Seattle's Low Income Housing Institute is in the running for a $250,000 grant for housing homeless veterans and and assisting the beloved Urban Rest Stop. They're a few thousand votes behind, with nine days left, but they're closing the gap and they need your help to win.

Please go here and vote for the Low Income Housing Institute.

Thank you, Sloggers.

...$11,740!!!

UPDATE: The splendid people of Slog are STILL DONATING even though the Charity Challenge officially ended yesterday... the new total is $12,140. You are MAGIC ELVES, all of you!

Two hundred and thirty-one of us lovely people donated to Northwest Harvest to help feed hungry people here in Washington state. And let us state for the record: Slog is magical. Thank you, thank you, everyone.

And the winner of the final contest for the Charity Challenge 2012—that's dinner for two at lovely Olivar, courtesy of Dine Around Seattle, a bunch of tickets to see great movies at the Northwest Film Forum, one water pipe from Piece of Mind (can we call it a bong now that it's legal?), and one Seattle Rain Globe—is... Enigma! Here is what Enigma said:

This is the first year in five years I won't be seeing my family for the holidays—being unemployed makes traveling difficult. A few movie passes and a nice dinner at a swank place would be a nice change to the monotony of Top Ramen and Netflix.

YAY, and happy merry everything, everybody!

Not only is there still time to donate to the Northwest Harvest, but there's still time to win some great prizes, too!

The winner of today's contest will win a prize package that includes a $100 gift certificate to Olivar, courtesy of Dine Around Seattle, 10 pairs of NWFF passes (free movies!), one water pipe from Piece of Mind (it's legal now!), and one Seattle Rain Globe (like a snow globe, but Seattle style!).

It costs only 67 cents to feed a family of three a meal through Northwest Harvest. So DONATE NOW!

And after you do, forward your receipt to charity@thestranger.com and tell us in one or two sentences, why you want the prizes. The contest ends at midnight tonight, so hurry!

The winner of the Hattie's Hat giveaway is Hyzenthlayk9!

Read the winning sentence (stovepipe hat!) after the jump...

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Moved up because (1) THERE'S STILL TIME TO ENTER! And (2) We have a winner of our Victoria, BC, trip! See below...

Good news, everyone! So far, we have raised $11,035 in the Slog vs. People Who Are So Mad They Call Us Up to Shout at Us Holiday Charity Challenge! That's so great! And it's not over yet—there's still plenty of time to donate to Northwest Harvest. To give you an extra little push, we're giving away a pair of Bumbershoot tickets to one lucky donor!

All you have to do is make a donation to Northwest Harvest. Then send the receipt to charity@thestranger.com, along with a sentence or two about why you'd love to win the Bumbershoot tickets, and you'll be entered in the contest!

Contest ends at midnight tonight, so DONATE NOW!

Remember, it costs only 67 cents to feed a family of three a meal through Northwest Harvest. GIVE TO NORTHWEST HARVEST NOW and send us your commenter handle along with your receipt, and we'll set you up with a SWASHBUCKLING HERO badge.

And our Victoria, BC, winner is Laurel! Read her submission after the jump:

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Today, when you donate to NW Harvest, you also have the opportunity to win $100 in delicious food from Olivar!

To enter the contest, you've gotta do a little work. But it's fun work! First, donate to NW Harvest. Easy. Your money will help them feed hungry families all over Washington this season. Then, forward your receipt to charity@thestranger.com with an acrostic of Olivar.

What's an acrostic? From Wikipedia: "An acrostic is a poem or other form of writing in which the first letter, syllable or word of each line, paragraph or other recurring feature in the text spells out a word or a message."

In this case, because it's one word, each letter will be a new line. Here's a very terrible example!

Obnoxious
Little
Idiots
Voice
Annoying
Ruberic

Now it's your turn! Yours will probably be better. Donate here, send your receipt and acrostic here, and do it by midnight tonight. The best acrostic wins, and the winner will be rewarded with a $100 gift card to use at Olivar. Yum!

It costs only 67 cents to feed a family of three a meal through Northwest Harvest. GIVE TO NORTHWEST HARVEST NOW and send us your commenter handle along with your receipt, and we'll set you up with a SWASHBUCKLING HERO badge.

This year, to raise money for Northwest Harvest, current and former Stranger staffers are telling stories about times people have called us up to shout at us. SO WITH NO FURTHER ADO IT'S...

A few years ago, I was covering a fiasco involving the Faire Gallery and former City Attorney Tom Carr. It reached a grand crescendo two months before the election with Tom Carr screaming at me.

It all began when the Faire Gallery applied for a liquor permit.

