Also, bearded Driscoll: 80 percent less shiny!
(Thank you, Right Wing Watch.)
When Samuel K. McDonough allegedly stole the Victoria Clipper this past Sunday, he was cranking one of two possible songs on the ship’s stereo. (The song has not been confirmed, because I’m completely making this up. Roll with me.) What song do you think it was? And hey, theoretically speaking, if you’re going to steal a boat to go to West Seattle, it might as well be the Victoria Clipper.
Slog tipper my mom just directed my attention to this prize of an AP tweet:
BREAKING: Embattled Toronto mayor says he smoked crack 'probably a year ago' during a 'drunken stupor.'— The Associated Press (@AP) November 5, 2013
Funny, if you replaced "smoked crack" with "fucked your dad" and "a year ago" with "30" the mayor of Toronto could very well be re-telling the story of my conception.
HAHAHA, jk mom!
Have you seen this ad campaign from UN Women? It uses real Google searches—ones where when you type in words and it fills in popular searches to save you time—to demonstrate that sexism's nowhere near dead. (This one's for you, person who complains that feminists are whining about nothing!) Hey, what are people searching for that begins with "Women shouldn't..."? According to the ads, they often finish that sentence with "have rights," "vote," or "work."
The ad campaign is really effective messaging, especially with those big, beautiful photographs, and their goal is just to start conversations, to make the case that there's more work to to be done when it comes to fighting sexism globally. But surely they must've been edited, I thought. And doesn't Google know you a little bit as a user, maybe take your search history or your profile into account? I mean, shit, if I type "Women should..." into Google, if it has any computer-brain at all, it should fill in "destroy the patriarchy," "make more art out of menstrual blood," or something like that.
Nope. I get this:
As if that's not enough, try looking at results for both men and women. Cienna was looking at this same story, and yelled across the office: "Jesus, try it with 'men.'" So I did.
Coming soon on Beck's imaginary network The Blaze....
Speaking of former-linebacker Hutcherson, I can't wait to watch this:
Opening in cinemas today, Thanks for Sharing stars Mark Ruffalo as a recovering sex addict who navigates a romance with a character played by Gwyneth Paltrow. (It also stars Book of Mormon star Josh Gad and pop superstar Alecia "P!nk" Moore, and according to the Stranger review by Alison Hallett, it's pretty good.)
But I'm not here to discuss the qualities the film. What I'm fixed on is a statement made in the comments of the Stranger review:
I get fed up with movies that show the average looking guy with the hot girl. Paltrow in real life would never date an average or below average looking guy like Ruffalo. The hot girl / average guy and in some cases much older guy matchup is propaganda perpetuated by the primarily male establishment that runs Hollywood.. Most of the people that write and produce this crap want to portray the world in a way that favors them instead of how it really is. If you doubt that there is a bias ask yourself how often you see a movie with a stud leading man guy paired up with a plain girl.
The hot woman/shlub man combo is well documented (see the careers of Kevin James and Jim Belushi), but numerous other commenters jumped in to call bull on using Ruffalo/Paltrow as an example of this trend:
To which our original complainer responded:
to ruffalo lovers - look at the guys that dated paltrow none of them look like ruffalo, lets be more specific paltrow is hot in the stereotypical way which means she would not date a guy that looks like ruffalo, you are welcome to think that ruffalo is hot , but someone that looks like paltrow would not date him, for one thing he is too short, which is fine for more open minded types but not for paltrow look alikes, thus my point - hollywood likes to stick not stereotypically hot guys with stereotypically hot girls but not the other way around
Of course someone jumped in to point out that Paltrow's husband Chris Martin ain't no great shakes, but now I put the question to you:
Don't know why some people are so shocked I'm Pro-choice. The first line of We're Not Gonna Take It is "We've got the right to choose!"— Dee Snider (@deesnider) July 12, 2013
Tulsa, Oklahoma, deserves to host the 2024 Olympics because, you know, Tulsa is the "real" America:
Tulsa, its boosters argue, offers something that big-ticket American rivals like Los Angeles, Boston and Dallas can only dream of—the vast frontier of America. This part of the country produced Woody Guthrie and Jim Thorpe. Neon signs still glow along Route 66. J.... “The larger cities aren’t truly representative of what the real America is,” said Jennifer Jones of the Tulsa 2024 bid committee. “The real America is the midsize cities, and we want people to see America.”
