Last week, Emily Nokes asked me what my favorite Christmas song was. I said I didn't have a favorite Christmas song. The truth is, Christmas carols drive me a little bit crazy. When it comes to music, I crave novelty; my idea of hell would be listening to a corporate classic rock station for all eternity. All of which is a long way around saying that Christmas music is probably my least favorite kind of music. (Yes, even "Fairytale of New York," which I used to love, has lost some of its elasticity for me, partly because it's become canonized by self-styled noble drunks.)

But I wish I had remembered "Hard Candy Christmas" last week when Emily asked me that question. It's the perfect Christmas song: Sad, full of yearning, with maybe a glimmer of hope. And, you know, you can't go wrong with Dolly Parton. This is a Christmas song I look forward to hearing once or twice a year, and so I'm happy to share it with you.