A CHANTEUSE CALLED RIZO
If you know me, and you don't so stop frontin,' you know how heartbreakingly in love I am with the marvelous alt-cabaret miracle Lady Rizo. Indeed, I have been a seriously smitten kitten since the moment I first beheld her at some erstwhile Bacon Strip, lo, it seems eons ago. Since then, I've seen her appear twice here in old Seattle, and I've rushed from NYC (her base, where she performs constantly at the Public Theater's famous Joe's Pub) to Portland just to catch a glimpse of the singular chanteusey wonder that she is. She's been all over the world as of late, performing in such places as Edinburgh and London (where they wisely adored her so hard that they presented her with the Time Out & Soho Theatre Edinburgh Cabaret Award!) The Rizo returns to our warm, caburlesque-loving embrace as part of her latest West Coast tour. Two shows, one night only! Fred Wildlife Refuge, 7 and 9:30 pm, $20, 21+.
DAN DOES DICKSLAP
This marks the third time that Dan Savage and his hunka-burning husband Terry have hosted a Dickslap, and I can assure you that those two Dickslaps were the dickslappiest Dickslaps that ever slapped a dick, slap, slap. Allow me to paint a brief picture: free dildos for everyone! (Dan just happened to have a huge box of them on hand...as he does.) Boys bound in black leather! (Those too...) And they expressly forbid me to give away the secret details of the one they're hosting tonight, but allow me to quote the 1971 classic Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory's golden ticket, "In your wildest dreams, you cannot imagine the marvelous surprises that await you!" Just strike "marvelous" and replace it with "filthy" and add "wet" before "dreams." Thank you. The Eagle, 9 pm, $7, 21+.
MATCH GAME
We've waited! We've wondered! We've ached and we've pined! But finally our beloved Match Game—a gayed-up live version of the classic 1960s game show and precursor to RuPaul's Drag Race's "Snatch Game"—has returned to us with a whole new season of wild characters in wacky costumes and "ouch! Ouch! I'm gonna barf!" laughs. Featuring a whole mess of funny local faces you'll recognize, like Robbie Turner and Nelson Heston Riley. Re-bar, 7 pm, $10/$5 in costume, 21+. 
