A reader took this picture and sent it along to me... some sort of comment on mixed up American dietary priorities... or food deserts... or something. But all I thought when I looked at it was, "This would be a great establishing shot for a HUMP! video!"

HUMP! is coming! Ticket info here! Submission details here! The deadline for HUMP! submission is October 7 and, yeah, that's coming up fast. But it's not too late to start! One of last year's winners was filmed the night before last year's HUMP! deadline. So there's no time like the present! And we can finagle the odd deadline extension for the odd filmmaker working on the odd HUMP! film—just ask before October 7, okay? And have we mentioned the prizes lately?

· Best Humor: $1,000 First Prize, $500 First Runner-Up Prize
· Best Sex: $1,000 First Prize, $500 First Runner-Up Prize
· Best Kink: $1,000 First Prize, $500 First Runner-Up Prize
· Best in Show: $4,000 Grand Prize

We've already gotten a few films in and I'm excited about sitting down and watching all of this year's submissions. HUMP!, for those who haven't been to HUMP or participated before, is a magical event and for two days every year On the Boards is the happiest/horniest place on earth. Do come!

• Jake Clifford

· November 3rd-5th at On the Boards!
· November 11th-12th at SIFF Cinema at the Uptown!
· Portland ticket info is coming soon!

When to buy your tickets:

· Wednesday, September 28th at 9 pm MIDNIGHT SHOWS ONLY go on sale at the Capitol Hill Rudy's, with a party at the Cha Cha afterwards.
· Thursday, September 29th at 9 am MIDNIGHT SHOWS ONLY are available at all Rudy's locations.
· Saturday, October 1st at 10 am all other tickets available to purchase online at www.humpseattle.com

How much the tickets cost:

· $23 (plus fees)!

HUMP!

Big news in the Hump! department!

Due to overwhelming demand, a second weekend of Seattle Hump! screenings have been added. This year, you have your choice of watching the Northwest's only amateur and locally produced porn festival at either On The Boards or the newly restored Uptown Cinema. Tickets for all showtimes, listed below, will be available on Saturday, October 1st, at 10 am at www.humpseattle.com.

Can't wait until October? Starting this Wednesday, you can buy your tickets for all midnight shows at participating Rudy's Barbershop locations. There will be a ticket sale party at the Capitol Hill location (614 E Pine St) on Wednesday September 28th from 9 pm-11 pm. Anyone who buys a Hump ticket during that time can go up the street to the Cha Cha Lounge for $2 drink specials all night. Whatever tickets don't sell that night will be available at all Rudy's Barbershop locations.

Please note: Tickets on sale at Rudy's are for the MIDNIGHT SHOWS ONLY. All other showtimes will be available online starting at 10 am on Saturday, October 1st.

A complete list of Hump! showtimes are after the jump. For more information—or if you want to learn how you can submit your very own video to the contest—visit www.humpseattle.com.

Continue reading »

Last year—or maybe it was the year before last—one of the winning HUMP! entries was shot on an iPhone the day before the deadline. So four weeks is plenty of time for you to shoot a HUMP! video and make your dreams of being a porn star for a weekend—not the rest of your life—come true at this year's HUMP! And HUMP! could make you money too: The Grand Prize ("Best in Show") is $4,000,, and there are $1,000 prizes for "Best Kink," "Best Sex," and "Best Humor." More details here!

Get HUMPing, HUMPers! Details here!

Posted yesterday, moved up because HUMP!

HUMP!—the Pacific Northwest's biggest, best, and only amateur and/or locally-produced porn festival—returns this fall!

We previously announced the three extra-credit props for HUMP! 7 here on Slog—Super Soakers, duct tape, and the number 7—but there was a little something we held back for the official call-for-submissions in this week's Stranger: HUMP!'s new prize packages. We've upped the runners-up purses in the Humor, Kink, and Sex categories from $250 to $500. And we've upped the "Best in Show" grand prize from $2,000 to $4,000. There will be seven HUMP! Awards this year:

· Best Humor: $1,000 First Prize, $500 First Runner-Up Prize
· Best Sex: $1,000 First Prize, $500 First Runner-Up Prize
· Best Kink: $1,000 First Prize, $500 First Runner-Up Prize
· Best in Show: $4,000 Grand Prize

The winners of HUMP! Awards are—as they have always been—determined by audience ballot. It's possible that a film could win more than one award: filmmakers who created a submission that was kinky and funny could take home Best Kink and Best Humor and $2,000. It's even possible that a single film—a hilariously kinky film with a scorching-hot sex scene that audiences adore—could sweep the HUMP!™ Awards and win Best Kink, Best Sex, Best Humor, Best in Show and take home $7,000.

HUMP! 7 submissions are due by October 7ish. HUMP! 7 goes down November 3rd, 4th and 5th at On the Boards in Seattle and November 17th, 18th and 19th at Cinema 21 in Portland.

Full HUMP! 7 info here.

It's on, Seattle. Get HUMPing! Details here.

They're this year's extra-credit *props the seventh annual HUMP! More details about HUMP! 7 coming soon!

* Filmmakers don't have to use the props to get their films into HUMP!. It's just a way for HUMP! filmmakers to let HUMP! audiences know they made their porns just for HUMP!, just for them, and it's always fun to see how HUMP! filmmakers subtly work the extra-credit props into their porns. Subtle like Super Soakers. And for the record: duct tape was Kelly O's idea, not mine.

