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Sunday, February 5, 2012

Sports / Drunk You Guys, the Superbowl Is Happening Right Now!

Posted by Grant Brissey on Sun, Feb 5, 2012 at 3:43 PM

It's the Seattle Supersonics vs. the Philadelphia Flyers! Who's gonna win it? How many chicken wings have you eaten? On a scale 1-10, how drunk are you? Who's calling in sick tomorrow?

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Monday, January 23, 2012

Politics / Drunk Tomorrow: Prepare Yourselves for an Evening with Obama's Forehead in Glorious Technicolor

Posted by Cienna Madrid on Mon, Jan 23, 2012 at 3:37 PM

Note: It's actually President Obama's 3rd SoTU address. We are so drunk that we forgot. Sue us.

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Thursday, January 5, 2012

Books / Drunk Get Drunk with Book Nerds Tonight

Posted by Paul Constant on Thu, Jan 5, 2012 at 12:42 PM

Today's the day the MLA Conference lands in Seattle, which means that right now, there are so, so many language nerds in Seattle. And where you find language nerds, you also find an overpowering desire to get very drunk. That's why the New York Review of Books is hosting a free, open meetup tonight at the Sorrento Hotel's fireside room starting at 5:30.

You don't have to attend the MLA in order to go get drunk with NYRB tonight; in fact, I'm willing to bet they'd welcome anyone who enjoys booze, books, and the occasional debate/fistfight over grammar. It should be a fun time, with any number of sexy-librarian-looking folks enjoying the ambiance and looking for tips on how best to enjoy Seattle. Go and give them a warm welcome on behalf of the city; it's easy to not be shy when you know every other person there is a book nerd, too.

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Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Drunk And the Drunk of the Year Winner Is....

Posted by Megan Seling on Tue, Jan 3, 2012 at 10:42 AM

The results are in, the poll is closed, and a winner has been declared! The drunk you'll see on the cover of tomorrow's Regrets issue is...

Guy Stuck in a Traffic Barrel!

It was a very, very close race. Traffic barrel guy won over Soap Lake Sarah by only 26 votes.

Congrats, Mr. Guy Stuck in a Traffic Barrel! Be sure to pick up a copy of tomorrow's paper to see him in all his cover-boy glory.

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Friday, December 30, 2011

Drunk Look How Close the Drunk of the Year Poll Is!

Posted by Megan Seling on Fri, Dec 30, 2011 at 10:02 AM

There are clearly two favorites in this week's Drunk of the Year poll:

Screen_Shot_2011-12-30_at_9.53.31_AM.png

It's so close! Especially with the whole weekend left for voting. Who will win? Have you voted yet? Get over there and do it! The winner will be on the cover of next week's issue.

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Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Drunk Who Should Be Crowned Drunk of the Year?

Posted by Megan Seling on Wed, Dec 28, 2011 at 11:47 AM

The Juggalo and the Orangutan. Are they the Drunk(s) of the Year?

Kelly O
The Juggalo and the Orangutan. Are they the Drunk(s) of the Year?

In this week's paper, Drunk of the Week columnist Kelly O chose her six favorite drunks from 2011. Now we're leaving it up to you, dear Stranger readers, to pick the Drunk of the Year!

So who is it? Lady Vampire Banana? Soap Lake Sarah? The Guy Stuck in a Traffic Barrel? See all the drunks and vote for your favorite here.

The drunk with the most votes will grace the cover of next week's annual Regrets issue.

VOTE!

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Friday, December 23, 2011

Games / Drunk A Very Smash Putt 2012

Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Fri, Dec 23, 2011 at 8:13 AM

Screen_shot_2011-10-05_at_3.10.22_PM.png

Smash Putt is mechanized mini-golf madness—loud, possibly dangerous, and fun as hell, with a full bar—and it's baaaack, in January down in Sodo.

Golfball cannons! Raucous contraptions! Scratch 'n' sniff technology! Amazing feats of gravity-defying whimsy. Leave no regrets on this plane of reality as we face the dawning of miniature golf armageddon.

Prepare thyself!

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Friday, December 16, 2011

Drunk Possibly Drunken Holiday Music By Local Artists!

Posted by Grant Brissey on Fri, Dec 16, 2011 at 1:23 PM

Listen to Cory Brewer's odes here, and a bunch of other peeps here.

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Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Drunk Derek Erdman Responds to an Old Rant from a Cranky Bartender on Craigslist

Posted by Christopher Frizzelle on Tue, Dec 13, 2011 at 3:57 PM

You gotta read it—he replies to all the bartender's points, line by line.

