Why not make some porn?

We got everyone in to HUMP! who rushed for tickets on Thursday and Friday nights! But something funny always happens on the last night of HUMP!: people realize that this is their last chance to see HUMP! and rush the last two screenings and... we don't get everyone in. Your best bet, if you want to get last-minute rush tickets for HUMP!, is to get down here for the 6 PM or 8 PM shows. Don't wait for the 10 PM or Midnight shows. We almost always have to turn people away from the last two screenings.

And remember: we destroy our only copies of the films after the final screening. If you miss HUMP!, you'll never see the films that were made for HUMP!—unless the filmmakers decide to release them, of course, like PasteyBoy did. His E.T. 2: Dark Territory—after the jump and NSFW—was an audience favorite a few years ago. You can see it more of PasteyBoy's stuff over at Funny Or Die. But most of the films screened at HUMP! are never released online or anywhere else. If you wanna see HUMP!—all of HUMP!—you gotta get down to HUMP! tonight!

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All of this weekend's HUMP! screenings at On The Boards are sold out—but there are usually about 20-30 rush seats available at each screening thanks to no-shows and returns. Tonight's screenings are at 6, 8, and 10 PM, and the earlier screenings are generally better for rushers. So.. if you wanna see HUMP!, get your ass down to On The Boards in the next half hour! (The video above is a HUMP! submission that didn't make it into the festival but the filmmaker gave us the okay to put it up on YouTube and share it with the world. Signed releases for the models are on file at our offices.)

I was supposed to make the treck down to Olympia for the HUMP! screening tonight at the Capitol Theater. But I'm not going to be able to make it. Sorry about that, Oly. Lindy West is covering for me. Lindy will be hosting the screening and reading the rules—no phones in hands! no assholes in seats!—in my place. (Thanks, Lindy!) Tonight's screening is at 9:30 PM and there were twelve tickets still available last time I checked. (All remaining Seattle screenings are completely sold out!) Join Lindy and the whole Stranger crew at a HUMP! prefunc at Le Voyeur—food! tequila specials!—from 7-9PM.

Sorry I can't make it, Oly. Next year!

Get here early! Tonight's midnight screening of HUMP! is one of the few Seattle screenings that isn't completely sold out. We have about 20 tickets left for the midnight show—so if you want to see HUMP!, get down here! And there's a HUMP! Lounge here at the Uptown, where HUMP!ers can relax and knock back margaritas, beers, and tequila shots before the show. So get here early, flirt, mingle, and get your shots—because you need your shots before HUMP!

But I thought the world should see it.

Ladybugs do it in the bushes.

There are only a handful of tickets available for the midnight showing of HUMP! tonight at SIFF Cinema Uptown. And, yes, we posted this with the permission of the filmmaker—but only after he got us signed releases from his actors.

Some tickets are still available for HUMP's opening night at SIFF Cinema Uptown TONIGHT! I'll be at the Uptown to introduce both shows tonight—at 7 and 9:30 PM—and I'll be at all of tomorrow night's HUMP! screenings before heading to Portland for a weekend's worth of HUMP!ing. Every single screening of HUMP! in Portland is completely sold out. Which is why they're seeing stuff like this on Craigslist down in Portland:

There are a lot more HUMP! screenings scheduled in Seattle—this weekend and next weekend (most of next weekend's Seattle screenings are already sold out)—so you don't have to suck anyone off to get a ticket in Seattle. All you have to do is go here and buy a ticket while you still can!

Overheard in the HUMP! Jury Room after the jump...

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The names of the films that made it into HUMP! after the JUMP! Tickets for HUMP! on sale now!

Thanks to everyone who made a film for HUMP! We had more submissions this year than ever before and everyone on the HUMP! jury wishes we could've included more films in the festival. But we trust that everyone had fun making their HUMP! videos—it sure looks like everyone was having fun—and we hope that everyone will be inspired to submit again next year.

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"Lovely kitchen—but white back-splashes are so hard to keep clean."

"Is this HUMP!'s first bris?"

"It's gotta be hard to pee on a trampoline."

"No, it's really easy! It's the worst thing about jumping on a trampoline."

"It looks like she's teaching her vagina sign language."

"Sarah McLachlan needs to show up at the end of this one with a really sad dog."

"Who smells ice-cream?!"

"I'm glad they found each other."

"The swastika is a boner killer."

"This is the bunny gang rape scenario they cut from No Country For Old Men."

"Luckily the female body has ways of shutting bunny rape down."

FILMMAKERS: We know you're anxious to find out if your film made it into HUMP! The jury met this weekend... and it's meeting again today at noon. We got more submissions this year than we've ever had before and we need a little more time to review the films, watch some a second time, and talk about what's in and what's out. We're sorry about the delay but it's because we want every film to get a fair hearing, viewing, and shot. We will make the announcement today at 3 PM. Hold tight!

PORN FANS AND CINEASTES: You are not gonna wanna miss this year's HUMP! Get your tickets now!

We're a little overwhelmed by the number of submissions for this year's HUMP! (Maybe it's the new $5000 cash prize for "Best In Show"?) The HUMP! Jury meets this weekend to watch the films and select the best for the fest, and HUMP! jurists are preparing for a long weekend. (We've cleared our schedules and stocked up on paper towels, Xanax, and Dramamine.) This is a HUMP! you're not going to want to miss! We've scheduled more shows than ever in Seattle and Portland and we're having a screening in Olympia this year. Tickets are on sale now and screenings are already selling out. Get your tickets to HUMP! while you still can!

