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Friday, November 20, 2009

Seafood and Titties: Broken Lizard at Pike Place Market Today

Posted by Lindy West on Fri, Nov 20, 2009 at 11:39 AM

I AM A FISH AND I LUV BOOBZ
  • "I AM A FISH AND I LUV BOOBZ"
Hello, dudes and dude-enthusiasts. The dudes of Broken Lizard are in town for a live show at the Moore tonight, and while they're at it they're doing a little promotion for their upcoming film The Slammin' Salmon:

In honor of the Broken Lizard’s new film, The Slammin’ Salmon, in theatres DECEMBER 11th, the Broken Lizard comedy group will learn to “toss a salmon” like the pros while be cheered on by the Hooters Spirit Squad at the world famous Pike Place Fish Market.

So.....You can go look at that and stuff, if you want. It's at 1:30 pm at the Market. Dudes.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Carrie Prejean Found Dead in New Jersey Motel Room!

Posted by David Schmader on Thu, Nov 12, 2009 at 12:56 PM

Just kidding about that headline, but holy crap is Carrie Prejean's ongoing downward spiral a wonder to behold.

Hot on the heels of her View grilling and idiotically aborted appearance on Larry King Live, Prejean has abruptly pulled out of a splashy speaking gig. From TMZ:

TMZ has learned Carrie Prejean just pulled out of a talk she was supposed to give this afternoon at the Capitol Hill Club in Washington D.C.—an exclusive club for Republicans only.

An insider at the Capitol Hill Club tells TMZ Carrie canceled five minutes before she was supposed to speak because her camp wanted to avoid a repeat of last night's "Larry King Live" fiasco — when she almost walked off the set.

Carrie faced a fresh wave of criticism this morning after her former hookup told us she wanted him to lie about her sex tape and tell people she was underage when she filmed it ... when she was really 20-years-old.

Also on TMZ, some damning anti-Prejean testimony from Miss California USA president Keith Lewis:

"The public is finally getting a glimpse of the real Carrie Prejean who lives in her own delusional world. The childish behavior, her negative attitude, the sarcasm and condescending tone, the disrespect and continual lying she is demonstrating now is only a fraction of what we endured during her reign and after. Anyone who buys her book is supporting a woman who is actually the opposite of everything she claims to be. I sincerely hope she is able to get the psychological help I believe she has shown to clearly need."

Don't forget, Prejean's whole horrible week was originally supposed to function as publicity for her new book, the full title of which is Still Standing: The Untold Story of My Fight Against Gossip, Hate, and Political Attacks, which currently ranks #701 on Amazon's Bestsellers List—a gratifyingly ridiculous position for a book whose "author" has been on a headline-making weeklong press blitz. From the book's inside flap:

Carrie Prejean endured the hellish nightmare that the liberal media can inflict on anyone who disagrees with their agenda, but her faith, courage, and conviction have made her a role model for how we can stare down the bullies of political correctness and reclaim our God-given rights to freedom of speech, thought, and conscience.

And that was written before the events of this week. What a wonderful world we live in. Now please enjoy what for me is the ultimate image of the whole Carrie Prejean saga—a photo taken by the boyfriend for whom Prejean diddled herself on camera, which accomplishes the amazing task of making a thin, pretty, ostentatiously "Christian" woman look like a fat slut.

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Carrie Prejean, you are a national treasure.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Epic Webcomic Alert

Posted by Paul Constant on Wed, Nov 11, 2009 at 1:34 PM

greatsmallpotatoes.png

One of my favorite features at The Rumpus is their great collection of webcomics. The Pornographic Barn Owl got off to a slow start, but they ran a two-part series a few weeks ago (here's part one and here's part two) that was really something special. Truth Serum is always great, like Red Meat back when Red Meat was funny. But today's Small Potatoes is my favorite of the bunch. It's like the epic final Peanuts cartoon that Charles Schultz never got around to drawing.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Tonight in Film: The Room!

Posted by Lindy West on Wed, Nov 4, 2009 at 1:22 PM

Tommy Wiseau: You will see his buttocks.
  • Tommy Wiseau: You will see his buttocks.
So, six years after everyone else, I finally got around to watching cult-trash masterpiece The Room. Here is what I wrote about it in this week's Concessions:

The overwhelming feeling, when one begins watching The Room, is the following: "Gosh, Lord Jesus, I hope never to see that man's waxy, naked buttocks as he thrusts carnally into a blond woman's belly button whilst sometimes rubbing a red rose on her left boob to the overdubbed sounds of his sexual and slightly French man-groans. To avoid this terrible fate, I would pretty much do anything, Lord Jesus. Including sexual things. As long as the sexual things do not involve Tommy Wiseau's penis. Thanks! LYLAS! Amen. This is Lindy, by the way."