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Monday, November 21, 2011

Drunk Jesus Christ, Have You Seen the Giant Bruise on Christopher Frizzelle's Ass?

Posted by Grant Brissey on Mon, Nov 21, 2011 at 11:22 AM

He's only allowed to go to house parties at ramblers now. This is the kind of shit that happens when I leave you guys alone for one week?

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Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Video of the Day / Drunk Lunchtime Quickie: Kids! What'll They Think of Next?!?

Posted by Kelly O on Wed, Nov 9, 2011 at 12:13 PM

"And inserting them... THERE."

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Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Drunk Election Tuesday: Please Remember To Also Vote "Drunk-Banana"

Posted by Kelly O on Tue, Nov 8, 2011 at 2:44 PM

Kelly O

Hey, have you ever seen a drunk banana walk into a bar? How 'bout a drunk-vampire-banana?

There's a Drunk of the Week Poetry Contest happening right now. Won't you please cast your vote? You can vote RIGHT HERE.

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Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Crime / Politics / Drunk Guns Don't Kill People. Drunk Republican Assholes Kill People. (But, You know, the Gun Helps.)

Posted by Goldy on Wed, Oct 12, 2011 at 4:58 PM

An obvious champion for public safety, Tennessee state Rep. Curry Todd once sponsored a bill making it legal to carry handguns into bars. Nope, no chance that could ever lead to any unfortunate consequences.

Also, no surprise then when Todd (a Republican, of course) was arrested yesterday for driving under the influence and possessing a handgun under the influence:

Police said that Tennessee state Rep. Curry Todd (R) was pulled over at around 11:15 p.m. in Nashville, according to WSMV-TV. Officers found a loaded Smith & Wesson .38 Special hidden between the driver’s seat and center console.

An affidavit charged that the lawmaker was “almost falling down at times” and “obviously very impaired and not in any condition to be carrying a loaded handgun.”

Far be it from me to to stereotype Southerners as a bunch of drunk, gun-toting crackers, but... well... um....

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Thursday, October 6, 2011

Mailbag / Games / Drunk The Return of Smash Putt?

Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Thu, Oct 6, 2011 at 7:11 AM

From the electronic mailbag:

Hi Stranger,

Please tell me there will be another Halloween Smash Putt at the creepy old INS bldg again this year? I haven't seen anything about it. If not, I don't think it is hyperbole to say that would be tragic. Boo.

Thank you!

Smash Putt replies!

Hiiiiiiiii!

We are presently scurrying around looking for a suitable building!

Most likely we will be hitting mid Nov with our Smash Putt goodness! We decided to move it back deeper into winter in large part due to the late summer. We see the role of Smash Putt as a much needed antidote to Seattle winter blues!

We will let you know as soon as we get a lease signed!

-jeremy

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Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Panic / Cats / Bieber Fever / ??!! / Hump / Sex / Conflict of Interest / Nepotism / Celeb / Hetero / Teh Internets / Games / Drunk Happy Anniversary to Mr. & Mrs. Fnarf

Posted by Dan Savage on Tue, Sep 27, 2011 at 1:07 PM

Then & Now

Ain't love grand? Congrats you two. All of your friends & frenemies at Slog wish you many, many more happy years together.

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Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Crime / Cats / Booze / Drugs / International / Genius / Drunk / Dance The Stranger Genius Award Party Is This Friday!!!

Posted by Grant Brissey on Wed, Sep 14, 2011 at 2:57 PM

Here's some weirdly placed cameras that do a decent job of catching what an absolute blast Wild Orchid Children are live:

They're fun live in a way that their records don't always convey. And then guess what else we did? We got Wheedle's Groove to headline! They don't even sound anything like each other! We're Crazy! What's more you ask? What's more is we have the venerable OC Notes deejaying as well as Emerald City Soul Club. There is so much dance for your ass at this party that you won't be able to move it for a week. All of this for only $7. YOU ARE STEALING IT. All the pertinent info for the party is right here. Buy your tickets right now and let's do this thing.

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Friday, September 9, 2011

Animals / At Large / Drunk Headline of the Day

Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Fri, Sep 9, 2011 at 1:13 PM

"At first I wondered if it was the crazy neighbors."

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Thursday, September 8, 2011

Drunk WSLCB to Review Rule Prohibiting Entertainers From Drinking While Performing

Posted by Grant Brissey on Thu, Sep 8, 2011 at 9:01 AM

That's right. It's the most common complaint you hear from touring musicians about Seattle (or anywhere in the state): No drinking on stage. Thanks to a petition sent to WSLCB by a "liquor licensee," they'll now review that rule.

