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Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Book of Mormon Interrupted by Rampant Fingerbanging

Posted by on Wed, Aug 13, 2014 at 2:29 PM

To fingerbang or not to fingerbang during this show?
  • Joan Marcus
  • What's the etiquette around fingerbanging during this show?

Sent just minutes ago to I, Anonymous:

To the couple sitting next to me during Aug 1's performance of Book of Mormon: Theater etiquette is not always easy to grasp but to finger your girlfriend during a live show is actually frowned upon, as is the amorous penis-rubbing return gesture on the part of your girlfriend. Also, when your neighbor (close enough to feel your arm muscles wriggling in your amorous attempts) asks you to please not insert your finger into your girlfriend's vagina while watching a musical, the proper response is generally thought to not be an aggressive belch in the face of the person making the request. Apparently these etiquette guidelines are not universally acknowledged.


Comments (28) RSS

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levide 1
If they don't offer to let you join, then management, absolutely.
Posted by levide on August 13, 2014 at 2:43 PM · Report this
sperifera 2
Free porn? Is there any other kind? Only Bailo PAYS for porn...
Posted by sperifera on August 13, 2014 at 2:46 PM · Report this
Dougsf 3
Only in Seattle would a dutch rudder invite be delivered so passive aggressively.
Posted by Dougsf on August 13, 2014 at 2:54 PM · Report this
The %s don't add up to 100%, only 47.62%. Is something broken, or is there a mystery option that is getting all the votes?
Posted by Banana Stand Money on August 13, 2014 at 3:03 PM · Report this
Live porn included. No wonder the tickets are so expensive.

Next time, film it, post it and review it.

Anyone having sex in the same space as me has by default invited my participation on my terms. You've been warned.
Posted by Hump Filmmaker on August 13, 2014 at 3:03 PM · Report this
Gern Blanston 6
This being a Trey Parker and Matt Stone production, maybe they thought they were at a Fingerbang concert.…
Posted by Gern Blanston on August 13, 2014 at 3:19 PM · Report this
Yeah, I can see how that might not be the best idea if your sitting that close to a neighbor but I've banged my GF in the comedy club and I feel like that was alright mostly because we were at our own table with a couple of friends.
Posted by benriquez19 on August 13, 2014 at 3:24 PM · Report this
jnmend 8
If only this could be explained by some sort of fetish where people find it exceptionally hot to do this in public and get caught.
Posted by jnmend on August 13, 2014 at 3:27 PM · Report this
Everyone knows musicals are for blowjobs.
Posted by dudebro on August 13, 2014 at 3:27 PM · Report this
What is it with Seattle's inability to cope with *anything*. Seriously... people will be rude in all sorts of ways, it's your responsibility to cope with the world around you... it's not the world's responsibility to tiptoe around your whiny ass.

Unpleasant things happen. Cope with it.
Posted by Forcryingoutloudseattle on August 13, 2014 at 3:29 PM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 11
What @5 said.
Posted by Urgutha Forka on August 13, 2014 at 3:43 PM · Report this
evolume 12
At least do it on the toilet or in the alley like a civilized person.
Posted by evolume on August 13, 2014 at 3:49 PM · Report this
I just want to know were they wearing magic underwear?
Posted by Baby eyes on August 13, 2014 at 4:14 PM · Report this
Sounds like a loving tribute to South Park to me.
Posted by Yum Yum on August 13, 2014 at 4:29 PM · Report this
matt clark 15
My 19.5yr old son's generation refers to it as "finger blasting," which I find much more aurally soothing.
Posted by matt clark on August 13, 2014 at 4:44 PM · Report this
rob! 16
Well, since rampant fingerbanging has probably been interrupted (or prevented entirely) by the Book of Mormon on countless occasions, it seems only fair…
Posted by rob! on August 13, 2014 at 4:57 PM · Report this
I got $100 that says the fingerbangers/dryhumpers were mormon. Total mormon thing to do
Posted by petacones on August 13, 2014 at 5:09 PM · Report this
I got $100 that says that the theatre-bangers/dryhumpers were Mormon. We can smell our own.
Posted by petacones on August 13, 2014 at 5:12 PM · Report this
you said "fingerbang" :)
Posted by joebobby on August 13, 2014 at 5:26 PM · Report this
In my experience, the people giving the free porn show are never the ones you actually would want to see in porn, so what might be hot in theory is not so hot in reality.
Posted by DJSauvage on August 13, 2014 at 5:34 PM · Report this
Once he fired back with the belch, it was clear you were dealing with a douchebag, and letting an usher know to toss him and his companion out was the obvious response.
Posted by El Steven on August 13, 2014 at 6:16 PM · Report this
I do believe I've now heard (read) everything. Do these children not know heavy petting is supposed to be reserved for the front seat of the car at lover's point? Didn't their parents teach them anything at all? Jeeez.
Posted by Calpete on August 13, 2014 at 6:21 PM · Report this
Posted by daikinibaby on August 13, 2014 at 7:22 PM · Report this
Depends. Was he fingering her pussy or asshole?
Posted by Kid-Cajun on August 13, 2014 at 9:13 PM · Report this
Alert the management?!?! Deck the idiot in the face (he's obviously a little preoccupied to swing back).
Posted by clusterhump on August 14, 2014 at 12:04 AM · Report this
Laurence Ballard 26
Paramount Staff Meeting 08/15/2014:
No more Single-wide Nights.
Posted by Laurence Ballard on August 14, 2014 at 8:11 AM · Report this
Jason Josephes 27
I was at a Book Of Mormon performance last week and the guy behind me wouldn't shut up. So I turned around and told him to shut up. He did.

It's amazing what you can accomplish if you just say something. Guy should have told them to knock it off or gotten an usher.
Posted by Jason Josephes on August 14, 2014 at 8:32 AM · Report this
The Dopest 28
@3: Ha! Man, you got my morning started right with that one.
Posted by The Dopest on August 14, 2014 at 8:59 AM · Report this

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