But, to make a long story short, Carr lobbied the state liquor board to deny it on the grounds that the owner's husband didn't take a class for his probation (relating to a DUI charge, which he was never convicted of). Finally, after I'd been covering the story for weeks, Carr stopped challenging the liquor permit. Faire gallery had won. I'd called three different people in Carr's office for comment but nobody called me back, so I ran my story on Slog. And then I got this voicemail from Carr:

What was the "crap" he was yelling about? What part of my story lacked "truth"? Faire's attorney was quoted claiming Carr was caving to media pressure—partly from me—and Carr disagreed. "I don’t do things for political pressure," he said. Read the post here and decide for yourself. In the end, Tom Carr was drubbed in that election two-to-one, Pete Holmes won on a platform to STOP FUCKING WITH NIGHTLIFE, and then Tom Carr left town. (Oh, and I also wrote a feature about Tom Carr in the Boulder Weekly the same day he started his new job.)

The end.

Now: PLEASE GIVE TO NORTHWEST HARVEST and send us your commenter handle along with your receipt, and we'll set you up with a SWASHBUCKING HERO badge.

This year, to raise money for Northwest Harvest, current and former Stranger staffers are telling stories about times people have called us up to shout at us.

I've been straining for weeks now to come up with a story about someone yelling at me over the phone, and I really can't. Part of the problem is that I don't use the phone that much. I do most of my interviews in person, and I reach out to people via e-mail. I've had plenty of angry people yell at me in person (my favorite example of this is the local poet who bellowed "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?" at me and proceeded to tell me that because I dared arouse his ire, my reputation was ruined in Capitol Hill poetry world) and via e-mail (my favorite example of this is the Ain't It Cool News writer who told me that maybe one day I would've been good enough to review movies for AICN, but I had ruined that possibility by writing something critical about their site). But nobody has ever yelled at me over the phone. I am a failure of a journalist. Maybe this should be my New Year's resolution for 2013?

Anyhoo, I have a contest for you! Phil and Kaja Foglio, the good people behind the wonderful webcomic series Girl Genius are such firm believers in the work Northwest Harvest does that they've donated all 11 Girl Genius collections to the cause. You can be entered into a drawing to win Girl Genius volumes one through eleven if you follow three easy steps. All you have to do is (1) donate money to Northwest Harvest, (2) e-mail your receipt to charity@thestranger.com, and (3) write the most steampunk sentence you can think of in the e-mail with your forwarded receipt. (Here is an example: "Professor Phinneas McCogsworthy finished polishing the brass edging of his goggles and gingerly manipulated the oscilloscope of his fantabulous dirigible.") The writer of the best sentence wins! And everybody who sends their receipt to charity@thestranger.com gets a nifty "SWASHBUCKLING HERO" tag on all their Slog comments for a whole year! Everybody wins!

Entry deadline: tomorrow (Sunday) at noon.

• Click to embiggen.

It costs only 67 cents to feed a family of three a meal through Northwest Harvest. As of Friday, Slog has raised $7600! Which is so great. Let's give more, more, MORE! GIVE TO NORTHWEST HARVEST NOW and send us your commenter handle along with your receipt and steampunky sentence, and we'll set you up with a SWASHBUCKLING HERO badge and enter you into the Girl Genius drawing!

While we're all working on raising hell about gun control (Dom's mom: YES), we can also give to Northwest Harvest to help feed the hungry children and families and old people in our state, as the Slog Holiday Charity Challenge continues. And we have the winner of the overnight at the Edgewater, Vanessa, after the jump, with a small, sweet tale. Sorry about the world, everyone.

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This year, to raise money for Northwest Harvest, current and former Stranger staffers are telling stories about times people have called us up to shout at us. Mike Gore was our news intern over the summer.

When I was a puny little intern at The Stranger, I longed for the day that I made someone so mad they called and yelled at me. Lo and behold, such an event transpired one summer afternoon.

The Port of Seattle had finished an assessment of what another stadium would do to waterfront traffic. We published the PDFs in the morning after receiving them from a source and were amazed that they weren’t online anywhere else. My amazement turned into fear when the receptionist said there was a “Carl Skanks” on the phone for me. Mr. Skanks turned out to be Charla Skaggs, a PR “professional” from the Port of Seattle.

Skaggs breathlessly accused me of breaking a noon embargo, and demanded that we take the PDFs down. I nervously apologized, and she asked to speak to my editor, Dominic Holden.

“Your funeral, lady,” I thought, as she was transferred to Dominic.

Dominic unloaded on her—that the Port’s media efforts consist of their buddies at the Seattle Times, and that because we hadn’t received the documents or embargo agreement from the port, we hadn’t agreed to an embargo. Simple. Then Dominic edited the post to reflect their enlightening conversation:

Skaggs and her boss asked us to take down the reports. We're not doing it, even though Skaggs says it "will affect the way we interact with you in the future." By that, I assume she's not threatening to withhold information (after all, it's not much of a threat if that's already her modus operandi). I assume Skaggs means she will contact us proactively and professionally instead throwing a tantrum when her media strategies backfire.

Ms. Skaggs doesn’t work at the Port of Seattle any longer.

It costs only 67 cents to feed a family of three a meal through Northwest Harvest. As of this morning, Slog has raised $7600! Which is so great. Let's give more, more, MORE! GIVE TO NORTHWEST HARVEST NOW and send us your commenter handle along with your receipt, and we'll set you up with a SWASHBUCKING HERO badge.