Nuns stickin' it, twins doin' it, clowns jerkin' it: HUMP! 2010 had a little something for, and a little something from, everyone. But if you didn't make it to one of the twenty sold-out screenings at Seattle's On the Boards or Portland's Cinema 21 earlier this month—if you didn't beg, borrow, steal, or purchase one of the hottest tickets in town—you'll never know what you missed by missing HUMP! That's because HUMP! makes it possible for people to be porn stars for a couple of weekends and not the rest of their lives. Which is why there are no cell phones allowed at HUMP!, no HUMP! DVD collections, and no HUMP! films are posted online (well, not by us—some individual filmmaker have released their films online). And it's why we destroy all of our copies of the films after the last screening.

There's just only one thing left for us to do after our copies of the films have been destroyed at final HUMP! screening: count the votes. There are four prize categories this year—Best Humor, Best Kink, Best Sex, and Best In Show—and the winners are determined by audience ballot. And the winners of this year's HUMP! Awards are...

Best Humor:
Winner: America's Funniest Hump Videos ($1000)
First Runner Up: Sink ($250)

Best Kink:
Winner: The Nun and the Bum Get Some ($1000)
First Runner Up: Playing With Fire ($250)

Best Sex:
Winner: Ad Man ($1000)
First Runner Up: How to Bake Frosted Muffins ($250)

Best In Show:
Grand Prize Winner: Hi, I'm Pon ($2500)

Congrats to everyone who entered HUMP!—everyone who entered a film and everyone who entered a screening—and we hope to see you all at HUMP! 2011! Watch www.thestranger.com/hump for details about next year's festival!

We should have full HUMP! results by Friday and HUMP! winners will be announced first right here on Slog!

You're expecting! That's wonderful! Congrats! You know what we weren't expecting? We weren't expecting you to leave your baby's ultrasound pictures sitting on the floor under your seat at On The Boards this weekend after a HUMP! screening. If you want your ultrasound pictures back... email us.

Hey, remember when so many people were trying to buy HUMP! tickets this morning (lesson: people love porn) that all of The Stranger's mighty web servers (and then some) fell right over? That sucked.

Things are ship-shape now, and although some screenings have sold out, there are still some tickets left.

Go get 'em!

You can also see HUMP! (the same exact show) in Portland (Oregon) on 11/12 & 13. Get those PDX tickets here!

Thanks for your patience! HUMP! fans are patient, right?

UPDATE: "Is that her butt? I think so."

UPDATE 2: "Serious plot holes."

UPDATE 3: "This would be a better porn with, you know, sex. And banjo? In porn?"

UPDATE 4: "I'm bummed out that they're not really amputees."

UPDATE 5: "Are those stripper-pole bruises?"

UPDATE 6: "So that's what a crucifix sounds like."

UPDATE 7: "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH MY GOD. Holy shit! My God! Christ... Okay, that one's in."

UPDATE 8: “Delivery boy porn—but it's coffee instead of pizza. How Northwest!"

UPDATE 9: "This isn't the ass hook one."

UPDATE 10: "I'm sorry, but HUMP! is better than this."

UPDATE 11: "Yakety Sax doesn't usually go on this long."

UPDATE 12: "I think they're—they're germs, living in someone's anus, and they're eating poop and it turns them on."

UPDATE 13: "For the record: I do not have a boner."

The HUMP jury has reconvened.

UPDATE 14: "Tired of strap-on dildos, tired of strap-on dildos, tired of strap-on dildos. Balls!"

UPDATE 15: "I keep getting raped, you guys!"

UPDATE 16: "This one smells weird."

UPDATE 17: "Wanna unsee that."

UPDATE 18: "The Atari part should be in it because he puts it up his butt later."

UPDATE 19: "Triple rape rainbow—what does it mean?"

UPDATE 20: "The egg pop was pretty great."

The Stranger wants you to HUMP! Seattle City Light wants you to Slay Your Energy Vampires:

Forks isn’t the only place in Washington that knows how to handle vampires! In fact, just in time for Halloween, Seattle City Light is holding a “Slay Your Energy Vampires” video contest. The utility invites residential customers to upload videos of up to 90 seconds in length to show the energy vampires in their homes and what they’re doing to get rid of them.

“We hope this contest will be a fun way for people to learn how they can save money by eliminating wasted energy,” Superintendent Jorge Carrasco said. “I’m looking forward to watching their videos and perhaps picking up a few tips, too.”

Videos will be accepted throughout September. All entrants will receive an energy efficient compact fluorescent light bulb. Public voting will determine 10 finalists. The grand prize winner, as well as second and third finishers will be picked by judges from the finalists and announced on or about Oct. 25. Creativity will be rewarded.

Seattle City Light's call-for-entries is here. HUMP's call for entries is here. And now here's the Seattle City Light/HUMP! challenge: Produce a 90 second video that can be entered in HUMP! and Seattle City Light's "Energy Vampire" contest. You can do it: HUMP! videos don't have to be hardcore and there's nothing in Seattle City Light's rules barring submissions about the electricity-sucking sex toys in your nightstand or the electricity-inflicting sex toys in your dungeon! And if you manage to get your video into both contests—you can do it!—Slog's flying monkeys will vote your video up at Seattle City Light's contest website and you could win... well, you could win some pretty lame prizes. But your video could wind up winning some pretty amazing prizes at HUMP!:

Best Humor: $1,000 First Prize, $250 First Runner-Up Prize
Best Sex: $1,000 First Prize, $250 First Runner-Up Prize
Best Kink: $1,000 First Prize, $250 First Runner-Up Prize
Best in Show: $2,500 Grand Prize

Like Superintendent Jorge Carrasco, I'm looking forward to watching your videos and picking up a few tips!