It's a rare concession from the WSLCB, who may finally be growing wary of myriad government entities crumbling around them—not wanting to stick their head out for fear they'll be the next ones to get thrown on the chopping block. How times have changed since Operation Sobering Thought and Tom Carr. (How ya doin', Boulder?) Anyway, if you want to weigh in:

You may attend the public hearing listed below, or forward your comments to the
Board by mail, e-mail, or fax by October 12, 2011.
By mail: Rules Coordinator By e-mail: By fax:
Liquor Control Board rules@liq.wa.gov 360-360-664-9689
P.O. Box 43080
Olympia, WA 98504-3080

Public October 12, 2011
Hearing: 10:00 a.m.
Washington State Liquor Control Board – Board Room
3000 Pacific Ave. S.E, Olympia, WA

Public October 12, 2011
Hearing: 10:00 a.m.
Washington State Liquor Control Board – Board Room

Here is the jist:

(i) Entertainers per WAC 314-02-010 may drink while
performing under the following conditions:
(A) Alcohol service must be monitored by MAST servers;
(B) Drinks must be served in nondescript containers;
(C) Entertainers may not advertise any alcohol brands or products;
(D) Entertainers may not promote drink specials; and
(E) All entertainers performing as a group must be twenty-one years of age or older or no alcohol may be consumed by any entertainer while performing.

Full notice after the cut.

h/t: Tall Chris!

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Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Comedy / Conflict of Interest / Film / Drunk Tomorrow Night: The Enematic Cinematic at Chapel

Posted by Lindy West on Wed, Aug 31, 2011 at 1:02 PM

THIS IS ELICIA SANCHEZ

I, along with boy wonders Kevin Clarke and Travis Vogt, will be a guest at the Enematic Cinematic show tomorrow night (Chapel, 9 pm, FREE). The show will include a screening of The Boneyard, plus a bunch of drunken yelling! I interviewed host/mastermind/comedian Elicia Sanchez about what to expect:

Who are you?

Elicia Sanchez. I'm a stand-up comedian and a video store employee who splits my paychecks between comic books and happy hour. Also, a responsible adult and maker of good decisions. You will most likely see me on the bus sometime.

What is The Enematic Cinematic?

It started as a blog about the shitty movies I watched that turned into a podcast. The podcast episodes consist of me convincing comedians, filmmakers, friends, and/or random people to come over to my apartment, drink some beer, and then record ourselves talking about the movie we watched in segments such as: what we learned, favorite quotes, or a name from the end credits that sounds like a nickname for a penis. And so on.

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Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Life / Conflict of Interest / Hetero / Drunk The Hair Was the Least of It. . .

Posted by Chicago Fan on Tue, Aug 30, 2011 at 6:54 PM

The real shame is not the hair, it's the clothes. You could hear this brown corduroy three-piece suit whif-whif-whiffing from a quarter mile off. The class ring is pretty scary too.

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Friday, August 26, 2011

Drunk Jimmy Hendricks Manpurse Happy Hour!

Posted by Lindy West on Fri, Aug 26, 2011 at 2:40 PM

Yooooooooooou guuuuuuuuuuuys!!!!! Do you like cafes? Do you like hard things? Do you like rocks? Do you like emasculating a man for carrying his belongings around in a perfectly reasonable receptacle such as a bag or satchel? Do you like the work of celebrated celebrity Jimmy "Not That Other Guy, Please Don't Sue Us" Hendricks, whoever that is? Do you like drinking with socially awkward shut-ins while surrounded by garbage once touched by Kenny Rogers?

WELL OH MY GOD DO I HAVE THE FUCKING HAPPY HOUR FOR YOU.

Next Wednesday, August 31, from 5 to 8 pm, we shall convene on the the sparkling rooftop deck of downtown's Hard Rock Cafe for the first ever Jimmy Hendricks Manpurse Happy Hour!

No word yet from our previous happy hour guest, the venerable Thomas Skerritt, but the invitation has been issued. I'm sure he's just playing coy.

So mark your calendars, freaks! Very special drink specials—they are FULL OF ALCOHOL—below:

· $5 boilermakers—a draft beer with shot of Jim Beam
· well drinks for $3.30 each (Smirnoff, Beefeater, Bacardi, Sauza, Cutty Sark, Jack Daniels)
· half-off draft beers ($2.60 to$3.10 each) and Washington wines ($3.15 to $4.50)
· plus half-off most appetizers.