And what do some people in the "real America" want to see?
A Tulsa man who was arrested on allegations that he watched a woman and her 7-year-old daughter from underneath a White Water Park toilet near the Keystone Dam could face felony charges. Kenneth Webster Enlow, 52, was arrested about 5 p.m. Sunday after being found covered in human waste inside the holding tank beneath a permanent outhouse at the park, which is west of Sand Springs. The woman told sheriff’s deputies that she looked into the toilet and “saw the water move,” according to Enlow’s arrest report. “As she looked closer, she noticed that there was a man looking up at her,” the report states.
Lord knows we've got shit-covered perverts right here in unreal America. But I've never heard any of our shit-covered perverts describe America's small towns as less authentically American. (Shit-covered pervert story via Gawker.)
The idea that a woman's self-respect is the secret ingredient that turns a run-of-the-mill misogynist into a rapist is horseshit. Horseshit piled so high you couldn't scale it all in a day—a Mount Rainier–sized pile of horseshit. Women aren't the problem here. We don't need any more advice on how to avoid or ignore street harassment. If anything, what we deserve are a few good revenge tactics...
Not just rape threats—also threats of physical violence, fat-bashing, anti-gay slurs (um, Lindy's the most-not-lesbian person in America), pubic-hair hatred (?!), various other non-sequitors... it's really hard to comprehend all the bile and debasement and monkey poo being thrown Lindy's way for saying... wait, what'd she say again? Oh yeah, that guys who tell hacky, chauvinistic jokes about raping women are hacky chauvinists. That's all she said. Oh yeah, and that women who've been raped might be uncomfortable in crowds of people laughing about how hilarious rape is. CAN YOU BELIEVE HER?!!
(Nice piano, though!)
If you've been trapped in a glacier and are just joining us, read this and then read this and then watch this. If you ate too much lunch and would like to barf on yourself, check out the comments Lindy West gets on Jezebel or on Twitter day-in and day-out. I'm off to go unfollow a bunch of male comics on Twitter, but I leave you with a tweet from Lena Dunham:
Anyone who thinks @thelindywest is advocating censorship isn't using their ears. She is advocating an examination of the power of our words.— Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) June 4, 2013
It's things like this that make me proud to be of Irish descent. I think. The lede:
An Irish publican has been prosecuted after police found dozens of "nuns" drinking illegally, several hours past closing time on his premises.
Christy Walsh, who runs the bar in Listowel, County Kerry, has been fined a total of 700 euros (£605) after his pub was raided twice in one night.
He had helped to organise a charity event in the town last July, in which hundreds of people dressed up as nuns.
Washington State senator Jeanne Kohl-Welles (D-Seattle) has been taking heat for sponsoring a bill that would remove gender-specific language in state law. Critics say it's a waste of time. So in a newsletter today, she responds, pointing out that these right-wing blowhards would probably think her legislation was an excellent use of time if the tables were turned:
A bill of mine that passed out of the Senate unanimously this week, SB 5077, has drawn an unusual amount of attention in recent weeks. Talk radio personalities and others have asked why I would sponsor legislation to replace outdated gender-specific terms in state statutes with gender-neutral language when our state faces larger, more urgent challenges such as creating jobs and balancing the budget as we recover from recession.
Their argument is that I shouldn’t divert time or money from those urgent needs, and I agree; in fact, if my bill actually did that, I would not have introduced it at all. But the bill does nothing of the sort. The bill is drafted during the legislative interim and costs nothing, nor does it interfere with other tasks such as the major issues we tackles during the legislative session. My colleagues on both sides of the aisle and across the state agreed with me, voting unanimously to pass the bill out of the Senate this week.
