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Friday, June 8, 2012

HUMP! 2012 Call for Submissions!

Posted by on Fri, Jun 8, 2012 at 4:32 PM


Thursday, May 24, 2012

HUMP! 2012 Call for Submissions!

Posted by on Thu, May 24, 2012 at 9:28 AM



Thursday, May 17, 2012

HUMP! 2012 Call for Submissions!

Posted by on Thu, May 17, 2012 at 12:19 PM


Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Writing Up HUMP! 2012 Announcement...

Posted by on Tue, May 15, 2012 at 11:51 AM

...and wanted to ask any HUMP! fans lurking on Slog if there's anything in particular they'd like to see this year. Last year's "EXTRA CREDIT" props included duct tape, Super Soakers, and the number 7. Anything you wanna see this year, HUMPers? Writing this thing up now, so... need to hear from you ASAP.

EDS. UPDATE: Dates, submission guidelines, and all that for HUMP! 2012 are now over here!

Friday, April 27, 2012

Would You Like to Watch the Animated Centaur Porno That Won the Humor Category at Hump Last Year?

Posted by on Fri, Apr 27, 2012 at 4:02 PM

The funniest movie at last year's Hump! is now enjoying its YouTube premiere. For a good time, go watch it again—or for the first time! It's NSFACPW (Not Safe for Anti-Centaur Porn Workplaces).

Related: The categories, deadline, and extra-credit details about the 2012 Hump will be announced in the next issue of The Stranger. If you want to win thousands of dollars this year at Seattle's only Pulitzer Prize-winning porn festival, you need to get cracking.


Wednesday, November 23, 2011

And the HUMP! Award Goes To...

Posted by on Wed, Nov 23, 2011 at 12:40 PM


We announced the winners of this year's HUMP! Awards last night. Find out who won here.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

HUMP! 7 Winners!

Posted by on Tue, Nov 22, 2011 at 7:22 PM

HUMP! by the numbers: two cities, 23 films, 29 packed screenings, 12,000 happy, horny audience members, and 12,000 ballots to sort and count. The Pacific Northwest’s biggest, best, and only amateur porn festival has come and gone. Ask anyone who was lucky enough to get a ticket: HUMP! is a truly magical event, a joyful celebration of sexual diversity. But HUMP! couldn’t happen without the performers and directors who make the films! And so, without further ado, it is our pleasure to announce this winners of this year's HUMP! Awards.

Runner-Up ($500 prize): "Go Fuck Yourself"
First Place ($1000 prize): "Mythical Proportions"

Runner-Up ($500 prize): "Don’t Call Me Missy"
First Place ($1000 prize): "Knife"

Runner-Up ($500 prize): "The One Where the Girl is Pushed Against the Door"
First Place ($1000 prize): "Music for 2 Humans"


The coveted Palme d'HUMP!—and the $4000 Grand Prize—goes to...
"Teenage Dream"

Congratulations to everyone who participated in HUMP! 2011. You're all winners in our book. We hope you had as much fun making your entries as we had watching them. And if you think you can do better... start working now on your five-minute flick for HUMP! 2012. Details coming this Spring!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Secular Orientation

Posted by on Wed, Nov 16, 2011 at 2:09 PM

Greta Christina posts a thoughtful review/reflection on HUMP!:

I loved the polymorphously perverse variety of it: the mix of straight and gay and lesbian and bi and “who the fuck knows what that was”; the mix of kink and vanilla and many flavors in between; the mix of fucked-up and hilarious and touchingly sweet. I loved that some of the most kinky and fucked-up stuff was also some of the sweetest. And even though it makes me a little sad that most of these films are shown only for the HUMP festival and will never be seen again (all copies of the films are returned to the filmmakers or destroyed after the festival—one of their mottos is “porn star for a weekend—not for life”), there’s also something about this that I liked. It made me feel more present, more in the moment, made me pay closer attention and really be here now. (Be there then. Whatever.)

But I think the thing I liked best about the HUMP! festival was… well, the very fact that it was happening. The fact that several hundred people were willing—not just willing but happy, not just happy but excited and delighted and eager—to sit in a public space with several hundred strangers, and watch explicit, often wildly freaky sex videos. (At multiple shows per night. Most of which sold out almost immediately.)

