Slog

News & Arts

Line Out

Music & Nightlife

Animals

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Cat-Scratch Fever

Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Wed, Nov 18, 2009 at 9:00 AM

Los Angeles joins neighboring cities in banning cat declawing.

Ill cut you!
  • g e o ff r e y / Stranger flickr
  • "I'll cut you!"

Thanks, Leslie Dean.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Isabella Rossellini in Green Porno

Posted by Jen Graves on Tue, Nov 17, 2009 at 10:53 AM

"If I lived in the depths of de abyss, it would be dark..."

She is dressed up as a squid having sex.

This is why she is coming to Seattle tomorrow to speak.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Beaver Pees on Face: Another SFW Video

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Fri, Nov 13, 2009 at 10:26 AM

A morning news anchor gets a face full of beaver urine. I don't know, man. This whole "water sports fetish" thing is just too kinky for me.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Rep. Tom Rooney: Pythons Need to Be Stopped

Posted by Lindy West on Fri, Nov 6, 2009 at 12:25 PM

GO BACK TO BURMA, FREELOADER.
  • GO BACK TO BURMA, FREELOADER.
Via Politico:

Today, Rooney is telling everyone who will listen (mainly those attending the House Judiciary Subcommittee on Crime, Terrorism, and Homeland Security hearing) about how these pythons are destructive killers and need to be stopped from entering our country.

Fucking pythons. Slithering into this country, taking jobs away from hardworking, warm-blooded Americans. Fucking legless assholes. Don't even speak English.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Bald! Bears! Bad Times!

Posted by Lindy West on Wed, Nov 4, 2009 at 4:00 PM

Spectacled bear, normal-style.
  • Spectacled bear, normal-style.
As you probably know (PAY ATTENTION), I care very deeply about bear issues.

Today in the Daily Mail: Leipzig's bespectacled lady-bears are going bald! AND NOT EVEN SCIENCE KNOWS WHY.

The sudden hair loss has affected all female bears at the zoo.

Some experts believe it could be due to a genetic defect though the animals do not seem to be suffering from any other affliction.

A picture of Dolores, one of the afflicted, is after the jump. JUST WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE IT, MAN!!!

Continue reading »

Update! Pit Bulls Not Killers After All (at Least This Time)

Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Wed, Nov 4, 2009 at 2:15 PM

Apparently a hoax.
  • Apparently a hoax.

Remember when three pit bulls killed another dog at Magnuson Park? Never happened, according to Grisha Stewart of Ahimsa Dog Training in Ballard (though pit bulls apparently did break the leg of a husky at the park). She has "an inside source" at Animal Control, she said—here's the report from her blog:

Here are the facts of the Boxer story, as told to me by Animal Control:

There was a senior boxer at the water with a small dog, and there was a scuffle with pit bull—type dogs. The owner was not bald, but had short hair. He did have tattoos. The scuffle seemed to be of the ‘normal’ type that dog park fans see a lot of, with a lot of bluster but no injuries. I’m sure it was still scary for all involved. The boxer was never taken to the vet.

No report has been filed by the Boxer’s owner, and she probably wishes this would all just go away (I had heard from another source that her husband didn’t want the dog at the park in the first place). Therefore, animal control is no longer doing special patrols, just the regular ones.

After weeks of the mystery owner being unidentified, Animal Control got her name and made a visit, 3 weeks after the events at Magnuson. The Boxer had no signs of injury and the woman reported no injuries. Given how much this story has been stretched, I feel like we have no real information on who started the scuffle (versus it being an unprovoked attack), among other things.

The Husky incident is being dealt with by the police, not Seattle Animal Control. I’m not sure why. The Husky did get a broken leg. It may or not have been the same dogs who fought with the Husky as the previous week with the Boxer.

Stewart is asking her source to contact The Stranger to confirm that the "DOG KILLED" signs were a hoax. Dan Savage denies any involvement.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Re: Save the Planet!

Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Mon, Nov 2, 2009 at 1:30 PM

Dogs should have to work—pulling SUVs.