As you probably know by now, this year, to raise money for Northwest Harvest, current and former Stranger staffers are telling stories about times people have called us up to shout at us. My story isn't about being yelled at over the phone, as it is about being yelled at over the internet by the pop punk army and their bitter leader, Ben Weasel of the band Screeching Weasel.

When I was a teenager, and even into my 20s, I fucking loved Screeching Weasel. Ben Weasel, the band's leader, was a known asshole—their songs were snotty, and his attitude was too. They've had a revolving door of members because, it is rumored, he is hard to get a long with (seriously, there are 20 "former members" on their Wikipedia page). Then, last year, Ben Weasel punched a woman in the face during the band's SXSW performance. She had been taunting him, he lashed out. He also took swings at another woman who was trying to break up the fight. Then he said some not-so-nice things about a transgendered person on a message board, shit like "I'd like to see you without your wang tucked between your legs" and "You'd think if you wanted to be a chick, you'd want to be a hot chick; this dude looks like the Church Lady."

Not cool, Ben Weasel. My love for Screeching Weasel was over.

But that doesn't erase the fact that they were a huge part of my teenage years. And earlier this year I wrote about pop punk, puberty, and how so many of pop punks lyrics could be (read: were) interpreted as either misogynistic or otherwise harmful to a young woman's (read: my) self-esteem. It was an autobiographical piece, about my experience growing up listening to dudes sing songs about girls. Namely, how girls have done them wrong and are terrible, unless they meet some very specific, unrealistic standards.

I mentioned at least a dozen artists and songs—the Ataris, Fenix, TX, Blink-182, the Vandals, Less Than Jake, MxPx, the Mr. T Experience, and others, and I also recognized how I was pretty dumb for taking so many of the songs seriously at the time. But oh boy, Ben Weasel was not happy that I mentioned his song "Peter Brady."

He posted a link to the piece on the band's Facebook page and his pop punk minions came running. They left dozens of comments on the story, as well as on the Facebook link. My favorite is:

i cannot believe you have a job, must have nice tits, idiot

Thank you!

But the real good stuff came from Ben Weasel himself. On Facebook he said: "Moron writing for hip Seattle weekly makes me out to be a jerk because of her own cluelessness, managing to completely (and kind of hilariously) misinterpret a Screeching Weasel lyric. I'd write a new song about boneheads who can't manage to figure out the meaning of even the most obvious lyrics but she'd probably insist it was about gingivitis, or the moon or something."

I defended myself with this post. And Ben did not like that either. He said I was "magnificently dishonest at every turn," and "Your problem isn't a bunch of dumb punk bands you listened to when you were a kid. Your problem is you."

Then it became a back and forth dance, the first and only Facebook fight I've ever had. He was so worked up about getting me to apologize for the way I interpreted his song when I was 15, that all I could do was say: "Take a nap, Ben Weasel."

Then he called me a child. I really hope he took that nap.

So if you are all for cranky men taking naps, DONATE NOW! We've already raised $7,564! But we can raise more! Even if you only have a little bit to give, do not feel like you can't help. It really doesn't take much to make a difference—it costs only 67 cents to feed a family of three a meal through Northwest Harvest. So what if you gave $6.70? That's ten families! What if you gave $13.40? That's 20 families!

Slog is helping hungry people by donating to Northwest Harvest! SLOG IS AWESOME.

And the winner of the Cayman Jack™ swag bag is... BusyB, who sent this photo he took in Mali last year:

• BusyB

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This year, to raise money for Northwest Harvest, current and former Stranger staffers are telling stories about times people have called us up to shout at us.

For some reason, I've had a lot of people angrily yell at me over the years—in person, over the phone, and of course in the comment threads, where my old blog, HorsesAss.org, played a valuable role as the Pacific Northwest political blogosphere's preeminent troll magnet. Slog's comment threads are a veritable love-fest by comparison, a bubble of civility where death threats are generally frowned upon and antisemitic rants rarely prove persuasive.

But by far my most memorable incident of angry yelling came via email, not so much for the rancor of the content, but for the affirmation that, if one truly makes an effort to intellectually engage with the opposition, a political accommodation can sometimes be reached.

Back in February of 2006, a small group of uniformed, swastika-waving, neo-Nazis marched on the statue of Lenin in Fremont. (Say what you want about Nazis, but you can't accuse them of having an over-developed sense of irony.) Blog mockery ensued, ultimately prompting the regional chapter of the neo-Nazi National Socialist Movement to list one of my colleagues on their website as a "race traitor."

"I guess one of the advantages of being Jewish," I quipped at the time, "is that no matter what I write, our local Nazis can’t exactly label me a 'race traitor,' can they?"