Apart from that, some people have questioned the value of replacing traditional terms like “fisherman” with “fisher” or “gripman” with “grip operator.” But if society’s gender history were reversed, I wonder how many men today would feel comfortable being called a “firewoman,” “policewoman” or “fisherwoman.” Even if this is not a monumental issue to some, it is nevertheless observes basic principles of accuracy and respect that I think the vast majority of Washingtonians would agree on.
This legislation is nothing new. In 1983, legislation was passed to require that the Legislature use gender-neutral language in any bills it passes. SB 5077, which I sponsored at the request of the code reviser’s office, simply extends that practice to statutes written prior to 1983.
An early submission for the next installment of Loose Lips:
In his introduction to the lastest installment of the Night & Day film noir series at Central Cinema, host Brandon Ryan made repeated and somewhat lascivious reference to the "slutty femme fatales" we'd soon be seeing onscreen. Unfortunately, neither of the films Ryan was discussing—The Sweet Smell of Success and Fargo—contain slutty femme fatale characters, making him look thick-headed at best and casually misogynistic at worst. (Do your homework, kid, or the Night & Day series will become known for great movies preceded by unfun blather.)
In other news, Brendan Kiley says Brandon Ryan does a knockout job as an actor in A Behanding in Spokane, so that's good.
Finally! Two guys—Kevin Swanson and Dave Buehner, both of 'em conservative radio hosts—explain feminism.
The gist of their discussion, as reported by the invaluable RightWingWatch:
There are “two forms of feminism,” Buehner argued. There are “cute” feminists like Sarah Palin who will find jobs in the “marketplace” and “get themselves a husband” but will “never submit to the husband, in fact they will use their power probably to make their husband submit to them.” Then, there are the “ugly” feminists whose “lack of attractiveness has not given them access to power that they wanted in the marketplace.” These “attractively challenged” feminists will only find careers in academia and in government agencies, for instance, “you can run the EPA.”
What all these feminists have in common, Swanson argues, is that “all of them want to be free from the family” and together with “the homosexuals” are “destroying society.” Buehner speculates that in the future, feminism will be remembered as “a time in which women lost the love of their children” and “decided to become selfish, narcissistic, family-destroying whores.”
From this week's I, Anonymous:
When Superman is Clark Kent, sitting among his peers, does he say that "women are born weaker than men"? When Spider-Man is Peter Parker, does he look over at Mary Jane and announce to the folks around the table that "we gotta get outta here soon because I want to have sex and she needs to go to bed soon"? When Batman is Bruce Wayne, does he sit around with folks he's just met and boast about all the millionaires he knows? What I'm trying to ask here: Do superheroes historically practice misogyny and self-aggrandizement when the mask comes off? Also, if one intervenes in "crime" during the day and utters belittling, ignorant garbage after hours, does one really deserve the respect of one's peers?
Heroes don't wear masks and pepper-spray the shit out of citizens. Heroes are accountable and identifiable. Heroes use their words. They educate, inspire, organize, and revolutionize. They represent the oppressed, expose corruption, and create formulas for peace. Don't expect me to prostrate myself before your enormous ego....
Read the whole thing here.
If you want more celebrity bullshit posts, post 'em. And please note that the two Seahawks posts were by regular actual employees of The Stranger, and one of them was so disdainful as to actually constitute a Golden Globes post.
And the Seahawks game was more important: There's a Golden Globes every year. The Seahawks do not make the post-season every year.
...aka a "drunk uncle"? Well, tell me all about it! The holidays aren't the same without one!
What Daily Kos said:
Remember all those dire warnings that the hyper-macho military culture could never adjust to "Don't ask, Don't tell" repeal and relentless hate crimes against gays would jam everything up? Yeah. Maybe not so much. Now a military unit in Afghanistan has released this technicolor nightmare that will run in an endless loop in poor Tony Perkins' mind forever. It is apparently authentic. If this brings you a smile, joining Netroots for the Troops effort is a great way to return a smile.