There was a shameless quality to the event. And I don’t mean “shameless” as in “brazen” or “audacious” or “in-your-face.” I mean, quite literally, without shame. The audience was excited, delighted, surprised, shocked, turned on, grossed out, touched, laughing uproariously, on the edge of their seats, and more. But I was in that theater for an hour and a half—longer, if you count hanging out in the lobby waiting to get in—and I didn’t get a single whiff of shame. A little giggly nervous excitement was the closest I saw to anything even resembling shame. And it was a privilege and a delight to see, and to be part of. Like Lily Tomlin said in Jane Wagner’s The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe: “The play was soup—the audience was art.”

Go read the whole thing. (Thanks for the heads up, Blaghag.)


Friday, November 11, 2011

HUMP-ing This Weekend at Uptown Theater

Posted by on Fri, Nov 11, 2011 at 5:42 PM

Hey, did you know there's still tickets for the last two midnight shows... and also, rush tickets have been available at ALL shows. You can still get HUMP!-ed! Like these people. I think they were having fun...

On The Boards, Thurs Nov. 3rd
  • Kelly O
  • On The Boards, Thurs Nov. 3rd

Monday, November 7, 2011

There Was No Girl-on-Girl(-on-Donut) Action at This Year's Festival

Posted by on Mon, Nov 7, 2011 at 8:29 AM

An important correction to this weekend's Slog post about HUMP!:

I'm Mateo Valentino, the director and one of the actors in the film Donut! I'm writing in regards to your recent write-up of HUMP! I wanted to let you know that both of the main actors in the film are trans, one is a trans guy and the other is genderqueer, and so actually the film is the only trans porn in the festival and not the only dyke porn. Oliver and Randy are pretty big fags, and it's really important to the actors to have their identities recognized. :) (Nothing against lesbians of course.)

I left a similar note on my submission form because we were all scared the actors would get misgendered, but I know there's a lot going on and I don't know who saw it. Could I ask you to make a correction to your article and let anyone else that might write about the festival from the Stranger to know to refer to it properly in the future?

I appreciate your time and I'm here if you have any questions,


I wrote to Mateo to apologize for the misidentification. Mateo wrote back:

While i have your attention, I'd just like to say that the actors use he pronouns. Also, your question about the lack of dyke porn [in your post] is interesting, but i think a more interesting one is why there was so little porn with trans actors this year, and why the word trans/gender is lacking in a lot of the publications from HUMP!

Is there a strong precedent for trans people in HUMP!? I've been thinking about this, and how we can foster an environment in which trans people feel comfortable and good about being on the screen—especially those who don't always pass, and who haven't had modifications like top surgery that would help them do so.

I do understand that the eye sees what the eye sees. I think, however, that we need to try to look for clues more, ask more questions, resist the temptation to assign gender to people that we don't know, and continue to divide our attachment to male/female assigned body = male/female.

Thanks again for reading and listening to my 2¢,


There have been films at past HUMP!s that featured trans performers (all trans men, I believe) and last year we had a film that featured a trans performer and an intersex performer. But Donut was this year's only film with trans actors, as it turns out. All are welcome and have always been welcome to contribute to HUMP! Looking ahead, this line has appeared unchanged on the HUMP! info page for a few years:

Entries can be erotica, hardcore, softcore, live-action, BDSM, animation, gay, straight, bi—whatever lifts your luggage! We draw the line at animals, kids and poop. Entries with any of those items will not be considered for HUMP!

We'll add "trans" and "genderqueer" to the boilerplate when we update the site for HUMP! 2012.

Anything else the boilerplate lacks? Let us know in comments.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

This Is What Democracy Looks Like (Well, This Is What Democracy Looks Like at a Porn Festival)

Posted by on Sat, Nov 5, 2011 at 3:22 PM

At HUMP! even the ballot boxes get in on the action...


Audience members at HUMP! get to vote for Best Sex, Best Kink, Best Humor, and Best In Show, and they get to stuff their ballots into one of two boxes: Boyhole Starfruit Ballot Box or Girlhole Twatsnatch Ballot Box. (The ballot boxes were named by HUMP!'s majority-female door staff.) And which voterifice do HUMPers prefer? By a two-to-one margin, HUMP!ers prefer Boyhole Starfruit to Girlhole Twatsnatch. We dump out both ballot boxes at the end of every show and there are always twice as many ballots in Boyhole Starfruit as there are in Girlhole Twatsnatch. And it's not just gay dudes who are stuffing it in Boyhole. While gay dudes are responsible some of this year's best films—the fags really brought it—they don't make up 2/3 of the HUMP! audience. Straight girls, straight guys, gay guys, bisexuals: everybody loves Boyhole Starfruit.

