that pigs "give" their flesh for us to eat. The horrific daily violence and barbaric slaughter visited on these innocent animals and subsidized by us at the checkout counter gets buried in our subconscious mind.
Once our kids have learned to live with the violence of their diet, how much of a stretch is it to while away their idle hours on video games like "Mortal Kombat," "Manhunt," or "Grand Theft Auto?" How likely is this experience then to govern how they resolve a social confrontation in their neighborhood or a military one in an Afghan village?
Most of us abhor violence, but we don’t know how to prevent it.
Giving our kids an honest answer when they ask "Mommy, where do hamburgers come from?" is certainly a great start.
by Lindy West
on Thu, Dec 2, 2010 at 11:03 AM
Remember when Bernard from Lost humps Forrest's mom and does that terrible monkey grunting? I don't believe in censorship, but can we just throw that scene in the garbage forever? Also, ROSE HAS CANCER!!! WHY ARE YOU OVER THERE BANGING MOMS WILLY-NILLY, BERNARD!?!?
Slog tipper Matt writes:
Can you/have you done an article about that Forrest Gump sorta guy who runs all over Seattle day or night in all kinds of weather? I live up on Crown Hill, and I see him all the time. Tall, extremely thin (like a man who runs 20 hours a day would be) always wearing old '70s style running shorts, sporting a grizzly beard—look, he's a living Forrest Gump, okay? If you live in Crown Hill, Ballard, Fremont, you've definitely seen him too. I've seen him run—rain, sun, sleet or snow at all hours of the day and night for the past 6 years.
Hmmm. I know nothing of the Crown Hill Gump. Slog horde? Anyone got the scoop?
Fearless intern David Trujillo transcribed it so you can follow along:
Uh, yes, my name is Enra. I used to write for The Stranger magazine in 1999. This is very, very important what I’m going to tell you. Chief Seattle said, “If you don’t keep your promise to my people, there will be nowhere on earth where the white man is alone; when your children think they’re walking alone in the shop, they will not be alone.” We wiped out 60 million Native Americans. The Gulf Oil Spill is actually the Cortes Oil Spill—it hit on the 21st of April, which is the same date that Cortes landed in 1519, and it is also the Queen Elizabeth’s birthday, and the day after Hitler. And, the, um, if you reverse Cortes it is Tesco. Now, Tesco has gone into a church here, it has gone into the Isle of Man, everything small has closed down. All the pubs and small shops are closed. And so, it’s karma. Karma. Uh, uh, John Pilger said, on the 18th of July, 2001—and that is the same date that David Kelly was killed two years later, who said that there was no weapons in Iraq except the ones that we sold, that we sold them—um, he said, John Pilger said, that Ford motor industry and—a combination of Ford motor industry and the, um, corporate and military and political, um, joining together. This was on the 18th of July, and a threat to the rest of the earth, and they didn’t listen, they ignored nature. And it's nature—it comes back to nature. And Chief Seattle’s words are ringing true. They, we, we, we banned, got the, the um, the Sun Dance and the Ghost Dance. We lifted the ban in 1978 on the 11th of August. We haven’t lifted the ban on the Ghost Dance. Well I’ll tell you something, as I speak for Britain, 60 million ghosts are here! Red man is taking over Britain! And thank god!
Two thoughts: (1) We used to have some awesome freelancers; and (2) after listening to this mp3 in iTunes, the thing that came up next was Seattle School's first couple seconds of the Zombies' "Time of the Season" on seemingly infinite repeat—the perfect mental cleanser. Let it clean your brains too:
Yesterday, my mother, along with thousands of other people, was falsely imprisoned by the Washington State Patrol. When WSP blocked I5, the main means of ingress and egress for thousands of people working in Seattle, it wrongly restricted their liberty to leave an area and get to their homes. WSP falsely imprisoned these people. It was not necessary to block I5, as the Department of Transportation had stated it did on its website. I5 was suitable for slow travel. While waiting for my mother for 12 hours to come home, I watched through the highways cameras dozens of cars, that managed to go past WSP roadblock, drive along I5 all the way to Tacoma. Furthermore, after getting behind the roadblock through residential streets, I myself drove on I5, at times going as fast as 50 miles per hour with the traffic’s flow. Not only did WSDOT failed to prepare the roads for safer travel during this winter storm, WSP falsely imprisoned thousands of people, and put them in danger of freezing.