I was wrong. A few days later the Nazis sent me the following email:

From: DerLeibstandarte
Subject: RACE TRAITOR
Date: March 4, 2006 9:32:10 PM PST
To: David Goldstein

JEW COMMUNIST SCUM, WE ARE WATCHING YOU!!!!!!!

Confidentiality Notice: The information contained in this e-mail and any attachments is Racially and Religiously privileged and confidential. It is intended for specific Aryan recipients only and Brothers and Sisters of their choosing. If you are a jew, you can only be in possession through deceit, treachery, guile, cunning, dissimulation and chicanery, and such possession of this e-mail is contrary to law. You are hereby notified that any dissemination, distribution or copying of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. If you have received this e-mail through the error of someone else, you must notify the sender and permanently delete this e-mail and any attachments immediately. You should neither retain, nor copy nor use this e-mail or any attachment for any purpose. Disclosure of all or any part of the contents to any other jew is a punishable offense.

But you know me: Always looking to engage in reasoned dialog, I wrote back:

Are you calling me a "race traitor?" I'm just curious... using your own concepts, how exactly can a Jew be a traitor to the so-called Aryan race?

To which I quickly got the following response:

OH, well you are just a slimy jew then!

While I take issue with the editorializing, I can't argue with the facts. And I came away somewhat heartened from the exchange, knowing that no matter what your differences, no matter how wide the ideological chasm, if you make a genuine effort to reach out to your opponents, bipartisan political compromise can sometimes be reached.

It is in that spirit of give and take that I remind you that it's the holidays, and people are hungry. Right now, Northwest Harvest is providing 1.7 million meals a month to hungry families across Washington. The Evergreen State is the 14th hungriest state in the country—and more than half of the people who are hungry here are children and the elderly.

It costs only 67 cents to feed a family of three a meal through Northwest Harvest.

Our quest to raise money for the very, very great Northwest Harvest, helping feed hungry people in our state right now and all year around, continues...

It costs only 67 cents to feed a family of three a meal through Northwest Harvest. As of this morning, Slog has raised $6694 ! Which is so great. Let's give more, more, MORE! GIVE TO NORTHWEST HARVEST NOW and send us your commenter handle along with your receipt, and we'll set you up with a SWASHBUCKING HERO badge.

This year, to raise money for Northwest Harvest, current and former Stranger staffers are telling stories about times people have called us up to shout at us.

Everybody knows that if you want to get yelled at on Slog, all you have to do is talk about whiteness, white privilege, white anything. Because to many commenters on the Slogs, when a white person says she's white (DON'T STEP ON MY IRISH HERITAGE WE WERE MINORITIES ONE THOUSAND YEARS AGO AND IT STILL HURTS OWWWWWWWW THAT'S MY IRISH HURTING) and admits that being white from the years 1975 to now has made her life easier than it would have been if she hadn't been white in this day, age, and location, she is clearly a total asshole. So I will open the floor by saying: Who wants to join me at the White Privilege Conference, held every year but this year for the first time in Seattle (it was invented by a Seattle guy)? Hmm? Let the yelling begin! Yeah!

On the subject I write about most often, I must say: Folks love their artsyelling. Especially civic boosters.

Twice, while working at The News Tribune in Tacoma, a parade of trustees from a local arts institution marched in, as a group, to formally complain. One group was furious because I'd written an essay about the profound dullness and lack of conviction in the programming at Tacoma Symphony Orchestra. It was one thing to write concert review after concert review saying that Well, last night's program was dull. But when you strung a season's worth of observations together to ask, Why is the Symphony programming so lifeless?, this was unacceptable. The people who came in fired up were powerful civic players: the superintendent of schools, bankers, attorneys. The News Tribune backed me. A memorable moment came when they asked me why I was an enemy of classical music, and I asked them why they were trying to kill classical music. Surprisingly, we came to a grudging mutual appreciation after that.

No grudging mutual appreciation followed this: Josi Callan, the inaugural director of the Museum of Glass, screamed at me after we wrote about the fact that her salary was far higher than industry norms—while the museum was making layoffs and cuts to its hours and programs. Why was I the enemy of art museums?!! She claimed I had the numbers wrong. To which I had to respond, Then why are you reporting incorrect numbers to the IRS? It did not finish well. She is no longer at the museum, and its next director did not make bank.

This final one was weirdest: I called Michael Monroe, director of Bellevue Arts Museum, to ask about money that had been embezzled by an employee. The news had already hit the TV stations. I asked the most basic factual questions—the sort of questions that write themselves, bearing no authorial voice or tone or inflection whatsoever ("How much money is missing?" "Do you have any idea who took the money?"). He hissed that I was "nobody" and that he, by contrast, had worked with journalists "from Washington, D.C., to New York City." To this day, I have no idea why he reacted this way. I saw him recently in a gift shop on Capitol Hill. I worried for the store.

Now: Please consider fighting the people who yell at us! Because it’s the holidays, and people are hungry, and that is the most important thing in the world, about which we should all be yelling. Right now, Northwest Harvest is providing 1.7 million meals a month to hungry families across Washington. The Evergreen State is the 14th hungriest state in the country—and more than half of the people who are hungry here are children and the elderly.