Jimmy Hendricks Manpurse Happy Hour! WOOOOO!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

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Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Comedy / Conflict of Interest / Film / Drunk The Drinky Movie Show Tonight!

Posted by Lindy West on Tue, Aug 23, 2011 at 2:02 PM

"You Don't Have To Be A Drunken Movie Fan to Enjoy this Show, But Yes You Do."

That's the tagline for the Drinky Movie Show (Sunset Tavern, 9 pm), "an alcohol-soaked descent into film nerd madness." Anchored by the prodigious talents (and drinking problems) of hosts Travis Vogt, Kevin Clarke, and Derek Sheen, tonight's Drinky Movie Show will also feature Level-6 Mage Mike Drucker and grumpy nugget of delight Elicia Sanchez. In case you're a dummy who doesn't know anything, those are five of the funniest people in Seattle. For serious.

Featuring short films, contests, prizes, and drink specials, this will be a full-on multimedia extravaganza that everyone can enjoy! And by "everyone" I mean "People over 21 who watch too many movies and regularly drink alcohol to excess."

Tuesday, Aug 23, Sunset Tavern, 9 pm.

I, Lindy West, will also be in the show. I will be drunk and yelling about movies. So, you know, just another day at the office.

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Thursday, August 11, 2011

Politics / Drunk Costco's Liquor Initiative Would Generate Millions in New Revenue, State Study Finds

Posted by Cienna Madrid on Thu, Aug 11, 2011 at 2:04 PM

The Costco-sponsored initiative that would make approximately 1,500 Washington grocery stores eligible to sell hard liquor would generate as much $253 million for the state and an additional $227 million for local governments over a period of six years, according to a recent state budget report. Meanwhile, annual costs to the state are estimated at only $158,600.

This report—one of many compiled by the state's Office of Financial Management, as Eli noted earlier—cautions that it's hard to pinpoint the precise revenue impacts of Costco's Initiative 1183 because—aside from license fees—the bulk of the state's revenue would be largely determined by liquor prices set by retailers. But according to the report, liquor revenues could increase by as much as $42 million annually for the state and $38 million for local municipalities, over the course of six years. Those numbers don't take into account an additional net $28.4 million from selling off the Washington's liquor distribution center.

If approved by voters in November, I-1183 would make all grocery outlets with more than 10,000 square feet of retail space eligible to sell liquor (a grandfather clause in the initiative also allows current state-run stores to continue operating, if they so choose). The report notes that this would likely increase the number of liquor stores operating in the state from roughly 360 to 1,428, and jump sales of liquor (by the liter) an additional five percent (on top of the predicted annual sales growth of three percent).

If Washington voters approve I-1183, retailers could begin selling liquor on June 1, 2012.

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Thursday, August 4, 2011

Crime / Drunk Anonymous Cartoonist Mocks Local Police, Now Faces Criminal Investigation

Posted by Cienna Madrid on Thu, Aug 4, 2011 at 12:14 PM

Renton law enforcement are accusing an anonymous cartoonist—known only as Mr. Fiddlesticks—of criminal cyberstalking for making eight embarrassing, funny video parodies that appear to skewer the Renton police. Court documents state that the videos "did not mention a specific city or police department, but several comments made in the videos were linked to past sexual relationships, internal investigations, rumors, and accusations of sexual orientation within the City of Renton."

The videos—which have since been removed from Youtube.com—also mention "officers having sex on duty... sleeping while on duty, throwing somebody off a bridge." (KiroTV has two of the videos uploaded on their website.) Meanwhile, First Amendment law experts say the city's accusations of cyberstalking are dubious.

From KiroTV.com:

“The cyberstalking angle doesn't pass the laugh test," Balasubramani [a cyber-law and constitutional lawyer] told KIRO-TV. "It's a serious stretch and I'd be surprised if somebody looked at it and realistically thought these acts actually fit the statute and we could make somebody criminally liable."

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Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Crime / Drunk Too Drunk to Drive, Police Report Says, but Not Too Drunk to Slash His Friend's Face

Posted by Unpaid Intern on Wed, Aug 3, 2011 at 1:24 PM

Posted by news intern Peter Johnson.

An innocent Saturday night of drinking unexpectedly turned into a harrowing home knife assault, according to a police report filed by SPD Officer Matthew J. Blackburn. The officer arrived in north Capitol Hill after midnight to find an injured couple holed up in their apartment.