Read the whole thing HERE.

And you can go see The Room tonight at the Historic University Theater, 7 pm. Or you can wait until January 11, when it plays at Central Cinema. Highly recommended. Highly.

Two Awesome Out-of-Towners at Laff Hole Tonight: I Insist that You Go!

Posted by Lindy West on Wed, Nov 4, 2009 at 10:43 AM

Weinbach: The Shirt.
  • Weinbach: The Shirt.

If you only go to one Laff Hole tonight to see Brent Weinbach tell jokes, make it the Laff Hole where Brent Weinbach is performing, which is at Chop Suey at 9 pm and is called Laff Hole.

Videos & stuff after the jump.

Continue reading »

Things Used to Be Better in Many Ways

Posted by Paul Constant on Wed, Nov 4, 2009 at 8:56 AM

The Daily Show does a great job of pointing out why 24-hour news networks should be outlawed, or at least barred from covering elections:

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Indecision 2009 - Reindecision 2008 And Beyond
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show
Full Episodes
Political HumorHealth Care Crisis

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Today in the Dying Newspaper Industry: Fisticuffs!

Posted by Brendan Kiley on Tue, Nov 3, 2009 at 11:03 AM

This is how we do it:

Details are sketchy, but numerous witnesses report that veteran feature editor Henry Allen punched out feature writer Manuel Roig-Franzia on Friday. The fracas took place in sight of [Washington] Post executive editor Marcus Brauchli’s office. Brauchli rushed to separate the two.

It should be noted that Allen is nearly seventy, but he served in the Marines in Vietnam. He also won a Pulitzer prize in 2000 for criticism. Both apparently came into play when Allen jumped Roig-Franzia.

The offending story was a "charticle" about accidental disclosures of internal government documents, including battle plans by Robert E. Lee that were used to wrap cigars, dropped in a field of clover, and found by Union forces.

The only punch-out I've ever heard involving Stranger staffers was years ago, when then-theater critic Matt Richter was sucker-punched at Piecora's by a frustrated theater person. His version of the story:

So I was walking into Piecora's with two donors, a local rock star and his wife, to pitch them an early version of the ConWorks idea. I had left the paper a few months before to launch CW. As we're standing around waiting for a table, a guy comes up to us, and asks if I'm Matthew Richter. I say yes I am, and he says his name... which I didn't recognize, but I don't recognize anyone's name, and I assumed I was supposed to know him. I put my hand out to shake his, and smiled, and said, "oh, sure, hi, how are you?" Instead of shaking my hand, he reared back and punched me in the face, and then ran out of the restaurant.

As I was getting up off the floor, I asked the rock star and his wife if they heard the guy's name. It was Jason something. I still don't remember his last name, but at the time it clicked. He was Dustin Hoffman's son in law. Seriously. He and his wife (Hoffman's daughter) had a horrible little theater company in town called The Broken Theater, and I had written about how horrid their horrid little theater company was. That's what got me punched out.

I have yet take a punch from a theater person. (Though a certain writer/director who has just arrived in Seattle may be first in line.)

Somebody punched me in the mouth outside the Stranger offices once—but I was off duty at the time. (I was also braver and stupider back then. I would handle the situation a little differently now.)

UPDATE

Whoops. Fists of fury has already been posted by Eli—but I'll leave this up for the sake of Richter's story.

Father Michael Scott

Posted by Dan Savage on Tue, Nov 3, 2009 at 10:19 AM

A few stray photos on a computer trip up the Scranton branch of the Catholic church...

corsetandpits.jpg
A northeastern Pennsylvania priest has been removed from his duties after church officials say he accidentally displayed inappropriate pictures from his computer before Sunday Mass. The Diocese of Scranton said the Rev. Edward Lyman was using his computer on Oct. 25 to project an informational DVD about the annual diocesan fundraiser when four photos were displayed. They featured what church officials describe as "minimally attired adult males."

Minimally attired adult males—those are my favorite kind! But the minimally attired male, seen above (click on image for a larger version), is not—so far as I know—one of adult males whose picture was displayed before mass at St. Anthony's in Scranton. His picture was taken at a gay nightclub in Rome, though, so it felt like an appropriate illustration. More shots from the Gorgeous Party at Rome's Alpheus at Homo-Neurotic.

Friday, October 23, 2009

RIP Soupy Sales

Posted by David Schmader on Fri, Oct 23, 2009 at 11:10 AM

scaled.soup.jpg

The man they call Soupy has gone to the great beyond. From the NYT obit:

Soupy Sales, whose zany television routines turned the smashing of a pie to the face into a madcap art form, died Thursday night. He was 83.