It costs only 67 cents to feed a family of three a meal through Northwest Harvest.

Our quest to raise money for the very, very great Northwest Harvest, helping feed hungry people in our state right now and all year around, continues...

It costs only 67 cents to feed a family of three a meal through Northwest Harvest. As of this morning, Slog has raised $6,469! Which is so great. Let's give more, more, MORE! GIVE TO NORTHWEST HARVEST NOW and send us your commenter handle along with your receipt, and we'll set you up with a SWASHBUCKING HERO badge.

We'll have another tale of yelling from one Jen Graves later this morning, but meanwhile, wouldn't you love to help hungry people by donating to Northwest Harvest today and maybe also win a BIG BAG of SWAG?! Sure you would!!!

The swag in question comes from one Cayman Jack™, which (who?) loves Slog so much, it (he?) sent a camera! [Edits are mine.]

Cayman Jack™ is the “Hand-Crafted Margarita” in a bottle. We’ve scoured the earth looking for blogs like yours who view life as an adventure, and when we found out you have a whole ‘Slog’ dedicated to [being awesome] in Seattle, we knew you should be one of the first sites to [get this awesome BIG BAG of SWAG].

Cayman Jack shares your adventurous spirit and because of that we’d like to give you 1 of only 15 Cayman Jack™ culture packs! These packs are custom made and include a messenger bag, a camera, [some cufflinks that are made out of tiny compasses that are really cute, some shot glasses,], and a sample of Cayman Jack™. [For some reason, they did not send the pocketknife pictured—we did not swipe it, I swear—sorry.] It’s everything you’ll need to take on your next adventure. As Cayman Jack says, “When adventure happens, take your best shot.”

The camera is this one. It seems fun to mess around with! We want to give it to you!

• SWAG.

Now, to the photo contest! To enter to win the swag-bag*, all you have to do is donate to Northwest Harvest by way of the Slog vs. People Who Are So Mad They Call Us Up to Shout at Us Holiday Charity Challenge! Then, email us your donation receipt along with a photo that you took that is adventurous, funny, beautiful, cute, miscellaneously awesome, or all of the above.

Entries will be accepted until midnight tonight, and the winning photo will be put up right here on Slog tomorrow. Just give to Northwest Harvest right now—whatever amount you can afford!

You're just great for being a giver!

*Fine print: You must come pick up your bag of swag at the Stranger offices on Capitol Hill in Seattle in the next week or so. And you must be 21 to get the free sample.

The Slog vs. People Who Are So Mad They Call Us Up to Shout at Us Holiday Charity Challenge marches on! YOU GUYS ARE SO GREAT, WE'RE SHOUTING AT YOU ABOUT IT!

Ahem... now for the winners of Friday's contest:

· The $100 gift certificate to the very, very delicious Monsoon is... Katherine, who sent this incident of magical pho (Monsoon's pho, available at lunch and weekend brunch, is goddamned great, by the way):

After I broke up with the boyfriend who led me to Seattle I contemplated leaving town over a bowl of pho—the most perfect creation! Exotic (to a Central Virginia-raised girl)! Comforting! Cheap! Suddenly I got the phone call. Cast in my first show! I'm still here. Thanks, pho!

· And out of sheer pity—even WE buy our interns coffee!—the gift of sweet, sweet (not actually necessarily sweet) caffeine in the form of a $50 gift card to Caffe Vita goes to rookypox, who wrote in:

As much as I love helping those far hungrier than myself, there's a selfish motive here. I'm an intern and meet my boss weekly at Capitol Hill's Caffe Vita. I don't complain because their soy lattes are delicious, but they aren't cheap. Help a sister out?

Do YOU want to help a sister/brother out? Donate to Northwest Harvest —whatever amount you can afford! You will also become a Slog SWASHBUCKLING HERO, if you're not one already—just include your commenter handle in the e-mail to charity@thestranger.com, and we'll set you up.

You are all magical elves.

This year, to raise money for Northwest Harvest, current and former Stranger staffers are telling stories about times people have called us up to shout at us.

My Feb. 22 feature on Seattle author Pat Thomas’ book Listen, Whitey! The Sights and Sounds of Black Power 1965-1975 didn’t provoke irate phone calls, but it did ignite an explosive response by the area’s white-supremacist cabal.

What was essentially a straightforward profile of a Caucasian man recounting in vivid prose, photos, and album artwork a historically, artistically, and politically vital (and thwarted) movement by black people over three decades ago triggered an outpouring of vitriol in the comments section of the article’s online version from readers of a blog called Unamusement Park. The piece inadvertently served as a forum for these poor, oppressed white folks to repeatedly assert the inferiority of African Americans and to cite books like Thomas’ as ammunition in the great conspiracy to diminish the power of the Caucasian race. They also accused The Stranger as being complicit in this war against YT. (Okay, guys, you caught us red-handed. We’re so embarrassed.) You can smell the paranoia and fear in their words here. A small example should suffice:

The president of your white Western country is now a half-Kenyan from Indonesia. The immigration system is now dedicated to supporting non-white invaders, and reducing US Americans to a minority in their own country. And every educational, media, corporate or government institution has uplifting black people and suppressing white people as their primary goal.

