1. Because the Seahawks are heading to the Super Bowl, it's time for Stranger staff to jump on the fair-weather-fan bandwagon. This week, the news section features a sports piece by local playwright SPIKE FRIEDMAN that makes absolutely no sense. Does he believe he can predict the future? Is Friedman's passion for football so feverish that he now believes he can pierce the veil of time and space? Is this piece a parody of Seattle's football-related insanity, or is it sincere? If the latter, why didn't The Stranger obtain psychological help for Friedman rather than publish his rantings?

2. Speaking of the 1990s, the splashy front page of the music section is an appreciation of the band Sleater-Kinney, written by one ELIZABETH NELSON BRACY, which argues that their newest album might be their best album. As a fun research project, go to the Seattle Public Library and dig up some old magazine reviews of the Eagles' Hell Freezes Over tour in 1994. In your opinion, does the 21-year-old praise reserved for the Eagles resemble Bracy's adulation of Sleater-Kinney? Do you think Sleater-Kinney is this generation's Eagles? Why or why not? Why does nostalgia make people so willing to appreciate weaker efforts from bands they may have enjoyed in their youth?

3. In the film section, CHARLES MUDEDE attempts to launch a controversy by arguing that William S. Burroughs has more value as the subject of a movie than as a novelist. However, since the only people who care about the writing of William S. Burroughs are sexually inquisitive young men from the year 1993, Mudede's aspirations to kick off a "clickbait" campaign fail to arouse interest. Which is worse—when Mudede says something incendiary about race or womanhood and people charge in from all over the internet to inform him that he's wrong, or when Mudede tries to lob a grenade only to have his attempts conclude with a wet fizzle? If Mudede says something aggravating and nobody bothers to care, can Mudede be said to exist at all?

4. Music editor EMILY NOKES has published the second edition of an ongoing column that has seemingly taken the place of the arts calendars. It's called "The High List," and it's a collection of events to attend if you're high, with related nearby snack locations. Setting aside the shameless high-school-level humor of the column, is the fact that The Stranger is now requiring its readers to visit their online calendars for arts event information yet another sign that The Stranger is giving up on arts coverage entirely?