In other HUMP! news...

All of today's shows—4, 6, 8, 10, and Midnight—are sold out, but there are rush tickets available before each show. Last night we were able to get almost all rushers in. So if you don't have a ticket and you want to get HUMP!ed, get down to On the Boards 45 minutes before a screening and line up. (If you bought more tickets to a screening than you wound up needing, let us know at the door and we'll sell your ticket to a rusher and give you the money.) Please note: there's a lot of construction on Mercer and traffic is a nightmare. Budget extra time, if you're driving, so you don't miss any of the films.

Also... for folks who've already seen HUMP!, this is your open thread to discuss this year's entries. Did you catch the duct tape in Mythical Proportions? Freaked out by Don't Call Me Missy? Gutted by Knife? Was your mind blown by Go Fuck Yourself? Were carbphobes freaked out by Donut? Creamed by Teenage Dream?


UPDATE: A HUMP!er who stuffed his/her ballot in Girlhole Twatsnatch asks...


Good question! We only got one submission with girl-on-girl-on(-donut) action this year, and it's in the festival. We've certainly had more dyke porn in the past and we would've loved to have had more this year. We've noticed that in the years when we get lots of gay porn, we don't get as much dyke porn and vice-versa. This year the gay boys brought it. Hopefully next year the dykes will bring it. Consider this a challenge, lady-lovin' ladies.

UPDATE 2: More HUMP! Questions!

Some folks leave notes on the backs of their ballots—penetrating questions for the curators and organizers of Seattle's biggest, best, and only amateur and locally-produced porn festival—and I'm going to reproduce some of them here and answer 'em to the best of my ability. Some people just leave boob doodles on the backs of their ballots. We'll reproduce those here too. (Spoilers ahead, click carefully.)

Continue reading »


Thursday, November 3, 2011

HUMP! Kicks Off In Three Hours!

Posted by on Thu, Nov 3, 2011 at 12:50 PM


HUMP!—still Seattle's biggest, best, and only amateur and locally-produced porn festival—kicks off today at 4 PM at On the Boards. There are still a few tickets available for today and tomorrow's 4 PM screenings—and a handful tickets are still available for the midnight screenings this weekend (order tickets here)—but all other HUMP! screenings are sold out. BUT! If you can't make a 4 PM screening, or you're not the midnight-amateur-porn-festival-show type, you can still get into HUMP! We sell rush seats on a first-come, first-serve basis before every screening, and we can usually manage to squeeze in most rushers. So if you want to come to a Friday or Saturday show at 6, 8, 0r 10, come down early and line up before the show and we'll see what we can do for you. (Rush ticket sales are cash only.)

And this is one HUMP! that you're not going to want to miss. I think it may be the hottest, funniest, scariest HUMP! ever. Tons of hot bodies, lots of amazingly-hot, never-seen-before-at-HUMP! sex acts, shit that will have you laughing your ass off and shit that will have you covering your eyes. And remember... if you miss HUMP!, you miss HUMP! These films will not be released online or anywhere else. (Well, they won't be released by us. Some filmmakers do release their films on their own, but most don't—most folks who participate in HUMP! to be porn stars for the weekend, not the rest of their lives.)

See you at HUMP!

Happy HUMP! Day!

Posted by on Thu, Nov 3, 2011 at 12:50 PM

It's opening day of HUMP! Seattle. Did you know rush tickets will be available for all sold-out screenings? A handful of tickets will be released 15 minutes before each show time, on a first come first serve basis. $25 per ticket at the door.

If you're trying to go with a group of friends, but didn't have a ticket—this is your chance. RUSH!

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Lunchtime Quickie: The Dry Hump Versus Stranger HUMP!

Posted by on Wed, Nov 2, 2011 at 12:30 PM

There's still HUMP! tickets available! Do you have yours? GET IN THERE!

Showtimes with tickets available:
Thursday, 11/3, 4 pm
Friday, 11/4, 4 pm
Friday, 11/11, midnight
Saturday, 11/12, midnight

Friday, October 21, 2011

Get Your HUMP! Tickets!

Posted by on Fri, Oct 21, 2011 at 4:01 PM

Did you get your tickets to HUMP! yet? C'mon, buy two, 'cause you know you wanna bring a date. There's midnight shows available at the Capitol Hill and Fremont Rudy's Barbershop locations, and also online: The Festival is right around the corner, 11/4 and 11/5 at On The Boards, then at the Uptown Theater on 11/11 and 11/12.