Comedy gold tin. Dear white people of Slog: Please let us know ASAP if you feel the government is suppressing you.

It’s the holidays, and people are hungry. Right now, Northwest Harvest is providing 1.7 million meals a month to hungry families across Washington. The Evergreen State is the 14th hungriest state in the country—and more than half of the people who are hungry here are children and the elderly.

It costs only 67 cents to feed a family of three a meal through Northwest Harvest.

Our quest to raise money for the very, very great Northwest Harvest, helping feed hungry people in our state right now and all year around, continues...

It costs only 67 cents to feed a family of three a meal through Northwest Harvest. As of this morning, Slog has raised $6,227! Which is so great. Let's give more, more, MORE! GIVE TO NORTHWEST HARVEST NOW and send us your commenter handle along with your receipt, and we'll set you up with a SWASHBUCKING HERO badge.

Can you be shouted at by a letter? The Slog vs. People Who Are So Mad They Call Us Up to Shout at Us Holiday Charity Challenge is all about people calling us on the phone shouting at us, but the single craziest angry reaction I ever provoked came at me by way of the mail. So old-fashioned! This was back in the summer of 2003. I had only been on staff at The Stranger for a month, I'd freelanced for about six months prior to that, and to this day I have no idea what the letter-writer was so mad about. All I know is, one day in the mail, a letter arrived. In tiny, bold-face type that covered an entire sheet of paper, it read:

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

More of interest to the authorities, there was also white powder in the envelope. Considering this was two years after the anthrax killings of 2001, authorities took that white powder very seriously. Within minutes, they'd shut down traffic on the whole block. Then FBI guys in space suits were walking through the office.

When they interviewed me, they asked if I'd written anything that might've angered someone, and I thought of about 20 different things it could've been. "I wrote a really negative movie review two weeks ago?" I remember saying. I was 22 years old and callow and wrote negative things all the time. The letter and powder constituted criminal threatening, they believed, whether the powder was or was not harmful. The fact that the sender used the US mail made the crime worse. They launched an investigation, and months later when we checked in with them they were still investigating, and truth be told I don't remember how that investigation ended. It didn't end up mattering. The white powder was tested in a lab the same day it arrived here and it was not harmful. Which was a relief. There are a lot of perfectly lovely people who work at The Stranger and pass through the mail room who have nothing to do with the jerks over in editorial writing their stupid opinions about stupid films... or whatever I'd done wrong.

As for actual shouters, there have been lots of over the years, but they usually end up in voicemail, and they're usually mentally ill, and there's no sense trotting out their sad stories for everyone else's entertainment.

Anyway! Slog's quest to raise money for the very, very great Northwest Harvest continues. As of this morning, Slog has raised $5,527 this holiday season from 124 donors. Be a giver! Just donate to Northwest Harvest right now—whatever amount you can afford! And of course, if anyone has ever shouted at you (by phone or by mail) you should give a little extra. And tell your story in the comments.

We have been on the wrong end of some angry yelling. Most recently, a man claiming to be Kenny G's manager shouted at us.

I'd say it's about time for some good yelling! LOOK! YOU CAN WIN $150 WORTH OF DELICIOUS FOOD AND COFFEE!

To enter to win a $100 gift certificate to Monsoon and a $50 gift card to Caffe Vita, all you have to do is donate to Northwest Harvest by way of the Slog vs. People Who Are So Mad They Call Us Up to Shout at Us Holiday Charity Challenge! Then, send your donation receipt to charity@thestranger.com along with 50 words (or less!) about how much you love Vietnamese food, coffee, or both!

Entries will be accepted until midnight tonight, and they will be judged by the Stranger promotions department. Be funny! Be smart! Be creative! Be sincere! Whatever! Just give to Northwest Harvest right now—whatever amount you can afford!

You will also become a Slog SWASHBUCKLING HERO, if you're not one already—just include your commenter handle in the e-mail to charity@thestranger.com, and we'll set you up.

Good luck! And THANK YOU for being so kind this holiday season.

This year, to raise money for Northwest Harvest, current and former Stranger staffers are telling stories about times people have called us up to shout at us.

The stupid weekly "New Column!" is a longstanding Stranger tradition. I imagine Wm. Steven Humphrey invented it, and a recurring joke has been to have stupid fake "guest columns" from celebrities who typically addressed an issue that rhymed with their name. (See Goin' Gay with Dr. Dre and My Thoughts on NATO by Dana Plato.)

Eventually, we ran out of rhymes—but not before we ran a "New Column!" "written" by a semi-famous Q13 news anchor of the late '90s, entitled Rambling Filler by Leslie Miller. As you can read, it was just a bunch of crud a news anchor might say while trying to fill dead air—but boy did it make the Q13 news director angry.