Tickets to HUMP! are nearly sold out for the Saturday night shows. Don't be left out in the cold, harsh, amateur-pornless void. Buy your tickets here!

• Kelly O

The announced deadline for HUMP! submission was this Friday, October 5. But the HUMP! jury can't convene—we can't hold our porny conclave—until October 15. (My crazy travel schedule is to blame.) So we're pushing the deadline back a week to give HUMP!ers a little extra time to tweak their videos. The deadline for submissions is now Friday, October 12. And if you haven't started your HUMP! film yet... it's not too late. One of last year's winning films was shot the day before the deadline. Get HUMPing! All submission details are here.

It's not too late to register for the FREE FREE FREE workshop tonight at Babeland. It starts at 7 pm. The smarty pants Babeland sexperts, and yours truly, will help you with ideas and techniques to make your film a reality.

Register here! And read more about HUMP! 2012 (including this year's extra credit props) right here at thestranger.com/hump.

You can't win if you don't enter! This year's cash prizes are:

Best Humor: $1,000 First Prize, $250 First Runner-Up
Best Sex: $1,000 First Prize, $250 First Runner-Up
Best Kink: $1,000 First Prize, $250 First Runner-Up
Best in Show: $5,000 Grand Prize

• Jake clifford

...and wanted to ask any HUMP! fans lurking on Slog if there's anything in particular they'd like to see this year. Last year's "EXTRA CREDIT" props included duct tape, Super Soakers, and the number 7. Anything you wanna see this year, HUMPers? Writing this thing up now, so... need to hear from you ASAP.

EDS. UPDATE: Dates, submission guidelines, and all that for HUMP! 2012 are now over here!

The funniest movie at last year's Hump! is now enjoying its YouTube premiere. For a good time, go watch it again—or for the first time! It's NSFACPW (Not Safe for Anti-Centaur Porn Workplaces).

Related: The categories, deadline, and extra-credit details about the 2012 Hump will be announced in the next issue of The Stranger. If you want to win thousands of dollars this year at Seattle's only Pulitzer Prize-winning porn festival, you need to get cracking.

We announced the winners of this year's HUMP! Awards last night. Find out who won here.

HUMP! by the numbers: two cities, 23 films, 29 packed screenings, 12,000 happy, horny audience members, and 12,000 ballots to sort and count. The Pacific Northwest’s biggest, best, and only amateur porn festival has come and gone. Ask anyone who was lucky enough to get a ticket: HUMP! is a truly magical event, a joyful celebration of sexual diversity. But HUMP! couldn’t happen without the performers and directors who make the films! And so, without further ado, it is our pleasure to announce this winners of this year's HUMP! Awards.

BEST HUMOR
Runner-Up ($500 prize): "Go Fuck Yourself"
First Place ($1000 prize): "Mythical Proportions"

BEST KINK
Runner-Up ($500 prize): "Don’t Call Me Missy"
First Place ($1000 prize): "Knife"

BEST SEX
Runner-Up ($500 prize): "The One Where the Girl is Pushed Against the Door"
First Place ($1000 prize): "Music for 2 Humans"

And...

BEST IN SHOW
The coveted Palme d'HUMP!—and the $4000 Grand Prize—goes to...
"Teenage Dream"

Congratulations to everyone who participated in HUMP! 2011. You're all winners in our book. We hope you had as much fun making your entries as we had watching them. And if you think you can do better... start working now on your five-minute flick for HUMP! 2012. Details coming this Spring!

Greta Christina posts a thoughtful review/reflection on HUMP!:

I loved the polymorphously perverse variety of it: the mix of straight and gay and lesbian and bi and “who the fuck knows what that was”; the mix of kink and vanilla and many flavors in between; the mix of fucked-up and hilarious and touchingly sweet. I loved that some of the most kinky and fucked-up stuff was also some of the sweetest. And even though it makes me a little sad that most of these films are shown only for the HUMP festival and will never be seen again (all copies of the films are returned to the filmmakers or destroyed after the festival—one of their mottos is “porn star for a weekend—not for life”), there’s also something about this that I liked. It made me feel more present, more in the moment, made me pay closer attention and really be here now. (Be there then. Whatever.)

But I think the thing I liked best about the HUMP! festival was… well, the very fact that it was happening. The fact that several hundred people were willing—not just willing but happy, not just happy but excited and delighted and eager—to sit in a public space with several hundred strangers, and watch explicit, often wildly freaky sex videos. (At multiple shows per night. Most of which sold out almost immediately.)

There was a shameless quality to the event. And I don’t mean “shameless” as in “brazen” or “audacious” or “in-your-face.” I mean, quite literally, without shame. The audience was excited, delighted, surprised, shocked, turned on, grossed out, touched, laughing uproariously, on the edge of their seats, and more. But I was in that theater for an hour and a half—longer, if you count hanging out in the lobby waiting to get in—and I didn’t get a single whiff of shame. A little giggly nervous excitement was the closest I saw to anything even resembling shame. And it was a privilege and a delight to see, and to be part of. Like Lily Tomlin said in Jane Wagner’s The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe: “The play was soup—the audience was art.”

Go read the whole thing. (Thanks for the heads up, Blaghag.)