Don't miss it! Zoinks, Shaggy!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Zombie on Zombie?

Posted by on Tue, Oct 18, 2011 at 11:34 AM

Saturday's Wall Street Journal asks...


Where are you going to find zombie-on-zombie sex scenes? At HUMP! We've had zombie porn at previous HUMP!s but this year we have the single best five minutes of zombie porn that I've ever seen. And that's saying something. Get your HUMP tickets here!

Monday, October 17, 2011

Occupy HUMP!

Posted by on Mon, Oct 17, 2011 at 2:45 PM

Do you have your HUMP! tickets yet? There's still tickets available, but they're going FAST. Don't snooze and lose! Tickets, here at, and tickets for the midnight screenings are available at Rudy's Barbershops. God bless America triple-X!

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

HUMP! Submission Deadline This Friday!

Posted by on Tue, Oct 4, 2011 at 11:49 AM


You know what this is? Besides being the longest line of urinals that I've ever seen, of course? (Greetings from Cornell University!) it's also an awesome location for a HUMP! video. Think of the porn plots that could begin... and end... and begin all over again... in a space like this...

The deadline for HUMP! submission is this Friday, October 7, but it's not too late to make a video. One of last year's HUMP! winners—determined, as always, by audience ballot—was shot the night before the deadline. Details on submitting a video here! Tickets for sale here!

Monday, October 3, 2011

Shows Are Selling Out Fast

Posted by on Mon, Oct 3, 2011 at 10:38 AM


Every year people wait to buy tickets to HUMP!—newbies, folks who haven't been before, folks who don't know better—only to find that all the shows are sold out. We've added more shows and we've added a second weekend, but three screenings are already sold out and three are on the verge of selling out. Don't delay—get your HUMP! tickets now!

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Friday, September 30, 2011

HUMP! More Tickets On Sale Saturday at 10 am! Don't Sleep!

Posted by on Fri, Sep 30, 2011 at 3:33 PM

So tickets for HUMP!—the midnight screenings—are on sale NOW at all Seattle Rudy's locations. Tomorrow morning, tickets go on sale online! 10 am! Right here!

Better get a ticket, or you'll be stuck home watching A Wet Dream On Elm Street, by yourself, for the 19th time. Actually this video makes me mad that I didn't think of it first. I mean, look at the dildo glove. LOOK AT IT!

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Don't Forget! HUMP! Tickets Go On Sale Tonight!

Posted by on Wed, Sep 28, 2011 at 5:39 PM

TONIGHT at 9 pm—all midnight shows to both Seattle weekends are on sale at the Capitol Hill Rudy's Barbershop, with an awesome party up the street at the Cha Cha Lounge with $2 drink specials with your Hump ticket!

TOMORROW at 9 am—all remaining midnight tickets will be on sale at ALL SEATTLE RUDY'S LOCATIONS.

SATURDAY at 10 am—all other shows (not midnight shows) will be available online at Tickets are $23 plus fees! 2 weekends! (11/3-5) (11/11-11/12)

Get your tickets so you're not left:

Lunchtime Quickie: If You Watch Only One Internet Video Today, Let It Be This One (NSFW)

Posted by on Wed, Sep 28, 2011 at 11:59 AM

Loner boner! Also, have you made your HUMP! film yet? It's almost time! And tickets go on sale today!

video h/t to Matt Hickey

Glazed Donuts and Yellow Bananas

Posted by on Wed, Sep 28, 2011 at 11:29 AM


A reader took this picture and sent it along to me... some sort of comment on mixed up American dietary priorities... or food deserts... or something. But all I thought when I looked at it was, "This would be a great establishing shot for a HUMP! video!"

HUMP! is coming! Ticket info here! Submission details here! The deadline for HUMP! submission is October 7 and, yeah, that's coming up fast. But it's not too late to start! One of last year's winners was filmed the night before last year's HUMP! deadline. So there's no time like the present! And we can finagle the odd deadline extension for the odd filmmaker working on the odd HUMP! film—just ask before October 7, okay? And have we mentioned the prizes lately?

· Best Humor: $1,000 First Prize, $500 First Runner-Up Prize
· Best Sex: $1,000 First Prize, $500 First Runner-Up Prize
· Best Kink: $1,000 First Prize, $500 First Runner-Up Prize
· Best in Show: $4,000 Grand Prize

We've already gotten a few films in and I'm excited about sitting down and watching all of this year's submissions. HUMP!, for those who haven't been to HUMP or participated before, is a magical event and for two days every year On the Boards is the happiest/horniest place on earth. Do come!

