
Good God: Whitney is still dead.
Oh Christ: Jennifer Hudson will replace her at the Grammys tonight.
Holy Fuck: Mitt wins the Maine caucuses.
Hallelujah! Why same-sex marriage is inevitable.
Lord Have Mercy on Our Souls: Charlie and Braden Powell are finally laid to rest.
Sweet Jesus: Catholic service providers are mum about impact of contraceptive rules on their health plans.
Heavens to Betsy: The fear of lawsuits for rejecting gay-marriage-related business is mostly false.
Amen: That's all. Sorry.
Jesus Children of America: By Stevie Wonder:
She was 48. Just this morning, the big news was that Houston was approached to be a judge on The X-Factor. Sad news. Read more here, and on Line Out.
It's Saturday, you guys! Can you believe it?
The Wictims Win: President Obama bows to the American Catholic church by withdrawing the White House's plan to require private employers (including religious organizations, like all those Catholic hospitals) to provide health insurance that covers contraception. Instead, insurance companies will be required to provide that coverage free of charge. The compromise with Catholics may seem like a miracle, considering that Obama is a Muslim. But the red-wing blogs, bloviators, and email alerts were just getting going. It's hard to imagine Obama being able to comfortably skirt this issue while seeking reelection to the White House. Here's the NYT quoting Obama explaining that it was largely a political calculation:
“After the many genuine concerns that have been raised over the last few weeks, as well as, frankly, the more cynical desire on the part of some to make this into a political football, it became clear that spending months hammering out a solution was not going to be an option,” Mr. Obama said on Friday.
My TCW: The religious liberty and conscience argument being raised by the Catholic church, which is ostensibly worried about paying for birth control, (and legislators who are expressing concern about florists and photographers being forced to serve gay couples) has less to do with contraception and gay marriage, and more to do with a clever sleight of hand. No longer is the Catholic Church bullying women and LGBT people, in this framing, they're the victims being forced to forgo their religious convictions. It's a trick and it's working.
Obama Budget: "Raise taxes on the rich and pump nearly $500 billion into new transportation projects over the next decade."
Yup: I'll take the jumper.
In Pressing Media Matters: Five of Murdcoch's people at the Sun tabloid were arrested for allegedly bribing bobbies. And in case you wondered: My worst nightmare is accidentally taking a job that requires me to write this sort of story.
Less Bad: State finds an extra $200 million to shore up $1.5 billion budget shortfall.
WHAT?!!! There is no more news.
I've reached the point in my life where I'm strong enough to say this: I really like Wham!

One of the most rewarding parts of the latest season of RuPaul's Drag Race—along with Jiggly Caliente, Sharon Needles, and the lightly bearded pit crew member—is witnessing the extended influence of Venus Xtravaganza, one of the many fascinating subjects of Paris Is Burning, Jennie Livingston's 1990 documentary about the New York drag ball scene and the people who make it fabulous. The film is packed with amazing people, but Venus is one of the ones that sticks with you, not just for her stunning vulnerability and beauty, but for the tragic containment of her story within the film. (Spoiler alert: Near the end of Paris Is Burning, Venus' house mother Angie Xtravaganza tells of the heartbreaking murder of Venus Xtravaganza.)
So what a joy it is to see sparks of Venus flying out of the mouths of so many of RuPaul's 21st-century drag racers. Here's Venus delivering the 20-second riff that will supply drag queens with catchphrases for eternity.
(Also, have you seen Paris Is Burning lately? If you haven't seen it in over ten years, watch it immediately and be clobbered by its amazements. It may as well be the best documentary ever made (after Hoop Dreams), and it's available now on Netflix Streaming.)
The Rock says politics are definitely in his future:
Right now the best way that I can impact the world is through entertainment. One day, and that day will come, I can impact the world through politics. The great news is that I am American, therefore I can become President. But don't forget: I am G.I. Joe.
I will watch The Rock in anything. Yes, even Doom. And I think, God help me, I would probably vote for The Rock, too, if the elected office wasn't too important. He seems like such a nice guy! So let's assume The Rock lives in your state. What is the highest office to which you would elect The Rock?
She is beautiful. She is Rachel Weisz. She is getting a little older. She is 41. She uses L’Oréal Revitalift Repair 10 to keep looking young. It works. It's science, not magic.
There is such a thing as looking too perfect, at least when it comes to Britain’s Advertising Standards Authority. The organization recently banned Oscar-winning actress Rachel Weisz’s L’Oréal Revitalift Repair 10 advertisement, saying that it “misleadingly exaggerated” the anti-wrinkle cream’s ability to create smoother and more even-looking skin. While Weisz herself was complimented by the ASA for her luminous skin, the organization determined that the black-and-white image was altered to make her look even better, which is a violation of their standards.