So angry was the Q13 news director—Todd Mokhtari was his name—that he called The Stranger and left a furious voicemail on the answering machine of publisher Tim Keck. The following week, we published the text of this voicemail as a "New Column!" called You Better Say Sorry by Todd Mokhtari. Enjoy!

It costs only 67 cents to feed a family of three a meal through Northwest Harvest. As of this morning, Slog has raised $4,897! Which is so great. Let's give more, more, MORE! GIVE TO NORTHWEST HARVEST NOW and send us your commenter handle along with your receipt, and we'll set you up with a SWASHBUCKING HERO badge.

This year, to raise money for Northwest Harvest, current and former Stranger staffers are telling stories about times people have called us up to shout at us. Andy Spletzer was the film editor of The Stranger from 1991 to 2000.

In 1995, The Stranger was just a few years old. There was no such thing as an internet version of this or any paper, much less Slog. Once the distro squad took each issue off the street and replaced by a new one, that was it. Reviews were only kept by parents and hoarders.

I never heard from film directors except when publicists set up interviews, and I never really got letters about my film reviews. Sometimes I would see people reading them in Cafe Paradiso, but mostly I was writing for myself and my coworkers. I do remember that after my review of The Indian in the Cupboard, Nancy in sales told me she hadn't planned on seeing it until she read my review. That felt good.

You see, my take on this very strange movie about a boy who is given a wooden cabinet for his birthday, one that happens to bring toys to life, is that it's a coming of age film about a young boy's first sexual feelings. Specifically, it's about a gay awakening, as young Omri brings a half-naked, anatomically correct American Indian to life and doesn't want to share his little male fantasy figure.

So I was sitting in the Honeycomb Hideout, our nickname for the cubicle that all the arts editors shared, when my phone buzzed: “Andy, Frank Oz is on the phone for you.”

“Put him through,” I said as I wrapped up my conversation with my fellow editors. But by the time I picked up the phone, the call had gone to voicemail. Having just gotten a compliment on the review, I thought he might have been calling to commend me on promoting this family film to a new audience.

He left a voicemail:

Andy Spleeetzor, or whatever your name is, my name is Frank Oz. I'm just reading your review in The Stranger of The Indian in the Cupboard. I've been in the business for a long time, and I don't mind a critique, and I don’t mind one that is critical of my work, but you know… YOU ARE A FUCKING HORSE'S ASS. You don’t have a CLUE as to what you are talking about. The thing that just GNAWS at me is when I see little people, working at these little horse-shit rag papers, suddenly think they’re experts on CINEMA and FILM, and they understand the story. You're a fucking dickhead, and I hope… I'm going to be in Seattle in about two weeks. I hope I get a chance to meet you.

Not the reaction I expected. Of course, because Frank Oz was the voice of so many famous Muppets, from Fozzy Bear to Miss Piggy to Yoda, and because The Stranger is The Stranger, we ran a transcript of the voicemail as a letter to the editor… in a word balloon coming out of Grover's mouth.

Obviously something got under his skin about my review, and I don't think it was my calling it a bad but fascinating film. No, I think he objected to me calling it a gay coming-of-age film (an interpretation I stand by).

I'd also like to believe that my review was in the back of his mind when Frank Oz chose his next project: In & Out, the one where Kevin Kline plays a closeted high school teacher who's outed by a former student on national TV. Then again, maybe it's a coincidence.

It costs only 67 cents to feed a family of three a meal through Northwest Harvest. As of this morning, Slog has raised $4,672! That's awesome, but only 99 individual donors have given so far. We can do better than that! GIVE TO NORTHWEST HARVEST NOW and send us your commenter handle along with your receipt, and we'll set you up with a SWASHBUCKING HERO badge.

Our quest to raise money for the very, very great Northwest Harvest continues...

So far Slog has raised $ $4,567 to help! EXCELLENT.

And the winner of yesterday's SEAFOOD DELIGHT haiku contest is the wonderful bitethemailman, aka Adam, who says, "I have donated $20 to NWH because no one should ever be hungry. And, something about being a Swashbuckling Hero." BEHOLD his masterpiece:

Two blue rubber bands
I shot them across the room
Lobster Night

bitethemailman/Adam wins a $100 gift certificate to Kevin Davis's Blueacre Seafood, courtesy of Dine Around Seattle.

Be a giver like him! Just donate to Northwest Harvest right now—whatever amount you can afford!

You will also become a Slog SWASHBUCKLING HERO, if you're not one already—just send us your commenter handle along with your receipt, and we'll set you up. HEROES UNITE on Slog!

This was the line last year at the Cherry Street Food Bank. I posted this exact photo a year ago, but I'm posting it again. I walk past this place all the time, and the line gets really long this time of year.

The people in this photo were the lucky ones. The line was moving pretty slowly, and behind them, it went around the corner and all the way back to James Street.

