I have nothing new to add to this video of '80s pop star (and former General Hospital actor) Rick Springfield testifying in a Syracuse courtroom about allegedly knocking a fan unconscious by bumping her with his ass during a 2004 concert, which I first saw on Stereogum (though it's posted everywhere else, too). I just needed to type that headline before the whistle blew on another wonderful work day here at Seattle's Only Newspaper and America's Favorite Blog. May god have mercy on your souls.