Hey, look, everyone: It's the first day of Seattle Beer Week, with more than 100 200 (!!!) beery events through May 19 (because a beer week should be longer than a regular week, obvs.). The sloshy fun includes the Tour de Pints bicycle-powered-beer-crawl, a beer-can-car derby at the Pine Box, and the Brewers Mini Golf Blowout in Interbay (“You can be sure there will be drinks on these links”).
"The other night at Westlake, my skateboarding was impeded by a strange multicolored glass object sitting on the planter. This turned out to be a rather large, blown-glass dildo, covered in Westlake's omnipresent slime and trash. It being Westlake, I just let it wash over me and kept skating. That is, until a passing meth enthusiast unwittingly picked it up and examined it. After a few puzzled moments, the general murmur of the horrified onlookers reached the ears of the unfortunate gutter-dildo examiner. This person's face at the moment they realized what, exactly, they were holding is not one I'll soon forget."
Right near Full Tilt in Columbia City, the Hummingbird Saloon specializes in Cornish pasties (YUM), and we hear from the excited neighbors that there will be shuffleboard. The name reportedly came from the owner admiringly watching a hummingbird attack a crow.
Next door to Anchovies & Olives, Ethan Stowell's smallish, windowed Bar Cotto serves salumi (including culatello, porchetta, and three kinds of prosciutto), small plates, bruschetta, and pizzas with various fancy toppings—and, of course, cocktails (some barrel-aged). Meats are $7 each or five for $25, and other stuff ranges from $7 to $16; seems like it might add up, but for the penurious, there's happy hour every day from 4 to 6 p.m. The name, they say, “basically just means ‘cooked’ in Italian.”
What excites me most about the opening lineup is the diversity of the list. Many of Seattle's great beer bars focus on big, Northwest style ales—IPA, Porter, Stout, and so on. Others focus entirely on German-style beers. Von Trapp's seems to be really focused on a broad range of beers, from traditional German-style lagers to robust local ales.
The beers on the opening lineup that most immediately whet my whistle would be Maisel Dunkel Weisse, Veltins Pilsner, Good Life Descender IPA, and the North Coast Old Rasputin. The Duchesse De Bourgogne is also a very nice touch. It's a Belgian beer—a Flanders Red Ale—that serves as a very good introduction to an exciting world of crazy-ass beer flavors. It's like a gateway beer for people who say they don't like sour beers. The Duchess is brewed with wild yeast. She can open your mind to a whole new world of beer flavors if you'll let her. She's like your first really crazy girlfriend. I know you're afraid it will hurt, but trust her. You won't regret it.
Seattle is the birthplace of great beer and great music. We are true leaders in that regard. For too long Seattle has been lacking a kickass beer and music festival. Typically, beer is an afterthought at our music festivals. And vice versa. Epic fail! The Penumbra Beer Bash intends to confront this problem head on.
Today started off TERRIBLE! But now? Everything is better. Why? Because, thanks to this video by Ze Frank, I now know where I stand in the universe... and it's all thanks to Morgan Freeman. Morgan Freeman is ultimately responsible for everything in the universe, because... Morgan Freeman. For example, "Morgan Freeman doesn't have sex. When he smiles a baby simply appears in a field full of kittens." Want to learn more about Morgan Freeman, and his role in/as the universe? Morgan Freeman this Morgan Freeman. Morgan Freeman.
If you want more celebrity bullshit posts, post 'em. And please note that the two Seahawks posts were by regular actual employees of The Stranger, and one of them was so disdainful as to actually constitute a Golden Globes post.
Shortly after I got my drivers license I drove to a New Years Eve party and got totally blitzed. The next morning my mother burst into my bedroom, startling me awake. "What happened to the car?!" she angrily screamed at me.
"What?" I replied from my half-awake hungover haze.
"What happened to the car?!" She demanded again.
I thought for moment, and then settled on the truth. "I got really drunk last night," I told her, "so I left the car at the party and walked home."
I was not punished for my behavior. In fact, I think my mother was kinda proud. I wasn't particularly experienced at either drinking or driving, but even at sixteen I had the commonsense (or perhaps the fear instilled from my recent drivers ed course) not to combine the two.
And that's what makes it such a big scandal every time an elected official like Senator Michael Crapo (R-Idaho) gets pulled over on a DUI. These are people who should know better. (They're also people, as Atrios repeatedly points out, who can afford a cab or a driver.) And no, the booze is not an excuse for their lack of judgment. A 0.11 percent blood alcohol level is drunk enough to know you're too drunk to drive, but not so drunk that you're incapacitated to the point that you just don't give a shit.
So to dismiss this as a temporary lack of judgment is to let him off to easy: Senator Crapo chose to drive drunk because that's who he is. Something to remember the next time he moralizes on anything.
... besides worrying about the election, and being sad that Halloween is over? Or maybe you're a closet Cheech & Chong fan? Maybe you just love poetry? If you said yes, to any of these, click the photo. Click it now.
Did you watch last Sunday's Breaking Bad? Then you saw the final shocking scene everyone's talking about, right? Well, did you know there was an "alternate ending" for that scene? It's more shocking (and hilarious) than the original by far! SPOILERS AHOY!!
Did you know a cute flasher, a woman with a broken vagina, and a naked man in a dumpster are all competing for the illustrious title of The Stranger's Drunk of the Week? It's true! Go vote! Photos slightly NSFW.
The first Seattle weekend in which liquor was sold at grocery stores failed to unleash the torrent of violent, dangerous behavior that opponents of privatized liquor (including the national beer industry, cops, and employee unions who staffed state-run liquor stores) had warned us about.
Asked if there was any uptick in alcohol-related crime this weekend, Seattle Police Department sergeant Sean Whitcomb said no. "As far as community issues at grocery stores, nothing that's on our radar," Whicomb said. He fielded input from a few other officers who also reported no liquor-at-Safeway-related mayhem, even though liquor was sold at retail outlets until 2:00 a.m. instead of the bankers' hours of the state-run stores. This weekend did bring a few major crimes, he said, including a stabbing and a person with a gun. But alcohol-related? "Nothing that would rise to the level of police concern at this point." Admittedly, it's the first weekend, and more alcohol availability can lead some types of people to abuse alcohol.
So if you see any drunken brawls in the produce aisle, you know what to do. "We ask people to give us a call and we will investigate," Whitcomb said.
Today's the day the MLA Conference lands in Seattle, which means that right now, there are so, so many language nerds in Seattle. And where you find language nerds, you also find an overpowering desire to get very drunk. That's why the New York Review of Books is hosting a free, open meetup tonight at the Sorrento Hotel's fireside room starting at 5:30.
You don't have to attend the MLA in order to go get drunk with NYRB tonight; in fact, I'm willing to bet they'd welcome anyone who enjoys booze, books, and the occasional debate/fistfight over grammar. It should be a fun time, with any number of sexy-librarian-looking folks enjoying the ambiance and looking for tips on how best to enjoy Seattle. Go and give them a warm welcome on behalf of the city; it's easy to not be shy when you know every other person there is a book nerd, too.