If you are a fan of bloody-faced shock queens, indie/goth gayness, indescribable perversion, and worshipping the devil (probably), this is where you want to be tonight. (BYOVS—Bring Your Own Virgin Sacrifice.) The music, dancing, and booze are merely the black icing on the diseased cake. With Hilt TrollSplinter, Cherry Sur Bête, and Ozma Otacava. Mercury, 9 pm, $5/$3 members, 21+.

So. Yeah. This, um, "Lady Gaga" person or whoever. She's in town, I guess. I've got seats. I hear they are pretty good, too. Whatevs. How 'bout you? KeyArena, 7:30 pm, $35–$200, all ages.

Perhaps Sylvia O'Stayformore is some kind of forward-minded drag genius with her beady-lashed eyes on the future? A "long-game" type of gurl with a plan? I'm beginning to suspect so. She has clearly said, "KISS MY PADDED ASS!" to the evil land-grab/gentrification nightmare that is Capitol Hill these days, absconded from it good and proper and branched out to untried locales elsewhere. For instance? Georgetown...

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