This nifty graph is on page 196 of Emily Osters book Expecting Better. She created it based on the 2008 U.S. Natality Detail Files, her endnotes say.
  • JG
  • This nifty graph is on page 196 of Emily Oster's book Expecting Better. She created it based on the 2008 U.S. Natality Detail Files, her endnotes say.

Folks, I'm expecting a baby and today's the due date. Yup. For real. To-day. Not that he'll necessarily come today. But whatever happens, on this day, we begin...

BABYWATCH&*(&$#*(^$@*(#'!

I just thought that you should know.

And while we're on the subject of what it means to be far along in a pregnancy, let me introduce you to a little thing the Experts term "lightning crotch."

It's when the baby has descended so far down in your body that he's—yep, mine's penis-equipped—pressing on your pelvic nerves, triggering those nerves to send shooting pains down your inner thighs whenever. This happens while you're, maybe, checking out at the grocery store, which leads to grimacing, and I do not hide my grimaces, which leads to the cashier saying, "Are you okay?" and that leads to me saying, as if we are both in on it, "Lightning crotch."

Which I find a funny trick to play on anyone, unless that person really seems to be having a bad day.

To anyone else expecting, cheers! You're doing a great job, whatever you're doing.