According to the report, the trouble had begun when the man and woman arrived at their apartment after a night spent drinking. Blackburn writes that the residents invited friend they had been drinking with "to sleep on their couch as they felt he was too drunk to drive."

The would-be house guest had other ideas, however. The guest reportedly "became agitated and demanded his keys," the report continues. At that point, Blackburn writes, the scene got ugly when the house guest "grabbed a knife from a magnetic hanger and slashed [the male resident] on the right side of the neck. ...[The female resident] began to scream and yell for both men to stop fighting. [The house guest] turned and punched her several times in the face with a closed fist. [The male resident] then forced [the dickbag] out the front door and contacted the police."

Officer Blackburn arrived to find the suspect standing in the hallway. Blackburn arrested the suspect, he writes in the report, saying the man "appeared intoxicated and [Blackburn] had trouble understanding him as he spoke." After first responders arrived, the suspect was booked into jail and the victims were treated for their injuries.

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Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Drunk Fun and/or Stupid Game: Where Did the Grey Goose Bottle on the Sidewalk Come From?

Posted by Grant Brissey on Tue, Aug 2, 2011 at 3:27 PM

Play or complain about it here!

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Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Drunk I Saw Jimmy Buffet's Flip Flop

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Tue, Jul 26, 2011 at 9:47 AM

So I was in historic, beautiful New Orleans last week which was OHHHHHHH-KAY and fun from what I remember (which admittedly isn't a lot, thanks to an eventual onset of alcohol poisoning). However! A definite highlight was laying bloodshot eyes on this: JIMMY BUFFET'S HAT AND FLIP FLOP!!

Spotted this in a Parrot Head bar on Bourbon Street named "Tropical Island" or something like that. Again, don't remember much about any of it. Thankfully I had enough forethought to snap a few more pics which you can see after the jump.

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Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Two-Block Radius / Chow / Drunk What Will You See While Drinking at Cure?

Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Tue, Jul 12, 2011 at 12:18 PM

blog.cureseattle.com
From the inside out on a rainy day.

Small, cute (but not cutesy!) Cure is a brand-new bar with good snacks and lots of windows on the west side of Capitol Hill's Cal Anderson Park—right across that funny little street from the tennis and basketball courts, just up from Rock Box.

What will you see while drinking there? Here's what I said:

The location of Cure—on the west side of Capitol Hill's Cal Anderson Park—means that while you drink and eat, you might see people playing basketball (sweaty, sexy) or bike polo (fascinating teetering) or adult dodgeball (should be a contradiction in terms)...

But commenter taint disagrees:

"The location of Cure—on the west side of Capitol Hill's Cal Anderson Park—means that while you drink and eat, you might see people shitting in the bushes, giving each other toothless blowjobs near the bathroom, and washing their filthy asses in the kid's wading pool".

there, fixed that for ya.

For the record, I've walked and rode my bike countless times through Cal Anderson Park (it's in the two-block radius, so I can't go anywhere else)...

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Friday, July 8, 2011

Boom / Drunk Allegedly Drunk Man Allegedly Shoots Fireworks Into a Crowd

Posted by Unpaid Intern on Fri, Jul 8, 2011 at 3:29 PM

Posted by news intern Peter Johnson.

Thousands of Seattle residents celebrated the 4th of July by lighting off a few fireworks or enjoying the grand, choreographed fireworks display at Gasworks Park. And for most people, the celebration ends there. But each year, an unlucky few are branded by patriotism, such as one woman admitted to a Seattle hospital for treatment of a fireworks burn to her face, according to a police report.

The incident happened following the fireworks show at Gasworks Park. According to the report, a crowd of forty or fifty people went to a nearby alley to continue their party at which point one reveler, who witnesses described as "very intoxicated," tried to contribute to the party by shooting off a firework.

Sadly, his aim was off. Instead of firing the explosive into the air, the man allegedly fired four volleys from a firework into the crowd of partygoers and "struck [one victim] in the face, causing burns." Specifically, the report notes the victim suffered a "dime size burn with broken skin to lower left side of face" and "powder burn marks surrounding dime size burn."

The report also notes that, "the suspect apologized." One witness speculated that "because of [the suspect's] intoxication level, he did not have full control of the fireworks."

Following the incident, the suspect's girlfriend drove a carload of people—including the suspect and his alleged burn victim—to the emergency room, where she was treated for her face burns. The victim later told officers that she didn't want to press charges, she only wanted the suspect to cover her medical expenses. The report doesn't state if the officers were able to locate the suspect.

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