This is what comes up when you type The Cure into Shutterstock. It is, however, better than what pops up when you type in Robert Smith.
  • Shutterstock/©Nattika
  • This is what comes up when you type "The Cure" into Shutterstock. It is, however, better than what pops up when you type in "Robert Smith."

• On Friday, I participated in Chop Suey's Tribute to the Cure, where Seattle turned up on point. Starring hairspray, eyeliner, fog machines, and your fave Cure songs covered mostly expertly by members of such hot-shit bands as: the Cave Singers, Gazebos, the Dutchess and the Duke, Midday Veil, Loaded, Dejha, Charms, Red Ribbons, Killer Ghost, Gang Cult, Blood Drugs, Deep Creep, Dreamsalon, Underworld Scum, and Glitterbang, the evening was one of the more epic tributes nights in recent memory. Damn, I am going to miss the current Chop Suey so much.

• At midnight last Wednesday, Kanye West and Paul McCartney released a ballad called "Only One" (available for falling asleep to on Kanye's website). Instead of discussing how Kanye could have made better use of the person responsible for Ram for Christsakes, the internet instead became outraged by teenagers who claimed to have no idea who Paul McCartney was, praising Kanye via Twitter for "shining light on unknown artists." But, because teenagers are sometimes not the worst, it turns out most of these whippersnappers were JK LOL.


• Speaking of hilarious jokes, someone punked Insane Clown Posse fans with the fake news that all ICP songs would be removed from iTunes and Spotify. Our brave Detroit, Michigan, correspondent Kelly O reports that no matter what, the Faygo is still flowing like Juggalo juice.

Dont you dare call it soda. Its POP. PAAHHHP.
  • Kelly O
  • Don’t you dare call it "soda."

• But what ELSE is going on in Detroit, Kelly? Glad you asked.

Abandoned castles, mostly.
  • Kelly O
  • Abandoned castles, mostly.


Umm
  • Attract women at will for $10.95 at Walmart.


Oh, and VENOM RAT, of course.
  • Oh, and VENOM RAT, of course.