Mush!
  • Studio Narvaez / Stranger Flickr
  • Mush!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Headline of the Day, Strip-Club-and-Pit-Bulls Edition

Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Wed, Oct 28, 2009 at 12:17 PM

Chloe--Sexy Little Pitbull by LizaDanger1 from The Strangers Flickr pool
  • "Chloe--Sexy Little Pitbull" by LizaDanger1 from The Stranger's Flickr pool

Strip Club Owner Snubbed By Gingrich Names Pit Bull Shelter After Him

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Really Big Shark Bitten in Half By Even Bigger Really Big Shark

Posted by Lindy West on Tue, Oct 27, 2009 at 10:33 AM

sharkbite.jpg
Let me get this straight, Australia. You're a huge barren desert, you're crawling with baby-eating mega-spiders and snakes that can turn a man to stone with one venomous glance and saltwater crocodiles so fast they can travel back in time and eat you twice, and your beautiful, tantalizing coastlines are packed with invisible death jellies and ravenous twenty-foot sharks? Oh, but the surfing is really, really good. Okay.


Anyway:

Concerns were raised after a 3m great white shark was found dead with two huge bites taken out of its body. Experts believe the bites were made by an even larger predatory fish.

"Whatever attacked and took chunks out of this big shark must be massive," said Ashton Smith, 19. "I've heard about the big one that's lurking out there somewhere."

Australia is not so much a country as it is a snack delivery system for horrifying beasts.

Swimmers have been warned to stay out of the waters.

But that's exactly what the sabretooth kangaroos WANT!!! Don't play their game!

Friday, October 23, 2009

On Bears: Stupid Russian Ideas Edition

Posted by Lindy West on Fri, Oct 23, 2009 at 11:11 AM

cuttingedgebear.jpg
In response to my column this week, Slog tipper Tom alerted me to this story:

MOSCOW, Russia (CNN) — A bear on ice skates attacked two people during rehearsals at a circus in Bishkek, the capital of Kyrgyzstan, killing one of them, Kyrgyz officials said Friday.

In the incident, which happened Thursday, the 5-year-old animal killed the circus administrator, Dmitry Potapov, and mauled an animal trainer, who was attempting to rescue him.

"The incident occurred during a rehearsal by the Russian state circus company troupe which was performing in Bishkek with the program, Bears on Ice," Ministry of Culture and Information director Kurmangazy Isanayev told reporters.

After the incident, the circus was cordoned off by police and emergency service workers. Experts have been brought in to examine the bear, which was shot and died at the scene.

Russia has a long-standing tradition of training bears to perform tricks such as riding motorcycles, ice skating, and playing hockey. Fatal attacks are unusual.

I wonder what those "experts" will discover upon examining the bear. Hopefully something illuminating like, oh, SOMEONE STRAPPED BLADES TO THIS BEAR'S FEET AND WENT ICE SKATING WITH IT.

Monday, October 19, 2009

On Bears: Part IV of III

Posted by Lindy West on Mon, Oct 19, 2009 at 3:46 PM

BONUS BEAR ATTACK!!!

PART IV: WHEN YOU WERE A BABY BEAR, WERE YOU BIT BY A HUMAN?


On Bears, Part III of III

Posted by Lindy West on Mon, Oct 19, 2009 at 12:51 PM

This is Hugh Glass before.
  • This is Hugh Glass before.
PART III: HUGH GLASS, RELUCTANT PIRATE

This is my favorite bear attack story of all time. Hugh Glass was a hella grizzled frontiersman—"a sailor, a reluctant pirate with Jean Lafitte, and an honorary Pawnee"—whose hella-grizzledness helped him survive the most badass ordeal in the history of asses:

Near the forks of the Grand River in present-day Perkins County, in August 1823, while scouting alone for game for the expedition's larder, Glass surprised a Grizzly mother bear with her two cubs. Before he could fire his rifle, the bear charged, picked him up, and threw him to the ground. Glass got up, grappled for his knife, and fought back, stabbing the animal repeatedly as the grizzly raked him time and again with her claws.

Despite his injuries, Glass regained consciousness. He did so only to find himself abandoned, without weapons or equipment, suffering from a broken leg, the cuts on his back exposing bare ribs, and all his wounds festering. Glass lay mutilated and alone, more than 200 mi (320 km) from the nearest settlement at Fort Kiowa on the Missouri.