Some 20,000 pies were hurled at Soupy Sales or at visitors to his TV shows in the 1950s and ’60s, by his own count. The victims included Frank Sinatra, Tony Curtis and Jerry Lewis, all of whom turned up just for the honor of being creamed.

And here's a hilarious chunk from E!'s write-up:

[I]n 1965, a disgruntled Sales ended his New Year's Day broadcast of The Soupy Sales Show by instructing his young audience to creep into their parents' bedrooms, take their parents' "funny green pieces of paper with pictures of U.S. presidents," and mail the paper to him. When money started arriving at the studio, Sales explained he was only joking and either returned the dough or donated the unreturnables to charity.

RIP Soupy Sales. Please smash a pie into God's face for me.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Laff Horrible!

Posted by Lindy West on Wed, Oct 21, 2009 at 3:00 PM

laff_horrible.jpg
I don't know if you noticed, but it's become that time of year when everything becomes scary. You know, it's like normal times of year, only everything is SCAAAAARY!*

ANYWAY.

Tonight at Chop Suey (9 pm, $7) it's a spooky-scary version of Laff Hole:

It's called Laff Horrible, and will feature comedy from Andy Peters (back in town after moving to LA), zombie performance art from Johanna Buccola, creepy burlesque from Fanny Tragic, films from Travis & Kevin (The Entertainment Show) and an improvised slasher film from Blood Squad.

That's a great lineup, y'all. (Some representative clips after the jump.)


*Oh, a scary movie marathon, you say? HOW NOVEL. Which combination of scary movies that we've already seen should we watch this time? Just like we did last year? For literally no reason? They're available year-round, you know. Just sayin'.

Continue reading »

Monday, October 5, 2009

Upcoming: Mark Siano and the Freedom Dancers at the Triple Door

Posted by David Schmader on Mon, Oct 5, 2009 at 3:40 PM

scaled.joeyfb.jpg

This Friday and Saturday, Mark Siano and the Freedom Dancers return to the Triple Door with another dose of soft-rockin', jazz-handed mayhem. In advance of the shows, I asked the mastermind behind the Soft Rock Explosion some questions. Answers—including discussion of Jazzercise, dance belts, and "sparkletards"—after the jump.

Continue reading »

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Sesame Tea People

Posted by Charles Mudede on Thu, Oct 1, 2009 at 8:32 AM

Big Bird is a birther!

Monday, September 28, 2009

Re: Let the Panda Die with Dignity

Posted by Lindy West on Mon, Sep 28, 2009 at 11:26 AM

"It's not meeting us halfway, is it?"

Thursday, September 24, 2009

For My Tea People

Posted by Charles Mudede on Thu, Sep 24, 2009 at 3:59 PM

Hitler and Obama? How about Hitler and Thatcher:

The creepiest thing about this famous skit is how unfunny it is. Indeed, the monster puppet of Hitler seems believable.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

"Andy Haynes and Frenemies" Tonight

Posted by Lindy West on Wed, Sep 23, 2009 at 11:13 AM

Want this man to pin you against a wall and breathe in your mouth?
  • Want this man to pin you against a wall and breathe in your mouth?
Tonight at the Comedy Underground, comedian Andy Haynes (one of those ones who used to live here but then moved to New York because he's better than us) is headlining a set and recording his first CD. Andy is funny.

Also on the bill:
Seth Lazear
James Parkinson
Jesse Case
Billy Wayne Davis

9/23 8:30 pm
Comedy Underground
109 S. Washington St.
$5

Best of all, partial proceeds will go to support marriage equality AND HOW FUCKING CUTE IS THAT? So you'd better go. Unless you hate gay people. Why do you hate gay people so much?

Friday, September 18, 2009

Hahahaaahahahaahaahahaahaaha

Posted by Lindy West on Fri, Sep 18, 2009 at 3:50 PM

pleasewipe.jpg

Haaaaaaahaaahahahahaahahaahahahah!

nutsinyourfood.jpg

HAAAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

Continue reading »

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Doom-O-Matic

Posted by Paul Constant on Thu, Sep 17, 2009 at 4:27 PM

The gentleman who has been dressing up as Dr. Doom and doing stand-up comedy has returned to answer the vital question: "What happens if you combine the greatest Marvel Comics super-villain ever and a Gallagher routine?" The answer is messy:

You will note that Dr. Doom is using a replica of Beta Ray Bill's hammer, which means that underneath that disguise, he is a wealthy ubernerd.

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