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Buy Hump! Tickets TOMORROW!

Posted by on Tue, Sep 27, 2011 at 4:09 PM

  • Jake Clifford
When to see Hump!:

· November 3rd-5th at On the Boards!
· November 11th-12th at SIFF Cinema at the Uptown!
· Portland ticket info is coming soon!

When to buy your tickets:

· Wednesday, September 28th at 9 pm MIDNIGHT SHOWS ONLY go on sale at the Capitol Hill Rudy's, with a party at the Cha Cha afterwards.
· Thursday, September 29th at 9 am MIDNIGHT SHOWS ONLY are available at all Rudy's locations.
· Saturday, October 1st at 10 am all other tickets available to purchase online at

How much the tickets cost:

· $23 (plus fees)!


Happy Anniversary to Mr. & Mrs. Fnarf

Posted by on Tue, Sep 27, 2011 at 1:07 PM

Then & Now
  • Then & Now

Ain't love grand? Congrats you two. All of your friends & frenemies at Slog wish you many, many more happy years together.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Hump! Tickets Go on Sale This Week!

Posted by on Mon, Sep 26, 2011 at 3:30 PM

Big news in the Hump! department!

Due to overwhelming demand, a second weekend of Seattle Hump! screenings have been added. This year, you have your choice of watching the Northwest's only amateur and locally produced porn festival at either On The Boards or the newly restored Uptown Cinema. Tickets for all showtimes, listed below, will be available on Saturday, October 1st, at 10 am at

Can't wait until October? Starting this Wednesday, you can buy your tickets for all midnight shows at participating Rudy's Barbershop locations. There will be a ticket sale party at the Capitol Hill location (614 E Pine St) on Wednesday September 28th from 9 pm-11 pm. Anyone who buys a Hump ticket during that time can go up the street to the Cha Cha Lounge for $2 drink specials all night. Whatever tickets don't sell that night will be available at all Rudy's Barbershop locations.

Please note: Tickets on sale at Rudy's are for the MIDNIGHT SHOWS ONLY. All other showtimes will be available online starting at 10 am on Saturday, October 1st.

A complete list of Hump! showtimes are after the jump. For more information—or if you want to learn how you can submit your very own video to the contest—visit

Continue reading »

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

It's Hump Day! Make a Parody Porn!

Posted by on Wed, Sep 21, 2011 at 6:15 PM

Hey! Have you started filming your Stranger Hump film yet? Hurry now, the deadline is October 7th. You can find all the info you need right here.

Also, if you're stuck on a concept, remember you can parody anything! ANYTHING!** I mean, look at this SFW Lady Gaga promo. I would watch this Hustler video—especially if Gaga and Beyonce do it (and you know they do).

**See also Simpsons, Flintstones, and Avatar.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

It's Hump Day! Did You Know Lars Von Trier Is Making a Porno?

Posted by on Wed, Sep 14, 2011 at 3:07 PM

Hey! Have you started filming your Stranger Hump film yet? C'mon now, the deadline is October 7th. You can find all the info you need right here. Hey, if Lars Von Trier can do it so can you!**

“If you take a woman of 50 or 60 who has been sexually active, they will talk for hours. This is fantastic, it's a pleasure and I smile all the way, and that's why I want to extend the research time. You have no idea how dirty the female mind is."—Lars Von Trier, XBIZ News Report. More HERE.

**I'm sure you will do a better job. Trier said he wanted "to do a movie that includes “very, very unpleasant sex,” but the remark was overshadowed by his tongue-in-cheek comment about sympathizing with Hitler".

Tuesday, September 6, 2011



Friday, August 12, 2011



Wednesday, May 18, 2011



Friday, May 13, 2011



Wednesday, May 11, 2011



Porn Soundtracks, 101

Posted by at 1:41 PM in

Wednesday, April 27, 2011



Tuesday, April 26, 2011



Monday, April 25, 2011



Friday, November 19, 2010



The 2010 HUMP! Awards

Posted by at 3:40 PM in

Wednesday, November 17, 2010



Monday, November 8, 2010



Wednesday, October 27, 2010



Monday, October 18, 2010



HUMP! Tickets

Posted by at 6:08 PM in



Saturday, October 16, 2010



Wednesday, October 13, 2010



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