So many puns should be inserted here. Also, apologies.

According to E! online, Alex Wong, recent Seattle college grad (which college?), has launched a Kickstarter campaign to make the world's largest—except, really, not largest but longest—dick drawing.

Every dollar adds an inch, and a minute ago he was at 234 inches and counting.

What of the vital matter of girth, I ask you, Alex Wong?

Paul Constant asks, "Is it too late to burn down the Internet and start over?"

And another thing. What's with Seattle and penis art? Remember that the Louise Bourgeois fountain at the Olympic Sculpture Park downtown was created through a $1 million gift left by a rich, gay man named Stu Smailes, who demanded the money be used to build a "fully articulated, realistic male nude" to be displayed in public in the city. We didn't get David. We got Father and Son. It involves a bell, which few people know, hung high above the fountain on a concrete overhang and indicating the reversal of the fountains. The bell doesn't even ding-dong. It just dings.