Don't get me wrong... Kenny G, people yelling, swashbuckling things on your comments! Those are fun reasons to donate. But it's for these folks right here. You can contribute to Northwest Harvest, which supplies the Cherry Street Food Bank and lots of others, by donating RIGHT HERE to Slog's annual charity bonanza.

Thank you, Sloggers.

MERE SHOUTING WILL NOT STOP THE SLOG CHARITY CHALLENGE! We're putting all that behind us and continuing to raise money for the very, very great Northwest Harvest, helping feed hungry people across our state this holiday season.

So far Slog has raised $3,367 to help! YAY, SLOG!!!

Today's contest: Along with your donation receipt, just send in your original haiku about seafood, and you will be entered to win a $100 gift certificate to Kevin Davis's Blueacre Seafood, courtesy of Dine Around Seattle. Haikus will be accepted until midnight tonight, and they will be judged by the Stranger promotions department on syllable-number, creativity, and humor and/or pathos. The winner of SEAFOOD DELIGHT will be announced tomorrow.

Just give to Northwest Harvest right now—whatever amount you can afford!

You will also become a Slog SWASHBUCKLING HERO, if you're not one already—just include your commenter handle, and we'll set you up. Ah, the sea!!! And YOU are a HERO for helping!

As Slog readers know, earlier this week we launched the Slog vs. Kenny G Holiday Charity Challenge to raise money for the hungry this holiday season. We have a successful track record here at Slog of choosing some person/organization/thing and then challenging them to a fundraising-off without telling them. Last year, the Slog vs. Gawker Holiday Charity Challenge—which we did not tell Gawker about, and which Gawker maybe still doesn't know about—raised $29,327.21 for Northwest Harvest. Considering Northwest Harvest can feed a family of three for only 67 cents, that did a world of good for some of the neediest people in the Northwest.

So this year we were brainstorming about who to go toe-to-toe with for the holiday auction. The Seattle Times? Rob McKenna? Pit bulls? Then someone said "Kenny G?" And Kenny G it was! For no particular reason! Smooth-jazz hit maker! Haver of extra long hair! From the Northwest! Rumored to have been former Stranger managing editor Bradley Steinbacher's babysitter! Probably a total sweetheart! Music editor Emily Nokes drew a very lovely portrait of Kenny G for the charity-challenge artwork…

…and the Slog vs. Kenny G Holiday Charity Challenge was on!

UNTIL!

Until Kenny G's manager caught whiff of it. Whoa, boy, Kenny G's manager is pissed. Lordy, he's mad. Or at least he said he was Kenny G's manager. Seemed like he was Kenny G's manager. He was so mad, we thought for a minute it was a radio-station prank. On Wednesday, he called and yelled at our managing editor Bethany Jean Clement, who is one of the calmest and most understanding people on Earth. He screamed at her that it is vitally important that everyone know that Kenny G is not now and was never involved in the Slog vs. Kenny G Holiday Charity Challenge. He yelled, "HOW DARE YOU!"

Bethany attempted to explain that it was just a stupid joke and that Sloggers have a sense of humor. Kenny G's manager shouted from his office in Los Angeles, "I HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR!" He called Bethany, Slog, and Northwest Harvest itself "DECEITFUL!" Did we mention Kenny G's manager sounded very angry? Bethany was not the only Stranger staffer Kenny G's manager reamed out over the phone.

Anyway, the human ball of anger who identified himself as Kenny G's manager will not rest until we put a stop to the Slog vs. Kenny G Holiday Charity Challenge. After insisting we add a disclaimer that Kenny G was not and is not involved in the Slog vs. Kenny G Holiday Charity Challenge, he shouted: "DON'T DO IT AGAIN!" So, after four great days and more than $2,000 raised for hungry people in our state, the Slog vs. Kenny G Holiday Charity Challenge is over. Because we have a better idea now.

Effectively immediately, we are changing this year's fundraising drive to the Slog vs. People Who Are So Mad They Call Us Up to Shout at Us Holiday Charity Challenge! So the Kenny G art is going away (sad smooth-jazz trombone!!) and Emily has drawn a replacement image of what she imagines Kenny G's manager looked like when he was shouting at us:

You're not gonna keep us from raising money for Northwest Harvest, Kenny G's manager! Your anger is no match for the generosity of Slog. If you haven't given yet, now is the time! Click here to stick it to people who are so mad they call us up to shout at us, while also giving the homeless and the hungry a leg up this season. Forward us your receipt and your commenter handle and we'll tag all your comments with a SWASHBUCKLING HERO badge. If you've already donated something, consider giving a little more, just to let Kenny G's manager know where you stand.

So the charity challenge artwork has changed...

…and starting next week, Slog staffers will be regaling you with stories of past encounters with people who were so mad at us about something we wrote that they called us up to shout at us. THERE HAVE BEEN MANY. Also, if you've ever been screamed at by random people over the holidays, tell us the story in the comments. This is going to be the best holiday season on Slog yet.