As Charles already pointed out, Clint Eastwood's Chrysler Superbowl ad seemed like a commercial for the Obama Administration. And conservatives are already punching back at Eastwood for it. Karl Rove was "offended" by the ad. (Mitt Romney, always ahead of the times, wrote his response to the ad back in 2008.) The backpedaling continues on National Review's The Corner blog, where Christian Schneider breaks out the snark:
It makes sense that Chrysler would want Clint Eastwood to narrate its “Halftime in America” Super Bowl ad; the stoic, gravelly 82-year-old actor exudes old-school charm. His mere presence harkens back to a pre-auto-bailout day when people paid for American cars by actually purchasing them, not by filling out their 1040EZ tax forms. (Although Eastwood represents modern America fairly well, too, as he has fathered seven children with five different women.)
I love when Schneider responds to Eastwood's claims that he's "seen a lot of tough eras, a lot of downturns in my life" with a dismissive "Huh?" Eastwood was born at the very beginning of the Great Depression, which was a pretty big downturn, I think, and he was a boy during World War II, which was kind of a tough era. But the best part, as always, is when the commenters get into the act:
Thanks a lot, Clint, for moving to the dark side. Apparently, at 82, he isn't as aware as he used to be and didn't realize there was an undercurrent of politics in the ad. I can't imagine any other reason why a guy who seems to want the best for this country - a guy who was once a Republican - would appear in a pro-union, pro-Democratic. pro-Obama ad.
Surprising to see Eastwood, a self-described libertarian, as spokesman for welfare queen Chrysler.
No one's going to hear the roar of anything if the auto industry keeps pushing tiny vehicles (the failed Fiat for example), some of which don't even have a combustion engine.
The man is a serial impregnater.
Roseanne Barr is running for president:
“I am running for Green Party nominee for POTUS. I am an official candidate. I am4 the Greening of America&the world. Green=peace/justice,” she wrote on Twitter.
This actually isn't the first time Roseanne has announced she's running for president. She did so back in August, too, so we know she's doubly serious.
But here's the thing: Roseanne is pro-pot and anti-war. Maybe Ron Paul fans should throw their support behind Roseanne. She's got the issues they believe in, and to my knowledge, she doesn't consort with white supremacists or plot Aryan libertarian paradises in the Caribbean, so she's actually a stronger candidate. I think Roseanne Barr is more likely to become president than Ron Paul, anyway.
It's not called Black Velvet (booooo!), but this seems to be real:
Coffee's never been scarier (you can use that, David Lynch! And "Black Velvet"!). He's got light (not blonde), medium, and dark roast.
In a radio interview yesterday, Newt Gingrich said Brad Pitt should play him in a movie about his life:
"No, I don't look like him at all," Gingrich said. "He's thinner, he's better looking, he's younger. But you asked me if I could have anyone who could play me in a movie, why not go for Brad Pitt?"
That...that could actually be the smartest thing Newt Gingrich has ever said, although I would have had to seriously consider voting for him if he picked Cate Blanchett.
Or are they pretty much cool with being annually called out on their racism? Or do they just do it for the free publicity? (If that's the case, sorry for contributing.)
Once again, Vanity Fair's big ol' "The Newest/Coolest/Freshest/Hottest People You Should Look At Right Now" cover, which is almost always a fold-out, puts all the people of color on the folded part that you can't see on newsstands. AGAIN. Jezebel breaks down their history of it, with photographic evidence:
In 2008, it was Zoë Saldana and America Ferrera.
...
2005: Rosario Dawson, Ziyi Zhang and Kerry Washington, on the right and not the left.
2004: Salma Hayek and Lucy Liu, on the right and not the left power panel.
...
In 2001, no black ladies were pushed aside because no black ladies were photographed!
But it's so, so worth the outrage to see those 1995 and 1996 covers, right? (No, seriously, go look.)
Only a few weeks ago, I was blissfully unaware of her existence. Now she is everywhere (but at least she's getting called on her monstrosity).
WOW. just, WOW:
In a new interview with Men's Journal, Mark Wahlberg says that world history would have been different had he not made a fortuitous decision to fly to Toronto a week early and thus avoid boarding one of the planes out of Boston that crashed into the World Trade Center on September 11th.
"If I was on that plane with my kids, it wouldn’t have went down like it did," he tells the magazine. "There would have been a lot of blood in that first-class cabin and then me saying, 'OK, we’re going to land somewhere safely, don’t worry.'"