Dino Rossi at a fashion show to raise money for Rise n' Shine last night? His campaign confirms he was, indeed, there, and Slog tipper P offers this account:
don't know if anyone from the Stranger was at the Fashion First fund-raiser last night to see Dino Rossi on the catwalk, but it was really, really weird. The event was a totally great idea that raised money for Rise and Shine but came to a grinding halt when they brought a bunch of hot policeman out, gave this long speech about how much Seattle loves cops, and how we would do anything for our cops, and aren't cops great, please clap forever for cops, and then had a minute of silence for all the cops lost in the line of duty in the past year or two. I'm definitely pro-cop, but in light of the recent killings, rallying a crowd of fashion plates and hipsters for cops was super weird and wildly inappropriate. People in the crowd were gaping at each other.
Then the fashion show resumes with cops modeling clothes and the big finale: Dino Rossi comes out to do his turn on the catwalk, and the MCs—two guys from some radio station—go completely batshit, yelling at us to vote for Dino and how awesome Dino is and don't forget to vote for Dino, before making a crack about Christine Gregoire. Dino must have padded the audience, because the front rows of rich people go apeshit, too, leaping to their feet and clapping and yelling and Dino is just grinning away, looking like a perfect ass. I've been to a ton of fund-raisers and I love Rise and Shine, but this is the first one I've been to so blatantly mixed politics with a charity event. I get that Republicans are rich and so it makes sense to get them in the audience if you want to raise money, but I felt really steamrolled and disgusted. I'll never, ever attend another event by that organization again.
My name is Morgan Tepsic, I'm 20 years old and my dream is to jump around the world naked.
Here's 2,600 shots in motion showing what I've done so far...it's not very long, and the music is really great.
Thanks and have a good day, Morgan
Normally, unsolicited email from South Korea asking for money would go immediate in the trash, but here's the video he linked to. NSFW!
Naked jumping. That's it. That's the art he wants to make. Here's the page to go to if you want to help fund this. Currently, 16 people have pledged $10, three people have pledged $50, four people have pledged $100, and one person has pledged $1,000. His goal is only $10,000. C'mon! If you pledge $500, you get your name on his butt cheek and he will Photoshop himself into a family portrait of yours (and he does great Photoshop work—here's one example). For $1,000, he will draw your portrait and send you a lock of his hair (in addition to your name on his butt and the family portrait). For $1,500 you get your name on his penis. For $5,000 you get your name on his face.
If you read his tumblr blog, the story he tells is that he was in Oklahoma having a shitty time, he went out into the snow trying to find things to take pictures of, no one was around, he took off his clothes, and made photographs of himself jumping around. Then he decided he could be broke and jumping around in Oklahoma or he could be broke and jumping around in South Korea, and made the wise move. He is taking questions from anyone who wants to ask him something and making videos of himself answering them (here and here). Ask him anything you want here.
I love burlesque. The sparkle, wit and sexiness are an intoxicating mixture, but the First Annual Seafair Follies show fell flat—a true disappointment considering the other delightful performances involving the Swedish Housewife.
First off, rape is not comical. While one may expect the single gratuitous “rape and pillage” joke from a pirate mc, it is an entirely different matter when every other joke is about rape. Vaudeville and burlesque have always had a salacious side to them that pushed the social norms. Yet, continued rape references shifts the production from tawdry to plain demeaning and distasteful while showing a complete lack of ingenuity and wit. Burlesque is a sexually charged venue that empowers women (and men) to be comfortable with themselves and their sexuality with a veneer of quick wit. The repeated jokes about the ultimate violation of women debased the performers and the audience and razed the entire idea of sexy power.
Secondly, this show was advertised with the fun twist of inviting guests to dress up in costumes “to win prizes and the prestigious year long title of Royal Sea Urchin.” Instead, this was a ploy best described as the Royal Fixed Urchin. I, and several others in the audience, was shocked at how blatant the fix was in this contest. The girl who won was wearing a blue leotard with a red anchor sewn to it, red shoes, and a white flower in her hair. It was the kind of costume a dance teacher picks for the annual recital of 10 year olds. This banal costume beat out a woman who cleverly attached trash to a tutu and a seagull to her head to embody sea trash and what I can only be described as an intricately, sexy pirate costume complete with miniature pirate ship attached to her hat. Why invite the audience to dress-up if there is no intention of having an actual competition. Such ploys only breed discord in the audience and create the sort of bad taste that makes people decline to attend another show. With all the rape jokes, it’s surprising Captain Bloodbeard didn’t mention the ultimate rape of fairness that occurred with the giving of the title to the least imaginative costume there.