SO WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO THEN, HUGH GLASS?

Continue reading »

Friday, October 16, 2009

Thank You, Internet

Posted by David Schmader on Fri, Oct 16, 2009 at 3:32 PM

Sarah McLachlan speaks out, soulfully, about internet cruelty to animals.

Bless you, writer/producer/director Crystal Delahanty.

(Also, the pug in the toilet totally wins.)

Thursday, October 15, 2009

On Bears, Part II of III

Posted by Lindy West on Thu, Oct 15, 2009 at 10:37 AM

(Continued from yesterday.)

PART II: KESAGAKE

I just..wanted...some COOOOOOOORN!!!
  • "I just..wanted...some COOOOOOOORN!!!"
Now, Old Two Toes was a frightening bear, there can be no doubt. But just one year before he devoured Frank Welch, 61, and subsequently lost his life in the high forests of Wyoming, an even more fearsome beast was chomping humans on the other side of the world. His name was Kesagake.

Back in 1915, you see, before every inch of Japan was covered in electric lobsters and time-traveling phone booths and bearproof karaoke pods, they still had things like snow and villages and bears. And in one such snowy village, some very bad shit went down. Kesagake, the bear, awoke early from his hibernation. Fuck! He was sooo hungry! He went to the cottage of the Otu family, looking for delicious corn. Instead, he found a delicious lady and a baby, so he ate them.

The villagers formed an armed guard to find Kesagake and exact revenge. Kesagake fled into the woods, leading all the guardsmen on a mad chase down what they thought was his bear trail. But then Kesagake was all, "PSYCH, BITCHEZ!" and doubled back to the Miyoke house, where everyone else was hiding. THEN HE ATE THEM.

Continue reading »

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

On Bears, Part I of III

Posted by Lindy West on Wed, Oct 14, 2009 at 4:15 PM

I thought I was about to get laid and eat some delicious peanut butter, but instead all I found was a mouthful of nylon and this weird plastic monkey. Thanks for the bait and switch, science dick.
  • "I thought I was about to get laid and eat some delicious peanut butter, but instead all I found was a mouthful of nylon and this weird plastic monkey. Thanks for the bait and switch, science dick."
PART I: PREDATOR SHIELD™


The other night, on the cable television (which is mine as of three weeks ago! Three magical weeks!), I took a break from Degrassi: The Next Generation (one can only go there for so many consecutive hours) to watch a Discovery Channel program entitled Bear Feeding Frenzy. Bear Feeding Frenzy is about a man who, for the purposes of science, fashions a tent out of smoked salmon, dunks it in sexy she-bear urine, puts a peanut-butter-smeared humannequin inside, then leaves the whole thing in the middle of a heavily populated bear sanctuary, thus irrefutably proving that bears have an insatiable appetite for human flesh. It's science! As the bears devour the tent, the man sits several feet away in a small plastic cube (or, as it's known in science, PREDATOR SHIELD™), yelling things like, "BOY, BEARS SURE DO WANT TO EAT HUMAN FLESH," and "THE ONLY WAY OUT OF HERE IS THROUGH A GRIZZLY'S COLON!" and "IF IT WEREN'T FOR THE PREDATOR SHIELD™ AND THE FACT THAT I AM NOT MADE OF PEANUT BUTTER AND FISH INNARDS, THESE BEARS WOULD WASTE NO TIME IN GOBBLING ME FOR SURE." He also discovers that bears, unlike himself, do not enjoy trail mix.

That whole experience led me to hunger for real knowledge about bear attacks (is my family safe!!!??!?!?!?!?!), which led me to the life-changing Wikipedia page List of fatal bear attacks in North America (by decade). Oh. Oh. Ohhhhhhh. Make your way to this page posthaste. (IF YOU ARE NOT A COWARD AND/OR MADE OF FISH INNARDS!)

It is a sad place, and horrific, and fascinating. A sample (click to enlarge):

oldtwotoes.jpg

As far as I can discern, contrary to what Bear Feeding Frenzy would have me believe, a bear will only eat you if: 1. You get too close to its baybay, 2. You get too close to its moose carcass, 3. You keep it in a concrete pen and throw dog food at it. Do not do these things, and you will not experience the sinking feeling that comes with a bear's hot mouth closing on your face.

