Slog

Slog Music

Music, Nightlife,
and Drinks

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

If You Hate a Show So Much, Why Are You Watching It?

Posted by on Wed, Jul 30, 2014 at 10:25 AM

The Quest
  • THE QUEST... to attract the drooling nerd demographic.

Frankly, I don't understand why you guys enjoy "hate watching" shows. (The term apparently means that you despise the mechanics of a particular show, but you can't stop watching for reasons you can't explain—which makes absolutely no fawking sense to me... but I've never really been able to figure out why you do the things you do, so I'm not even gonna try. I'm just gonna finish out the day chugging a nice tall tumbler or two of bourbon and call it good.)

If you ask me, your "hate watching" habits sound suspiciously similar to your so-called "guilty pleasure" habits. (Where you're desperately ashamed of a particular show, yet regularly watch and perhaps even masturbate to it.) Here are just a few of the "hate watching" shows I've heard many of you mention: Aaron Sorkin's The Newsroom (UNGGHHH! So terrible!), Glee (please say you don't), Game of Thrones (oh, don't argue... you know it's the worst!), Girls (waitasecond... that's actually good!), The Bachelor and/or The Bachelorette (boooooo!!), any show about hoarding (sick!), and the crown jewel of terrible TV, Grey's Anatomy (for the love of God, make it stop!!).

LOOK. You don't have to justify your behavior by calling it "hate watching"—sometimes your overworked brain needs a break from all the "intelligent" shows you scrutinize on a daily basis. (Psst! We both know that's a lie. The last "intelligent" show you watched was Reading Rainbow.) That being said, here are a few "hate-worthy" shows on TV this week. Go on... hate 'em!

The Quest (ABC, Thurs July 31, 8 pm). In their continuing "quest" (heh, GET IT?!?) to attract the drooling nerd demographic, ABC is introducing a new reality show where contestants dress up like Middle-earth knights (don't laugh) who are sent on a quest to fight ogres and dragons (seriously... stop snickering) in a mysterious fantasy land (okay, fine... laugh it up). I will pay someone $50 if they crash the competition wearing a Darth Vader costume.

Sharknado 2: The Second One (Syfy, Wed July 30, 9 pm). The first Sharknado was an inexplicable hit—wherein freak tornadoes drop an ass-load of starving sharks onto a frantic populace (including "Academy Award winners" Ian Ziering and Tara Reid). Now these greedy sharks are back in an unsurprising sequel and ready to mercilessly devour Ian, Tara, and a new batch of D-list actors such as Vivica A. Fox and Sugar Ray frontman Mark McGrath. (Eat him first!!)

Partners (FX, Mon Aug 4, 9 pm). This one's so bad, it's not even "good bad." Kelsey Grammer (who's a total jerk Republican, by the way) teams up with a completely embarrassed and deflated Martin Lawrence (oh, how the mighty have fallen) in this ungodly bad sitcom about two very different lawyers who come together to create their own firm. High jinks ensue, and then high jinks sue because they're so embarrassed by this crappy-ass show. This show is so bad, even a Sharknado wouldn't eat it. This show is so bad, The Quest went on a quest to find something better to watch. This show is so bad, even hoarders refused to hoard it! (So... enjoy watching every episode!)

WEDNESDAY, JULY 30

8:00 CW PENN & TELLER: FOOL US

Debut! Aspiring magicians try to freak out Penn and Teller… which sounds mostly impossible.

10:00 FX THE BRIDGE

Marco gets a new ally—hopefully one that won’t murder him in his sleep.

THURSDAY, JULY 31

10:00 SUN THE HONORABLE WOMAN

Debut! An Anglo-Israeli daughter of an assassinated Zionist arms dealer tries to… okay, you’ve lost me.

10:00 IFC MARON

Season finale! An unsuccessful former pal of Marc’s, who needed some help, dies. Cue crippling guilt!

FRIDAY, AUGUST 1

Midnight NETFLIX THE KILLING

Season premiere! The entire fourth season is debuting on Netflix for all you “hate watchers” out there!

SATURDAY, AUGUST 2

9:00 AMC HELL ON WHEELS

Season premiere! The series about old-timey Wild West railroad builders returns!

9:00 SYFY SHARKTOPUS VS. PTERACUDA—Movie

(2014) Featuring a hilarious cameo from Conan O’Brien, who gets his head eaten off, vomited out, and then used as a volleyball.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 3

10:00 AMC HALT AND CATCH FIRE

Season finale!
Joe and Gordon prepare to ship their product, which unfortunately will be outdated in about 30 seconds.

10:00 FX THE STRAIN

Ansel takes drastic measures to protect his family, by adding garlic salt to everyone’s gelato.

MONDAY, AUGUST 4

8:00 ABC BACHELOR IN PARADISE

Debut! All the Bachelor and Bachelorette contestants you hate return to give each other herpes.

TUESDAY, AUGUST 5

10:00 COM DRUNK HISTORY

The drunks go to Hollywood to re-create the feud between Orson Welles and William Randolph Hearst!

10:30 COM NATHAN FOR YOU

Nathan helps a dating website that needs more female users. Or rather, he doesn’t help… at all.

Hate read my tweets! @WmSteveHumphrey

 

Comments (10) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
Cato the Younger Younger 1
Thanks! It's great to know that there is still no reason in hell to sign up for cable TV again.
Posted by Cato the Younger Younger on July 30, 2014 at 10:32 AM · Report this
2
Isn't "The Newsroom" ending after this 3rd season ? I will miss Olivia Munn.

As for Hate Watching.... try Under the Dome. At first you think it's going somewhere, and then every episode gets more convoluted until I suspect the original plot was about making a new "Lost".
Posted by ChefJoe on July 30, 2014 at 10:54 AM · Report this
6 3
@2 - we got sucked into Under the Dome a few months back, but were absolutely turned off by the way they ended it. Disappointing! Hate Watching!
Posted by 6 on July 30, 2014 at 11:00 AM · Report this
4
I liked the first season of Maron, but the second plunged into depressing crazy shit so fast I stopped.
Posted by The CHZA on July 30, 2014 at 11:09 AM · Report this
5

Part of my fascination with stuff other people like but which I despise is the Why of it.

Why am I so different that thousands...millions...of people rate something so highly, and yet, to me, I can hardly take more than a few minutes of it.

Am I wrong in the head? Or are the lunatics running the asylum. These are the questions.
Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe http://_ on July 30, 2014 at 11:45 AM · Report this
Theodore Gorath 6
@5: You are most certainly wrong in the head, but it has nothing to do with your particular tastes in television.
Posted by Theodore Gorath on July 30, 2014 at 12:17 PM · Report this
biffp 7
Orphan Black on BBC America is awesome. I just started watching it.
Posted by biffp on July 30, 2014 at 2:01 PM · Report this
8
@4, I thought the writing of the Maron show improved from the first season---good comedy arises from depression and anxiety--"I have mouth cancer!"

@7, Orphan is an terrific show--hopefully the actors will come to comic-con Seattle, and I'll actually go to one.

You're the Worst on FX---really dig this show---flawed, trashy, psycho funny characters---real people, even if the writing doesn't always hit the mark.
Posted by neo-realist on July 30, 2014 at 2:26 PM · Report this
9
"Girls" is awful, actually
Posted by Reader01 on July 30, 2014 at 3:08 PM · Report this
10
I like the newsroom
Posted by Seattle14 on July 30, 2014 at 11:27 PM · Report this

Add a comment

Advertisement

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC
1535 11th Ave (Third Floor), Seattle, WA 98122
Contact | Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy