by Dan Savage
on Wed, Apr 3, 2013 at 12:50 PM
Arizona Republicans are pushing a law that would criminalize peeing while trans. Watch the video. Like Masen Davis says: Where would his presence be more disruptive? In the men's room or the women's room? The proposed law would require Davis to use the women's room because there's an "F" on his birth certificate. He would also be forced to use women's dressing rooms and women's locker rooms. He was born female, transitioned to male years ago, lives as a male, and certainly looks like a male. But this law, if enacted, would require him to use women's restrooms, locker rooms, and changing rooms or face a $2500 fine and six months in jail.
This is crazy.
And what problem was this law designed to address? Trans people are not assaulting non-trans people in public restrooms. If the haters could point to even a single example of a trans person assaulting a non-trans person in a public restroom, they would point to it. They would point to it all the fucking time. We would hear about it all the fucking time. They would never shut up about it. But there aren't any examples for the haters to point to because it doesn't happen.
The Uruguay Senate, in approving a bill on April 2, 2013, to legalize same-sex marriage, has moved to guarantee marriage equality and diminish discrimination, Human Rights Watch said. The vote was 23 to 8. Uruguay would be the 12th country to approve same-sex marriage nationwide. The lower house of Uruguay’s legislature voted in December 2012 to legalize same-sex marriage. The Senate bill included some modifications, including a measure to raise the minimum age for marriage to 16 for everyone, instead of the present age 12 for girls and 14 for boys. Human Rights Watch urges all countries to eliminate child marriage and to adopt 18 as a minimum age for marriage for both sexes.
Reconciling Uruguay's Senate and House marriage equality bills is a formality. This is a done deal: marriage equality is coming to Uruguay.
When I climbed the Capitol steps in January, I promised myself that I would return to the Senate with an open mind and greater respect for others. Same-sex couples should have the right to civil marriage. Our time on this Earth is limited, I know that better than most. Life comes down to who you love and who loves you back— government has no place in the middle.
Kirk is the second Republican Senator to back marriage equality. Somewhere Mike Huckabee is shitting himself.
Carper joins a list of Democratic Senators who have come out for marriage equality in the last week. Only seven remain who haven't declared their support. They are: Joe Donnelly (D-IN), Tim Johnson (D-SD), Heidi Heitkamp (D-ND), Mary Landrieu (D-LA), Joe Manchin (D-WV), Bill Nelson (D-FL), and Mark Pryor, (D-AR).
Hard to imagine any of the remaining Dem Senators coming around—but two days ago I would've said the same thing about Bob Casey. Here's hoping Casey pulls a similar 180 on abortion rights and comes out for a woman's right to choose.
by Dan Savage
on Tue, Apr 2, 2013 at 7:56 AM
The anti-gay haters argued before the Supreme Court that marriage needs to be reserved for straight couples because straight sex makes babies. This is not a new argument. And it goes like this: since gay couples have to plan to make babies—since we can't get drunk and adopt one night—we don't need marriage. Because, um, you see... marriage is about kids, it's about raising children, and children that are planned for don't really need married parents. The families of planned-for children don't need the rights and protections of marriage. Because they don't. They just don't. Only unplanned children need married parents. (And, of course, planned-for children with straight parents—they should be allowed to marry on a technicality.) And everyone knows that if you let gay people marry, well, then lots and lots of straight people will refuse to marry. Because why would straight people want to get married if gay people were getting married? Straight people hate gay people so much! And this will lead to lots more children being born to unmarried straight parents. Because that's how much straight people hate gay people: straight people hate gay peopel so much that they'll harm themselves and harm their own children in order to express their contempt for gay people. Because straight people suck.
Which brings us to this morning's big news: Lindsay Lohan may be pregnant. Can you see the logic in the anti-gay haters' argument now? The fact that there might be a fetus steeping in a puddle of gin inside Lindsay Lohan is the #1 reason why marriage must be reserved exclusively for heterosexuals. Reserve marriage rights for heterosexuals and Lindsay will do right by her gin-pickled child... just like Lindsay's straight parents did right by her.
The defense-of-traditional-marriage rests its case, your honor.
by Dan Savage
on Mon, Apr 1, 2013 at 4:23 PM
Aaron Hartzler wrote a beautiful piece for Salon about coming out to—and breaking away from—his deeply religious and just-as-deeply homophobic parents:
Several years later, when I finally came out, Mom broke her silence on the subject. “It would be easier to go to your funeral than to know you are going to spend the night with that man.” This was the fevered pitch of the bullying, the loudest it ever became. Since then, the noise has subsided along with any meaningful communication between us, buried beneath the shallow serifs of her email italics — cheerful updates about the weather in places I’ve never lived, and people I’ve never met, at churches I’ll never attend.
Growing up means learning to hold two opposing views about the same thing. It’s not that I’ve stopped loving Mom and Dad—I haven’t. It’s just that I’ve accepted the fact that they may be as powerless as I am to change. Turns out unconditional love is a two-way street, so I protect myself with a few well-placed guardrails—one of which is the relative distance of communicating with Mom mainly by text and email.
by Dan Savage
on Mon, Apr 1, 2013 at 8:27 AM
We're not entitled to romantic love, we're not entitled to sex, we're not entitled to equal treatment under the law. But we are entitled to friendship:
Once again: marriage isn't "one man, one woman, forever, to bring about new life" if you're straight.
Straight people don't have to marry to have children, they don't have to have children to marry, and they don't have remain married forever. Newt Gingrich fucked the shit out of his "devoutly Catholic" mistress for eight years. Then, when Newt's second wife refused to agree to an open marriage, Newt divorced her, converted to Catholicism, and married his mistress. After thirteen years of (third) marriage, Newt and his "devoutly Catholic" wife Callista have yet to produce new life. But somehow Newt and Callista are entitled to marriage rights—their marriage rite was performed in a Catholic church—despite the fact that Gingrich's marriage violates "what God has taught" Cardinal Dolan about marriage.
Dolan's God's rules only apply when gay couples want to marry. Straight couples can do whatever they want. Straight couples like Newt and Callista can shit all over God's rules and Dolan's church won't object. Hell, Dolan's church will bless the the shit out of that union.
Gay couples to Cardinal Dolan: You're entitled to go fuck yourself.
A top Republican in Georgia has sounded an ominous warning that legalization of same-sex marriage may also lead to fraud. Sue Everhart, chairwoman of the Georgia Republican Party, told the Marietta Daily Journal in a story published Saturday that once gay nuptials are legally permitted, there will be nothing to stop a straight person from exploiting the system in order to claim marital benefits. “You may be as straight as an arrow, and you may have a friend that is as straight as an arrow,” Everhart said. “Say you had a great job with the government where you had this wonderful health plan. I mean, what would prohibit you from saying that you’re gay, and y’all get married and still live as separate, but you get all the benefits?"
This nightmare scenario—straight people getting married (or staying married) for the benefits!—happens all the time. If Ms. Everhart wants to prevent straight people from marrying other straight people for their "wonderful health plans," as opposed to their awesome oral/anal/bondage skills, she should support a single-payer health-care plan. If the United States had a health-care system like Canada does, no one would marry—no one would have to marry—to obtain benefits. Linking health care to marriage is 1. unfair to single people and 2. tempts gay and straight to marry for the all the wrong reasons. Not for love, not for life, but for Aetna.
As for this...
Everhart also expressed a distaste for homosexuality, which she argued is unnatural. “Lord, I’m going to get in trouble over this, but it is not natural for two women or two men to be married,” Everhart said. “If it was natural, they would have the equipment to have a sexual relationship.”
After screaming and yelling for years—for centuries—about the evils, the dangers, the health risks, the immorality, the irresistible allure, etc., of all the hot and sweaty buttsecks the gays were having, the haters are now suddenly claiming that we can't have sex at all. We shouldn't be allowed to marry, says Chicago's Cardinal George, because gay people can't consummate our marriages. We don't have the equipment to have a sexual relationship, says the chairwoman of the Georgia Republican Party, so we shouldn't be allowed to marry. I don't know how we went from gay sex being sick and sinful and irresistible—they used to argue that gay sex had to be illegal and gay people oppressed because otherwise everyone would turn gay and the human race would go extinct—to gay sex being impossible. But here we are.
In a related development...
