MONDAY, DECEMBER 29 This year-spanning week of pissy peacekeepers, relative bloodshed, and romantic desperation lodged in a residential chimney kicks off in New York City, where today the New York City Police Department continued to distinguish itself as America's preeminent group of crybabies. "Two days after scores of police officers turned their backs on Mayor Bill de Blasio while he spoke at a murdered officer's funeral, a scattering of boos and jeers greeted the mayor [today] as he addressed another police department event: the graduation ceremony for the fall class of 884 new officers," reported the New York Times. "Once again, Mr. de Blasio found himself speaking to turned backs: Six or so audience members at Madison Square Garden—out of thousands—turned away from him as he spoke, just as officers did outside Officer Rafael Ramos's funeral on Saturday, and at the Brooklyn hospital where the officer died the week before." The cause of the rampant back-turning and hurt feelings: Mayor de Blasio's statements in the wake of a grand jury's decision not to indict the officer who fatally choked Eric Garner, an unarmed black man, on Staten Island in July. Among de Blasio's allegedly inflammatory post-Garner remarks: "Anyone who believes in the values of this country should feel called to action right now," "It should be self-evident, but our history requires us to say that black lives matter," and acknowledgement that he's spoken to his biracial son about "dangers he may face" during interactions with police. In response to de Blasio's allegedly treasonous remarks—which were followed two weeks later by the tragic murder of two on-duty cops by a suicidal loon—the back-turning NYPD has engaged in a virtual strike. "NYPD traffic tickets and summonses for minor offenses have dropped off by a staggering 94 percent following the execution of two cops—as officers feel betrayed by the mayor and fear for their safety," reports the New York Post. "The Post obtained the numbers hours after revealing that cops were turning a blind eye to some minor crimes and making arrests only 'when they have to' since the execution-style shootings of Officers Rafael Ramos and Wenjian Liu." In short, New York City is a giant clusterfuck of tragedy and contempt at present, but if the end result is cops making arrests "only when they have to," things aren't all bad.

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 30 In worse news, the week continued in an Idaho Walmart, where this morning a young mother was shopping with her 2-year-old son in her cart when the boy pulled the loaded handgun from his mother's purse and fatally shot her. Details come from NPR, which identified the victim as 29-year-old Veronica J. Rutledge, "a chemical engineer and a published nuclear researcher" from Blackfoot, Idaho. Rutledge was also a professional acquaintance of Blackfoot mayor Paul Loomis, who described the deceased to NPR's Robert Siegel as a "well-educated individual and not an irresponsible parent." Citing today's bloody evidence to the contrary, NPR's Siegel dug in: "You know, people in other countries and many Americans hear about this and say it's crazy. How can a loving, responsible parent leave a gun within reach of a child? And they'll say this is a symptom of America's love of guns. What do you say to that?" In response, Loomis peddled the requisite well-rehearsed nonsense: "In America, we do love our rights. And this is one of them. And we obviously are very concerned about the ability for us to carry and bear arms, but I would hope that the focus of this is on the tragedy, not on, you know, a political issue." Condolences to all, especially the 2-year-old whose mother's right to a concealed weapon gave him the right to be a mom-killing half-orphan.

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 31 Meanwhile, the all-in-the-family bloodshed continued today in Pinellas County, Florida, where this evening a man called 911 to report that his brother had decapitated their mother. As the Associated Press reports, deputies arrived to find Maria Suarez-Cassagne's body near some garbage cans outside the home, and soon after apprehended 23-year-old Christian Gomez, who reportedly confessed to attacking his mother with an ax. "Sheriff Bob Gualtieri said that Gomez had planned his mother's murder for two days," reports the AP. "Gomez was upset with his mother because she wanted him to move boxes around the house... According to the sheriff's office, Gomez had been diagnosed with schizophrenia." He has been charged with first-degree murder.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 1 Happy New Year! And 2015 began exactly as 2014 ended: with a crush of familial fatalities, including but not limited to horrors in the Bronx (where an 87-year-old woman was found bludgeoned to death and her 48-year-old grandson was taken into police custody), and Modesto, California (where a 57-year-old man fatally shot his wife and two adult children before fatally shooting himself). Meanwhile in Peachtree City, Georgia, a man who happens to be the town's chief of police jostled his bedside gun and accidentally shot his sleeping wife, who remains in critical but non-dead condition.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 2 In slightly lighter news that still involves tragedy, the week continued with an amazing story out of Kentucky, where this evening a man answered a knock on his door to find a 7-year-old girl who said she'd just survived a plane crash. Details come from the Associated Press, which reports a small Piper PA-34 plane flying from Florida to Illinois crashed early this evening as it flew over rural southwestern Kentucky. "The plane had reported engine trouble and lost contact with air traffic controllers shortly before the 5:55 p.m. crash," reports the AP. Roughly 30 minutes later, 911 received a call about the appearance of the 7-year-old survivor, who'd walked nearly a mile without shoes in near-freezing temperatures to seek help at the first home she found. "I come to the door and there's a little girl, 7 years old, bloody nose, bloody arms, bloody legs, one sock, no shoes, crying," as 71-year-old Larry Wilkins told the AP. "She told me that her mom and dad were dead, and she had been in a plane crash, and the plane was upside down." Along with the girl's mom and dad, the crash also claimed the lives of her sister and one of her cousins, while our surviving witness miraculously escaped relatively unharmed. (Physically, at least.)

SATURDAY, JANUARY 3 In completely tragedy-free news, the week continued in Woodcrest, California, where early this morning a 35-year-old woman was found lodged in her estranged boyfriend's chimney. "Homeowner Tony Hernandez said the woman, the mother of his three children, had tried around 5 a.m. to open the door of his home," reports CBSLA.com. "When she found it locked, she climbed to the roof and attempted to get in through the chimney. That's when she became wedged inside the 12-by-12-inch chimney." After hearing his estranged girlfriend calling for help from inside his chimney, Hernandez called firefighters, who broke open his fireplace and dislodged his estranged girlfriend, who was taken to the hospital with minor to moderate injuries.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 4 The week ended just as it began: with a display of pissiness by the New York Police Department, which today refused to honor its commissioner's plea for "tradition, honor, and decency" by again turning their backs to Mayor Bill de Blasio as he spoke at the funeral of murdered officer Wenjian Liu. Congratulations, NYPD. In your insistence on protesting at funerals you've been explicitly asked not to protest at, you stand alone with Westboro Baptist Church. recommended

Send hot tips to lastdays@thestranger.com and follow me on Twitter @davidschmader.