(Coming tomorrow: Part II: Kesagake!)

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Uprising

Posted by Charles Mudede on Tue, Oct 6, 2009 at 8:55 AM

The end begins:

Lakeland, Florida — A Lakeland woman is recovering from serious injuries in the hospital after sheriff's investigators say she was "gang attacked" by five raccoons Saturday afternoon.

Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd says 74-year-old Gretchen Whitted was trying to shoo the animals away from her front door when they suddenly attacked.

"When she fell down, they enveloped her," said Sheriff Judd in a news conference called Sunday to warn the public of the aggressive raccoons.

"She's literally bitten and scratched from face and the chest all the way down through the legs."

Raccoons are known to be aggressive when going after food, but the sheriff called Saturday's attack very unusual.

"Not in all my years in Florida have I known of a gang attack by raccoons on an individual," Sheriff Judd said.

I can imagine nothing worse than being bitten by a raccoon. My mind can barely manage the image of that creature biting my arms, my cheeks, my chest.
Picture_12.png
How horrible.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Three Pit Bulls Walk into Magnuson Park

Posted by Christopher Frizzelle on Mon, Oct 5, 2009 at 1:57 PM

pitbullsmagnuson.jpeg

"I took my dog to Magnuson this morning, and these signs were up around the park," writes Slog tipper Josh, who goes on to say:

Could this story fit the negative stereotype about pit bulls and their owners more perfectly? That's because it's largely true. Not entirely true, of course — I have some friends who take care of foster dogs, and they have kept several wonderful pit bulls. But we've all seen the hyper-macho douchebags with their pit bulls that look like they're ready to rip your throat out. It's unfortunate that this culture exists around these dogs, but it does, and it ruins pit bulls for everyone else. Just like a high school can tell their students they can't wear all red or blue colors, even though there's nothing intrinsically wrong about wearing all red and blue, it still seems perfectly justified: young men wearing all red and blue has come to signify specific gang allegiance.

That number again, in case you saw something around noon on Saturday at the park: 437-7410. There's some more info on KOMO's site. (Thanks for that tip, Vanessa.)

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Bedbugs Are the New Bookworms

Posted by Paul Constant on Thu, Oct 1, 2009 at 4:50 PM

Roger Goffeney has infested the Denver public library...twice...with bed bugs.

Denver Public Library has destroyed 31 books and fumigated four areas of its central library after a bedbug infestation...in early September library staff discovered bugs, their larvae, and droppings inside books returned by Goffeney. DPL banned him from the library and asked him to bag his outstanding books and return them outside the library building rather than through the book drop. However, he placed them in the book drop a week later, causing a reinfestation

Goffeney refuses to pay the $18,000 for the fumigation and replacement books, and he is considering suing the library for the right to take books out again. Thanks to Slog Tipper Davida for the news.

Your Recommended Daily Dose of Baby Pygmy Hippo

Posted by David Schmader on Thu, Oct 1, 2009 at 1:15 PM

6a00d8341c730253ef0120a60810db970c-800wi.jpg

Recently born at the Blijdorp Zoo in Rotterdam.

(Via Towleroad, Jezebel, and God.)

Monday, September 28, 2009

Re: Let the Panda Die with Dignity

Posted by Lindy West on Mon, Sep 28, 2009 at 11:26 AM

"It's not meeting us halfway, is it?"

Let the Panda Die With Dignity

Posted by Paul Constant on Mon, Sep 28, 2009 at 11:22 AM

Chris Packham says we should just let the adorablest animal on earth, the panda, fucking die already.

The zoologist...risked criticism from wildlife conservationists in an interview with the Radio Times in which he describes the giant panda as a "T-shirt animal" on which too much conservation money is wasted.

"Here is a species that, of its own accord, has gone down an evolutionary cul-de-sac. It's not a strong species," he said.

Who wants to be on the panda death panels? It'll be sooooo cute!

Friday, September 25, 2009

Glenn Beckwatch: Froggy Went A-Boilin'

Posted by Paul Constant on Fri, Sep 25, 2009 at 11:28 AM

Slog Tipper Davey alerts us to this video of Glenn Beck boiling a frog to prove a point.

