Thanks to Slog tippers Not Me and Ida Know.

As Break.com user ssproair explains:

This fourth grade girl thinks she is about to give a school report on where her Dad is stationed in Iraq and is surprised when he shows up for her report.

What that sentence looks like in real life:

Sniff and hurrah. Thanks for the heads-up, MetaFilter.

Except us.

For these trick-or-treaters—older kids who aren't in costumes—we lay in a few bags of peeled-and-wrapped garlic cloves. We mix 'em into the bowl with the rest of the candy so they're handy, but we're careful to only give 'em to older kids who don't come in costume. The garlic says, "My, you're getting up there," and, "Gee, you could at least make an effort." We think everybody should do it.

Boooooooo!

(click photo to enlarge)

The NYT reports...

Many in today’s pregnancy-flaunting, soccer-cheering, organic-snack-proffering generation of parents would never spank their children. We congratulate our toddlers for blowing their nose (“Good job!”), we friend our teenagers (literally and virtually), we spend hours teaching our elementary-school offspring how to understand their feelings. But, incongruously and with regularity, this is a generation that yells.

“I’ve worked with thousands of parents and I can tell you, without question, that screaming is the new spanking,” said Amy McCready, the founder of Positive Parenting Solutions, which teaches parenting skills in classes, individual coaching sessions and an online course. “This is so the issue right now. As parents understand that it’s not socially acceptable to spank children, they are at a loss for what they can do."

In October of 2007 I did a piece for This American Life defending Alec Baldwin's infamous tirade—a piece that went down really well with NPR's audience!—that defended yelling at kids. "We can't hit 'em," I said, "volume is all we got." You can hear that piece ("Use Your Words") here.

Not long ago, I wake up in Santa Monica and find this:

The Lousiana Justice of the Peace who refused to perform an interracial marriage explains himself, and sort of apologizes:

So what are the odds that one particular song would pop up on my iPhone?

Um... pretty high, my boyfriend would point out, since I don't really have that much music on iPhone. There's about 100-or-so albums on my iPhone, mostly musicals, which puts the odds of any particular song popping up when I've got it on shuffle at maybe 1/1000. Anyhow: in spring of 2008, in the months after my mom's death, I listened to the original Broadway cast recording of Avenue Q over and over again. Listened to it long into the summer. Because I'm OCD like that—all musical theater queens are OCD like that—and because it helped. Every time the finale came on—"For Now"— I kinda lost of my shit. It made me cry my eyes out over and over again, and... you know... that helped. It did. So I'm walking down the street and my iPhone is on shuffle and...

For now there's life.
For now there's love.
For now there's work.
For now there's happiness.

But only for now.

For now discomfort.
For now there's friendship.

Only for now.

[snip]

Each time you smile, it'll only last a while.
Life may be scary, but it's only temporary.

Everything in life is only for...

Now.

What do you know: that song still makes me lose my shit. Today was supposed to be my mom's 69th birthday. Taking the rest of the day off. You can listen to "For Now" here. It helps.

As this brilliant sketch from The Nick & Jessica Variety Hour makes clear, queers certainly don't help.

Also, Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson are comic geniuses. I don't care if they're no longer married—I want this show back on the air.

Thanks for the heads-up, MovieLine.

This just in from Stranger reader Adrien:

I ride my bike past a truck with this sticker on it everyday (it parks near Seattle University). I know I don't like the sentiment, but I don't understand what the sticker means:

Help me! I'm dying to know why I don't like this truck. Do they mean that, if it weren't for soldiers, we'd be taken over by foreign nations and be forced to speak their language? That just doesn't make any sense!

I hope you can help me, Adrien

Dear Adrien: Happy to help. You do not like that truck because you can't handle the truth.

Seriously, it weren't for soldiers, we'd only be able to read bumper stickers in Lebanese.

Dear Australia: Your nation produced this skit, our nation produced this headline. Let's call it a draw.

Earlier today, I slogged about the Australian television show that horrified guest star Harry Connick Jr. by featuring a ridiculous act in blackface.

Every one of the comments on my post has seconded Connick's horror, with some noting the old-school racism that still pervades Australia as a whole.

But check out these presumably Australian YouTube comments:

typical... why do americans have to be so politically correct it was done as a laugh. Australia have a sense of humor. He's only said anything so he doesnt get in trouble back in the land of the 'free'! Dont ever invite him back.

The fact is this is AUSTRALIA and the majority of watchers find it entertaining we should no apologise because we offend another nation. Do we apologise to middle eastern countries for our TV showing semi-naked women? Don't get me wrong - I absolutely love America but I do not believe their culture should influence our nation.

if harry didnt open his stupid mouth this wouldnt be a problem, i swear some people just go looking for trouble

There is nothing racist about this. It is a parody only of the Jackson Five, not black people in general. Quite besides that, Michael Jackson hasn't been black in a long time. Race and skin colour are simply not of any significance to us here, and are certainly not an indicator of a persons merit. That is why we feel comfortable joking about it. Other countries should take note and learn from us.

See the original video here.

Tuesday, 06 October 2009

Even after Microsoft gave its word they would stay neutral in the culture war swirling around our efforts to defend traditional marriage, the company made a token gesture by donating $100,000 to support SB 5688 (Everything But Marriage), scheduled to go before Washington voters in November. That represents small potatoes compared to the 65 million dollars bequeathed by Ric Weiland to promote homosexual marriage. Makes one wonder why the cause needed the Microsoft donation. Rather than fund the homosexual marriage efforts, maybe the 65 million dollars went to the legislature in Olympia. I suggest Microsoft give $100,000 to the coalitions upholding traditional marriage in this state, just to make it fair!

Another question is why is the homosexual community so elated to receive more funding when they claim their work is already done—everyone supports homosexual marriage? I guess we'll see if that's true come November...

Pastor Hutcherson