That video would've kicked off an anti-gay witch hunt during the ban on gays in the military. But the nuts aren't obsessing about gays in the military anymore—because the post-DADT-repeal data is in and the haters were wrong. Now they're obsessing about gays in the dorms. (And, yeah, what young people in dorms want is... to hang out with folks from the Ruth Institute. Sounds like a party.)
There is nothing ridiculous about crying. Unless you enforce chauvinist bullshit on a level so deep it's biological.
Charles, you know I love you.
But just this once, how does it feel to be on the wrong side of history?
I see you softening over there at your desk—today, backing away from your historical stance of specifically calling out men on crying, and instead claiming that nobody should cry.
Good try, but I see it. I see what's going on.
Let it out.
My shoulder is right here.
....but that's mostly because people rarely send us obituaries to run. But then someone did, and here it is.
Name of Deceased: Rony Wiesel
Age : 51
Date of Death : 05/04/2012
Last Residence : Seattle Washington
Place of Birth : Toronto, Canada
Work History : Art Director and Writer/Editor at various papers
Education : Reed College - English Lit
Synagogue Affiliation : Seattle Kollel
Hobbies / Interests : Writer, Editor, Property Management and Real Estate
I believe it was Brendan who recently brought up the idea on Slog that a good obituary makes you wish you'd met the deceased. This is a good obituary.
The wonderfully articulate son of lesbian moms (and new author) chats with David Letterman about bullying and homophobia, and it's kind of amazing: Wahls is so naturally empathetic towards those who might disagree with him/his family, it gives Letterman a chance to come out swinging.
Also, I don't want to be one of those people who, like, survives life in a gulag and then remains forever and inordinately amazed by life outside the gulag—"Sandwich wrap? We didn't have that in the gulag!!!"—but as someone who grew up gay in Texas in the 1980s, I'd like to say that I never thought I'd live to see the day when the accomplished son of lesbian moms discusses homophobia on television with David Letterman. Good work, human progress.
Thank you, Towleroad.
A few hours ago on Broadway, a man in a Kangol cap, a track suit, and sunglasses was whistling across the street to a friend. He tucked his bottom lip beneath his incisors, one of which was gold, and emitted an uncommonly loud and elaborate whistle. The whistle had a high, smooth, oscillating pitch. It sounded like a sine wave or an unusually cheerful mourning dove.
"That's a hell of a whistle you've got there," I said as I passed.
"Thank you sir!" he boomed. "I swallowed a bird!" Then he gave me one of those wink/cheek-clicks that is often accompanied by that pointing gesture where you make like your finger is a gun and your thumb is the hammer.
But he didn't make that pointing gesture. Just the wink/cheek-click.
Toby Crittenden, Program Director of the Washington Bus, is one of a lucky few hundred non-Boeing employees picked to stand in an underground hangar at the Boeing factory while President Obama rubs exfoliated elbows with workers and shouts about jobs (spoiler alert: they're important!).
I asked Toby to text me breathless updates about his trip because I am incredibly nosy and he is incredibly obliging. Here's what he's noted so far:
"Presidential politics brings everybody out. This isn't your run-of-the-mill political hack crowd. Many different faces here. We're busing past giant airplane engines basking in the great outdoors... now we're in a giant tunnel under the Boeing plant. It looks like the set of a scifi movie—like Battlestar Galactica, minus the threat of human eradication, and soundtracked by serious smooth jazz jams. The energy in this tunnel is as tense as your average unarmed jawa in a tatooed bar (again, minus the threat of human eradication)."
For all you non Battlestar Galactica fans, here's what that looks like (BYOSmoothJazz):
Toby says the president has alighted from a Boeing plane and is preparing to address the crowd:
And their giant sword, right here.
The Cardinal of the Most Holy Roman Catholic Church in Chicago compares the gay rights movement to the Ku Klux Klan. Because of an argument about routing the Gay Pride Parade. Out of touch, much?
"The only women backstage were often tagged with a 'Tulsa' badge to get backstage (that's 'A Slut' backwards)."