Hey, did you watch last night's episode of The Walking Dead? Do you have opinions? OH, I HAVE OPINIONS! Allow me to share them with you in my spoiler-filled recap of "Crossed" after the jump! And feel free to weigh in with your OPINIONS, too! (Though you scarcely needed an invite, right?) LET'S GET CHITTY-CHATTING!

MORE AFTER THE JUMP!

Here's what I'm thinking about last night's episode, "Crossed."

1. Everybody is suffering from some sort of PTSD following last episode, especially Sasha who—after watching her boyfriend Bob croak—is taking her grief out on a church pew with an axe. (Hey! Save some for the zombies, Sasha!) Rick's rangers are turning the church into a fortress to protect everyone else while he and his team go to Atlanta to presumably rescue Beth. Slowing down the job is Rev. McChickenShit, who hopelessly scrubs away at the blood on the floor, and whines, "Are you going to use the cross, too?" OH, SHUT UP, REV. McCHICKENSHIT. I hate him so much.

2. Meanwhile back at the hospital, Beth overhears that the cops want to take Carol off of life support. Der Fuhrer Dawn agrees, and when Beth asks why, she says, "because otherwise I'll lose all my power." You've already lost all your power, dingaling! GOD, WHY DON'T TV CHARACTERS LISTEN TO ME WHEN I'M SCREAMING AT THEM?? Anyway, she gives Beth the key to the medicine cabinet so she can give Carol some drugs, and therefore, a fighting chance. I STILL DON'T LIKE YOU, DER FUHRER DAWN!

3. Meanwhile back at the fire engine, G.I. Ginger is still kneeling on the street after giving Fat Elvis the (not a) Scientist a concussion. Sgt. McSexy—DEAR GOD, SHE'S SEXY—tries to snap him out of it, and Ginger gives her the "I'm about to FREAK OUT" eye, but Maggie threatens to blow his head off and everything's cool. Glenn, Tara, and Sgt. McSexy take a field trip to find some water, and yet? Instead of taking a sexy bath, Sgt. McSexy helps Glenn catch some fish. SNORE!!!

4. Meanwhile back at the church, Rev. McChickenShit is all "boo-hoo-hoo I can't kill people" and uses a machete to pull up some floor boards and escape into the woods—but not before he steps on a nail. This is a strained metaphor about the ultimate sacrifice of Christ, and a reminder to get your tetanus shot. He runs into a zombie, but can't kill her because she has a cross around her neck. This does not need to be repeated, but... OH, SHUT UP, REV. McCHICKENSHIT. I hate you so much!

5. G.I. Ginger is still kneeling on the concrete. That's terrible for your knees, btw.

6. Meanwhile back in Atlanta, Rick's plan to "KILL 'EM ALLLLLLLL!" is changed to "Kidnap a few of the hospital cops, and hope it all works out okay." They nab three cops—and Daryl creatively captures one of them by using a zombie skull as a bowling ball. NICE ONE, DARYL! Unfortunately for the group, as soon as Rick and Daryl leave to negotiate with Der Fuhrer Dawn, Sasha is completely suckered by one of the cops who knocks her out and escapes. Not only did I see that coming from a mile away, I saw it coming before anyone on this show was even BORN. Get with the program, Sasha!

7. ANNNNND ABRUPT ENDING. Okay, so that was another one of those "set up" episodes which will lead to a gigantic battle at the hospital next week, which will end in a cliff hanger because it's the mid-season finale. (As I said, I saw all this coming before any of them were born.) WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THIS EPISODE? Let me know in the comments, and I'll see ya next week! (Be sure to bring a towel, 'cause it's gonna be a blood bath!)

NOTE: All the other Walking Dead photos were terrible this week, so here's a GIF of Sgt. McSexy.