Terry and I did the impossible last night. So we're not just gay guys anymore. We're superheroes. Or something. Because we do the impossible! All the time!
by Dan Savage
on Tue, Mar 26, 2013 at 6:54 AM
Also: the anti-gay haters from NOM are currently marching on the Supreme Court behind a banner that reads "Every Child Deserves a Mom and a Dad." If NOM believed that every child child deserved a mom and a dad—and that the law should reflect and mandate that—NOM would be fighting IVF treatments, which are often used by single straight women, and demanding that sperm banks be closed. NOM would oppose adoptions by single straight people and NOM would be demand that divorce be made illegal for straight couples who already have children. But they're not doing any of that, of course, because this isn't about children. It's about hate.
So same-sex marriage and wiping out the Defense of Marriage Act is now a civil right. People that oppose it are bigots and nobody wants to be a bigot. But the thing you can't say is that if left to a vote of the people, same-sex marriage loses every time it's on the ballot. I think so far it's 30 times. State ballots, initiatives and other things, and the Defense of Marriage Act at the federal level. It's never passed. You wouldn't know that, would you, by listening to the pop culture media? You would think that this issue has overtaken everything, it's the most important issue to everybody and anybody, and that it has massive public support. And yet every time it's been voted on by the people it has gone down to defeat. That's why the courts have to get involved, because the people, according to the left, won't do the right thing.
Someone needs to let Rush know about the polls. And someone needs to let Rush know that marriage equality has been approved at the ballot box—in four states. And someone needs to tell Rush to go fuck himself.
by Dan Savage
on Mon, Mar 18, 2013 at 7:51 AM
We will never see another Democratic candidate for president—another viable one—who opposes marriage equality. And Hillary backed marriage equality today because it's the right thing to do for all kids, not just for her kid.
The decision of Sen. Rob Portman (R-Ohio) to support same-sex marriage after learning that his son was gay has inspired hundreds of other Republican lawmakers to stop speaking to their children immediately, G.O.P. leaders confirmed today.
by Dan Savage
on Sat, Mar 16, 2013 at 1:53 PM
This morning's gay agenda: wake and bake a cinnamon/apple/walnut cake for our straight neighbors and their four kids. The dad had surgery earlier this week and is on bed rest. He's an amazing cook and he bakes the most delicious treats for his kids on the weekend. On the surface, of course, this looks like a thoughtful gesture—we didn't want his wife or kids to go without fresh-baked treats while dad is laid up—but the Traditional Values Coalition sees this bundt cake for what it really is. Just another assault on the traditional family. This one with a light dusting a powdered sugar. (Get well soon, John!)
by Dan Savage
on Thu, Mar 14, 2013 at 11:39 AM
Straight people who've adopted kids? Your families are second best, your kids are second best, and your parenting is second best. So says the chairman of the National Organization for Marriage. He said it in an interview with the Associated Press and he was specifically talking about United States Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts, Roberts' wife, and Roberts' two adopted children. AP:
“You’re looking at what is the best course societywide to get you the optimal result in the widest variety of cases. That often is not open to people in individual cases. Certainly adoption in families headed, like Chief Roberts’ family is, by a heterosexual couple, is by far the second-best option,” said John Eastman, chairman of the National Organization for Marriage. Eastman also teaches law at Chapman University law school in Orange, Calif.
It's making headlines. Here, for example, is the front page of HuffPo right now:
John Aravosis pivots from NOM vs. the Roberts Family to the new pope vs. orphans. Looking forward to reading blog posts about the wisdom of NOM attacking the family of the Chief Justice on the eve of the court's decisions on gay marriage.
There's something in the Midwest called a Julaine Appling, which is president of the anti-gay group Wisconsin Family Action, and Appling became outraged upon learning that the University of Wisconsin in Fox Valley was hosting a drag show. Appling warned that a “self-proclaimed male homosexual transvestite ‘Shangela’" would be performing at the public university... and THAT IT MUST BE STOPPED. "Taxpayers should beware, and quickly take action to defend our shared values," Appling bellowed in an action alert, calling the show a "shameful display of sexual immorality on our campuses and in our local communities.” Which led to a FOX affiliate running a breathless story featuring Appling and a student who confirmed, "If it's something I don't agree with, it's hard to see my money going towards that."
