Should we wish there were pictures?

Are you perplexed by trannies? Fret no more—two hot transsexuals graciously answer all of your invasive questions, including

What’s your real name?

Have you had surgery?

What does your real voice sound like?

Are you a he or a she?

Thanks for the tip, Ethan.

What the fuck, babies? What's the matter with you? You aren't hungry? You think food is a joke? Milk doesn't grow on trees, babies. I mean, why even bother eating? Why bother eating that milk if you're just going to firehose it all over daddy's mustache? Do you think mustaches grow on trees? He spent a lot of time on that mustache, baby. Growing it, combing it, trimming it, stroking it. Now it's full of your sour stank stomach milk and there's no washing that shit off. You are an inconsiderate peasant and if I could take back that peekaboo game you roped me into in line at Safeway yesterday I WOULD. Babies.

From: Julie Cascioppo
Date: July 23, 2009 1:55:13 PM PDT
Subject: Hello from Julie Cascioppo, one of Ballards Finest Treasures!
To: brendan@thestranger.com

Behold the moxie!

Susan Hutchison—the King County Executive candidate who refuses to admit she's a Republican—has now refused to fill out a NARAL questionnaire about her stance on abortion and women's reproductive rights in general, instead issuing this nice bit of evasion:

In lieu of the NARAL questionnaire, I provide this statement which I have provided as well to those who represent themselves as Pro-Life.

The issues surrounding abortion are not relevant to the King County executive race. This is the most divisive issue in America today, with strongly held opinions on both sides. I am not in this race to divide, but to bring people together to solve the complex problems of our county regarding the economy, jobs, transportation, budget deficits, land use, sewage, public safety and growth.

That said, I will uphold the laws of the land.

She appears to have no understanding of the role the county plays in providing health care to women.

Why am I not feeling brought together with people?

More from NARAL after the jump.

Continue reading »

Even though he clearly sold his soul when he took the job of Miss California USA pageant director, you kind of have to feel for this Keith Lewis character.

Baby fight! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

It's so hard to be a [foreign] baby.

Update: In case you had trouble following the storyline of this video—and to preserve it before it is stricken from the record forever—allow me to direct you to the masterful play-by-play currently on "Dur dur d'être bébé!"'s Wikipedia page. After the jump.

Continue reading »

Thanks, Brad.

Ummmm... too soon?

Sean-

Wow. I'm sitting here, watching Bush fly out of the White House, and Barack enter. Such a glorious day, regardless of what you think of Bush. Barack... definitely a new era in U.S. History. I, personally, am quite excited.

Anyhow, that's not why I'm writing.

Any word on coverage for Sweet Water's CD release show for "Clear The Tarmac", February 7th at Neumo's? Let me know, thanks.

Take care,

XXXX
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XXXX XXXXXXXXXX
PUBLICIST NAME/FIRM REDACTED

Let's begin with the opening lines of Lawrence Vambe's remarkable history of pre-colonial Zimbabwe, An Ill-Fated People.

Almost as soon as you began to be able to absorb facts and to recognize human and animal forms you saw dogs everywhere. There was an infinity of dogs, little, big, tame or vicious dogs whose physical condition largely depended on what they could sniff and scavenge out of the village garbage heap rather than on the generosity and animal-loving nature of their masters.

Now, let's isolate (or bracket) and give thought to this line: "...the generosity and animal-loving nature of their masters." What type of generosity is this? The generosity that we find in a dog owner has its cause in the curious human need for something that is needy. Humans have the need to be needed. The dog owner needs the dog's neediness. And the dog is loyal because its needs are met by the owner; and the owner's need for being needed is satisfied by the dog's complete dependence. And the more the dog depends on the master, the more love it gets from the owner. This is why certain dog owners often compare the care of a dog to the raising of a child—a child has nothing but needs. And the only thing we can fully trust is a thing that gives us all of its needs.

A person whose worst fear is betrayal is the sort of person who owns a dog.

Once the relationship between the dog and its owner is established, there is a strange development. The dog owner allows the dog to take control of more and more of his/her life. But this reward of control is in the context of the exchange of needs—the need for being needed that is satisfied by the absolute neediness, the dog. (Cats are not needy.) So, when a dog owner says, "I do not walk my dog, the dog walks me," this is the need for being needed in its state of freedom. Because the dog has surrendered all of its needs, it is permitted to dominate the need that needs its neediness.

The end result of this domination finds its expression in the dog owner picking up his/her dog's shit. For many of us, picking up dog poop during walks in the park or the city street is the very reason why we do not own the creature. We have no access to the pleasure of being fully needed. (We prefer cats.) Indeed, the owner of the dog wants us to see him/her picking up the poop. The visibility of the lowly act adds to the first pleasure—being dominated by the need the feeds your neediness. Everyone knows it's disgusting, and the dog owner knows that what they are doing disgusts others, but they are indifferent to our disgust because all they see in this picking up (a raw aufhebung), and what they want us to see, is an absolute love of the thing that needs it absolutely. Holding the poop in his/her hand, the dog owner is showing us the power of this love. We cannot love like them. The dog owner's love is beyond us.

Now hanging, on the internet, What Your Senior Portrait Says About You.

^{© jimmypetran's flickr photostream}