Wahlberg has since apologized for the comment but it's too late: We all know what is in his heart. And personally, I'm torn. Micky Ward could've taken those terrorists, no problem. But Dirk Diggler?
This calls for a motherfucking Slog poll.
Call me a prude (PRUDE!), but I don't think seeing Jason Alexander grope a fame-hungry 17-year-old girl is very funny. Especially with her 51-year-old husband sitting there. Especially after reading her Twitter feed.
She's a lesbian (and she's been with the same lady for two decades!)
Congrats, better late than never, etc. (And thank you, Towleroad.)
I'm sure the fact that he's a hot celebrity has nothing to do with this.
James Franco, the actor-writer-producer-graduate student, has signed a publishing deal with Amazon's fledgling publishing house, the Observer reports.
It will be Franco's first novel, tentatively titled "Actors Anonymous," and said to be loosely based on his own life.
It's all about literary merit at Amazon.com.
Hey, look! It's that New Year's-themed video you've already seen everywhere else on the internet today, staring Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt:
Fuck those other bullshit Santas, my vote's for Mack Henry.
You may or may not remember Larry wasn't too big on Watch the Throne, but Friday night's show converted him.
Slog tipper Nic sent along Adam Carolla's anti-Occupy rant:
This strikes me as the most relevant part:
It’s like, instead of lookin’ in the mirror and go, “Why the fuck am I not doin’ better?” You just find some guy who’s got more shit than you and go “Hey man, what do you need all that shit for?”
It’s the same version of, “Hey man, what do you need an MVP trophy for?”
“‘Cause I bust my ass. That’s why. Or maybe I’m just genetically better than you. Either way, buddy. I got the trophy, so shut the fuck up and get the fuck back to work, or better yet: on the bench, where you belong.”
This is what’s going on. So.
I love it when rich people manage to convince themselves that they managed to climb to greatness all by themselves.Of course it doesn't have anything to do with a booby-trapped playing field that rewards the wealthy with even more wealth. No, the cream rises to the top, and those who are up there absolutely deserve it because they worked really hard. The sweat you expend translates directly into the dollars you earn, because this is America.
Why on Earth wouldn't you want to make sure that every child born in America is given the right to good health care and a decent education? Because that fucking mewling infant is a fucking parasite, and Adam Carolla is a glittering golden god who worked his way to the top and that baby didn't go a goddamned thing, so fuck him. Fuck that stupid baby.
How the hell is a person supposed to correctly say Beyonce?
The first level of disagreement regards the matter of "Bay" or "Bee." Which is it?
And the second level is this: The Internet says we should emphasize the last syllable, but popular usage seems to emphasize the "Yon" rather than the "Say."
What say you?
The actual Handsomest Male Celebrity on Earth Right Now is not you, but Chris Pratt, who plays the lovable doofus Andy on Parks & Recreation, is married to the beautiful and gifted Ana Faris, and—squeeeeeee!—is appearing at the Paramount on Saturday night as part of Rainn Wilson's comedy benefit extravaganza.
Here's footage of Pratt bring interviewed by Ellen alongside another fake Sexiest Man Alive, Brad Pitt.
It's true! Ricky Gervais is hosting the Golden Globes for a second time. Last year's Golden Globes was the most watchable awards show to come out in the last decade. Let's hope Gervais beats Billy fucking Crystal's Undead Celebrity Blowjob Oscarcast to death with his giant ratings.
(Thanks to Slog tipper Smacko.)
UPDATE: Slog tipper Chason alerted me to this breaking news:
In a shocking announcement today, the Oscar committee decided to replace Billy Crystal as host with a Redbox Machine. “Don’t get me wrong, Billy’s a great host,” said a representative speaking under condition of anonymity, “but it occurred to us that he might do his stupid blues character, and no one wants to see that.”
By purchasing a portrait of the magnificent lady beast for your own.

Well, okay, that's a lie. But Billy fucking Crystal is hosting the Oscars this year, so I'm sure as hell not going to watch them.
First Andy Rooney. Then Bil Keane. Everyone knows these things come in threes. WHICH ELDERLY, ANNOYING FAMOUS PERSON WILL BE NEXT???
I guess now that man-baby Brett Ratner is not producing the Oscars, Eddie Murphy can't be bothered, either. This means I have to join the chorus of bloggers and Twitterers who are begging for Neil Patrick Harris to take up the hosting duties. Hugh Jackman was a little too slick for my tastes, and if it's Billy fucking Crystal, I'm boycotting the Oscars entirely this year.
(Correction: The headline has been changed from "Authors" to "Oscars." I am the books editor, all right.)
See you in Sweden, Snow White.