As of Tuesday, the drag show was struggling—with only half the ticket sold. Enter Dan Savage, who saw blogger John Becker's tweet, and stepped up:
Not only did Dan retweet the story to his 140,000+ Twitter followers, he also said that he wanted to help UW-Fox Valley sell out the show.
To make a long story short, after talking with Dan and getting him in touch with the UW-Fox Valley box office, he decided to buy all the remaining tickets and donate them to the school to distribute free of charge to students and community members!
Amazing, right? I’m incredibly touched that a tireless national LGBT advocate like Dan would do so much to personally help make a university drag show in northeastern Wisconsin a success. What a great gift to the entire Fox Valley community! And as a bonus, it’s also great way to stick it to Ms. Appling and the puritans over at Wisconsin Family Action.
All hail Dan! And private to Ms. Appling: Please declare your next war on our office's janky HVAC system.
The American Civil Liberties Union of Pennsylvania and Equality Pennsylvania sent a letter today to the Chambersburg Area School District (CASD) on behalf of a group of Chambersburg Area Senior High School students whose request to form a Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA) club was denied by the school board last month. According to the letter, the school board's decision to deny the group status as an official club is a violation of federal law. The letter gives the school district until March 15, 2013, to reverse its decision or face legal action.
The ACLU does so much good for so many LGBT kids all over the country. The ACLU takes discrimination against LGBT kids seriously and they come down like ten tons of shit on school boards that violate the rights of LGBT kids—something school boards used to do with absolute impunity. It can come as a shock to a the members of a school board when they suddenly realize that the LGBT kids in their districts have allies, that some of those allies are lawyers, and that illegal discrimination against LGBT kids means headlines and lawsuits and fines.
by Dan Savage
on Tue, Mar 12, 2013 at 12:24 PM
This guy has been thinking long and hard about gay sex. But, um, was gay marriage legal in the 1980s when the AIDS epidemic was raging? Because I missed that somehow. Still, I was relieved to finally lose my virginity to Terry after we got legally married in Washington state last December. We'd been waiting such a long time. But true love waits, right?
A day ahead of the papal conclave, faces at the scandal-struck Vatican were even redder than usual after it emerged that the Holy See had purchased a €23 million (£21 million) share of a Rome apartment block that houses Europe’s biggest gay sauna. The senior Vatican figure sweating the most due to the unlikely proximity of the gay Europa Multiclub is probably Cardinal Ivan Dias, the head of the Congregation for Evangelisation of Peoples, who is due to participate in tomorrow’s election at the Sistine Chapel. This 76-year-old “prince of the church” enjoys a 12-room apartment on the first-floor of the imposing palazzo, at 2 Via Carducci, just yards from the ground floor entrance to the steamy flesh pot. There are 18 other Vatican apartments in the block, many of which house priests.
The proximity of so many priests to a big gay bathhouse is a lot of things—a whole lot of things—but "unlikely" ain't one of 'em.
On March 30, UW TEST—a student-run organization that offers free HIV testing and trains med students to be better providers when it comes to sexual health and working with the LGBTQ community—is having a fundraiser cabaret.
"It's a pretty cool group," writes UW med student and UW TEST volunteer Adam. "And last year they hosted a variety show fundraiser with a bunch of people from the Seattle Men's Chorus in Meany Hall. Each performance somehow reflects an experience of knowing someone with, being diagnosed with, or living with HIV. Song, dance, monologue, etc. Attendance is around 300; all volunteer."
Carly Rae Jepsen, singer of "Call Me Maybe" (you're welcome for screwing your afternoon with that ear worm!), has withdrawn her participation in this summer's Boy Scouts Jamboree, after an online petition from gay Eagle Scout Derek Nance asking her and Train not to perform for the organization because they still ban gay members got tens of thousands of signatures and garnered attention from GLAAD.
This morning, Jepsen tweeted: "As an artist who believes in equality for all people, I will not be participating in the Boy Scouts of America Jamboree this summer..."
When we booked this show for the Boy Scouts of America we were not aware of any policy barring openly gay people from participation within the organization. Train strongly opposes any kind of policy that questions the equality of any American citizen. We have always seen the BSA as a great and noble organization. We look forward to participating in the Jamboree this summer, as long as they make the right decision before then.