Of course, Glenn Beck's fans went crazy on the Christian Science Monitor, saying that it was a plastic frog, and a guest on Beck's show can in fact confirm that it was a plastic frog:

Glen asked former Ambassador to the UN, John Bolton if the frog was plastic. The ambassador replied yes. Unless you have evidence that Ambassador John Bolten is a liar like too many current serving us in DC (Den of Corruption) I believe John.

Of course. John Bolton is a man to be trusted:

Bolton has been closely associated, both in and out of government, with a number of controversies regarding alleged abuse of intelligence and malfeasance. When he worked as an assistant attorney general under Edwin Meese, Bolton thwarted the Kerry Commission's efforts to obtain documentation, including Bolton's personal notes, about the Iran-Contra affair and alleged Contra drug smuggling.....Bolton was again entangled in controversial schemes to support Republican candidates, this time involving money channeled from Hong Kong and Taiwan to the Republican Party by way of a "think tank" linked to the Republican National Committee (RNC)...

Much more about Bolton can be found here. Look. I don't believe that Glenn Beck boiled a frog on national television. Regardless of what you believe about him, he is incredibly intelligent about his career, and he wouldn't risk that career by harming an animal on-camera. But saying that John Bolton confirms Beck's story is not the way to make a case.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Mafia Croc

Posted by Charles Mudede on Thu, Sep 24, 2009 at 7:59 AM

BBC reports:

Italian police say they have seized a crocodile they believe was used by a suspected mafia boss to terrorise people into paying protection money.

The reptile was 1.7m (5.5ft) long and weighed 40kg (88lb). It was found during a weapons search at the man's home in the southern town of Caserta.

It was kept on the terrace and fed live rabbits in full view of neighbouring homes, police said.

The mafia suspect was charged with illegal animal possession.

A crocodile is more effective than a pistol? That sounds hard to believe. The sight of a gun would frighten me far more than the sight of a crocodile.


186820108_751ae2815c.jpg


Image by 13Bobby.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

The Popular Spider-Man Lizard

Posted by Charles Mudede on Tue, Sep 22, 2009 at 8:45 AM

How can evolution explain this?

800px-AgamaLizard-1.jpg

(Telegraph) A lizard that looks startlingly like Spider-Man - Mwanza flat-headed rock agama - has become the latest fashionable pet.

The vivid red-and-blue colouring is almost uncannily like that of the Marvel superhero, and comic book fans have been flocking to exotic pet shops to snap them up.

Agamas like the Spider-Lizard, as it has become known make good pets, as they become tame and docile if handled regularly. However, they require specialist equipment in the UK to maintain their temperature.

World without end.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Cock Heaven

Posted by Charles Mudede on Mon, Sep 21, 2009 at 4:24 PM

Which is worse, a life of fighting...

cock.jpg

Or death?
(Seattle PI)Seattle police have identified several suspects in a suspected cockfighting ring that led animal shelter staff to euthanize 36 roosters that had been seized in the investigation, authorities said.

The roosters were taken Sept. 10 from a home in the 3800 block of Renton Avenue South. The animals "were quite aggressive," which was why they were put down, Seattle Animal Shelter Enforcement Supervisor Don Baxter said.

Police are still investigating the case and no charges have been filed.

Isn't it Borges, the great Argentinian writer, who said something positive about cockfighting? He said something like: "The cocks love to fight, they love the violence. There is nothing wrong with the sport." I think he said something like that. Also, the day I read about the fate of the fighting cocks, euthanasia, happened to be the very same day this book arrived at the office: Waste: Uncovering the Global Food Scandal. On the back of the book: "Around half of all food in the United States is wasted..." Also on the back of the book: "Just half of the food currently being thrown away in the United States could feed the world's nearly 1 billion malnourished people." What is euthanasia for some is in the pot for others.

@SEAshows

The Stranger's Twitter Feed of Seattle Shows
  • Loading Tweets
    loading

Follow @SEAshows
 

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC
1535 11th Ave (Third Floor), Seattle, WA 98122
Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Terms of Use