I hope if this show has a second annual production next year, clever humor is incorporated and fairness returns to the competition.
Did you read the I, Anonymous this week about the wedding that the bride and groom are charging people to attend? Here's the first half:
You used Papyrus as a font on your wedding invite. We can get past that. Asking for money instead of gifts so you can fund your honeymoon AND your fucking trip to Burning Man? It's tacky and obnoxious, but I'll let it slide. But charging for food, booze, and "carnival games"? Encouraging people to bring a guest... as long as the guest pays 20 bucks into a "wedding gift box" at the door?! The note encouraging photographer-friends to work for free and send you digital files was a nice touch. But this part's REALLY special: I found out that some people got a "ticket" with their invitation, entitling them to a wristband and a VIP area with free food. You have been going to shitty festivals for too long and you are confused...
Today, we got a letter to the editor from the bride. She writes (sic throughout, identifying details redacted):
To who it may concern,
This article is specifically about our wedding. I would cordially like to invite you to our wedding, by passing the “ridiculous” 20 door fee and have to be welcomed into our “tacky” vip room. I’m not sure how to handle the attack made our wedding by this person… with whom I’m pretty sure I know their disgust having not received an invite. I don’t feel the need to explain to you the editor the reasons why we are having a vip room for the older folks and friends that are helping us throw this event, but I would like to invite you to report on the performances and djs that are working for us that night. This even is a way to bring burning man and the likes to our family and friends who will never get the chance to go and experience the place where we fell in love.
I’m having a hard time focusing write now on writing this letter considering it is less then three weeks to my wedding and I just read the article. I am NOT a bridezilla nor is my groom. If you would like to contact me my cell phone number is [redacted]. I would just like the opportunity to explain, rather then walk around with this dark cloud over my head for the remainder of the time before the wedding.
Our wedding is at [place, date, and time redacted].
Thanks again Sorry for this letter being all over the place.. once again.. I’m just shocked and baffled that we are being attacked like this
Much thanks, [name redacted]
The wedding is still a few weeks out, but The Stranger is taking the bride up on her offer and will be reporting back on the party—and the family drama, the VIP haves and have-nots, the performances and DJs—in an upcoming installment of Party Crasher.
• Teachers in Seattle receive an average of $70,850 for a ten-month year, plus $9,855 in benefits. Teachers can earn up to $88,463, or $98,318 including benefits.
• The ten-month work year includes nine paid holidays, and a total of four paid weeks off (not counting summers). District employees receive ten days of paid sick leave and two days of personal leave.
The point of the study did not seem to be who the hell knew teachers made that much money, but this:
• Seniority rules govern most displacements and lay-offs. Younger teachers are let go first.
• Teacher evaluations do not include measures of student progress. District employees can remove a poor annual performance report from their file after four years.
The WPC recommended that the Seattle Public Schools dump seniority as the means of determining layoffs, allow performance pay, etc. Liv Finne, who authored the study, says, “The poor academic showing in Seattle public schools makes it clear that it’s time to look at workplace reforms that reward performance and create incentives for teaching excellence.” Um, YES. Especially if they're making $70K for nine months of work a year.
UPDATE: The WPC's Director for Education Liv Finne confirms:
In response to your question about average teacher pay in Seattle being $70,850, this is a true fact. You can verify this fact with Joy Stevens, Sr. Legal Assistant/Public Records Officer at the Seattle School District...
Median pay for Seattle teachers is around $62,000. The average is skewed upwards to $70,850 because such a large percentage of teachers (I don’t have the exact proportion) are older teachers earning well over $80,000, up to the maximum of $88,463.
To respond to some of the comments, everyone in the office was surprised at this average (and the median is higher than you'd think, too), but! Obviously! Good, experienced teachers who work their asses off should be well compensated. That being the case, the school district should be attracting good people—and holding them to high standards. And not having to keep the creaky ones around if they're no good.
We here at The Stranger are way more church-mousey than teachers, come to find out. Then again, you know what they say: Those who can, teach; those who can't, make a damn newspaper every week.