Should it even be legal to sell things like this? If kids can't buy cigarettes and alcohol, then surely they should be restricted from just buying up all the Chocolate Oreo® Shakes they can eat, no?

Men's Health has awarded this shake the title of Unhealthiest Drink in America.

Is this the worst drink on the planet? All signs point to yes. First off, it has an ingredient list that reads like an organic chemistry final. Those 70-plus ingredients conspire to pack this shake with more sugar than 29 Fudgsicles, as much fat as a stick and a half of butter, and more calories than 48 actual Oreos. Oh, it also has 3 days’ worth of saturated fat and, most bizarre of all, as much salt as you’ll find in 9 bags of Lay’s Classic potato chips.

But look at all that Calcium! And take heart, for it contains no crustaceans.

Oh well, I'm off to Molly Moons. Or Old-School Custard, maybe? Oh, there's that new Bluebird place, too! And soon, Trophy Cupcakes Cupcake Royale. Maybe I'll enter that giant burger contest. My arteries runneth over.

via @cabel and @TheSquare

As a parent... ahem... I don't have a problem with birthday cupcakes in classrooms or the occasional class pizza party. But...

Cupcakes and/or pizzas are treat enough. What drives me up the wall are the inevitable bottles of soda pop and/or boxes of brightly colored corn syrup (a.k.a. "juice") that get served with the cupcakes and/or pizzas. The kids are excited about the pizza and/or cupcakes. They won't miss the pop and/or "juice" if it isn't set out in front of them. It's possible to serve kids non-fat milk or even—oh, the humanity!—water with cupcakes and/or pizza. They won't riot.

It's official, after watching this instructional video, I now hate carrots. Entitled "The Carrot Highway" it contains four things that have ruined carrots for everyone forever: 1) Balding/mulleted dude in a hippie vest rapping, 2) unhappy children, 3) Cassidy, who is obviously super hot, but hides it underneath the bulkiest sweatshirt ever (otherwise I would totally do her), and 4) Poor Nigel! (Who wears even a baggier sweatshirt! What the fuck is going on here with the sweatshirts?? Ack! Ack! I'm tasting carrots! Pa-tooie!!)

Tips to Everything is Terrible!