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Thursday, July 17, 2014

Anti-Immigration Candidate for AZ Governor Says He "Stood Up to the Gay Lobby"

Posted by on Thu, Jul 17, 2014 at 4:03 PM

I like to imagine the Gay Lobby as being represented by an attractive man in a seersucker suit. He arrives in Andrew Thomas's office holding two large cloth bags with "$$$" printed on the front. He sets the bags down on Thomas's desk, sits in the chair facing Thomas, and smirks, "Looks like Arizona is about to get a whole lot...gayer."

Andrew Thomas stands up and shoves the bags of money off his desk. "NEVER," Thomas shouts. "You can tell your damn lobby I don't want any part of their game! They can all go to hell! Especially the Mexican ones!" Shocked, the Gay Lobby representative stands up and collects his bags of money. "You tell your people that I'm not for sale! Andrew Thomas doesn't need any of your goddamned money!"

SMASH CUT TO: Two months later, Thomas is standing on the crappy patio where filming for his gubernatorial election ad is taking place. The commercial is being filmed with a Nokia phone from the early 2000s, and the extras were carted in from a local nursing home. "Goddamnit," Thomas mutters to himself, looking around at his penny-ante operation. "I really should've taken that fucking money."

(Via Gawker.)


Comments (17) RSS

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deepeyes 1
Wow, just wow. Clearly, this guy missed the training videos of human gestures during his trip to Earth.
Posted by deepeyes on July 17, 2014 at 4:15 PM · Report this
venomlash 2
He stopped illegal immigration? That's funny, I can't recall a year where we didn't have people sneaking across the border.
Posted by venomlash on July 17, 2014 at 4:24 PM · Report this
No, no, he stopped GAY IMMUGRASHUN! You know, from California or New York or Rhode Island or wherever them gays come ashore!
Posted by COMTE on July 17, 2014 at 4:33 PM · Report this
MacCrocodile 4
@3 - My ancestors came to this country with just the sequins on their backs, hoping to make a life here.
Posted by MacCrocodile on July 17, 2014 at 4:40 PM · Report this
Dougsf 5
"Ok, then I'm gonna have you walk up with tiny bridge, when you're at the top say 'talk is cheap! Can you hit that?'"

"I think so."

Then In this next shot, you're going to point at this chart"

"Do people really print out charts like this?"


"Should we have more than three people in the audience when I do?"

"We can afford three. Also, I've been thinking about the graphic you wanted were the Mexican flag is crossed out in the shape of Arizona, I think it's a bit..."

Posted by Dougsf on July 17, 2014 at 4:53 PM · Report this
@2: He stopped it, but then libruls showed up and made Arizona fly the Mexican flag and let over all the Mexicans.
Posted by Hanoumatoi on July 17, 2014 at 5:08 PM · Report this
Cato the Younger Younger 7
@4 and did those ancestors WERK!!!! ?
Posted by Cato the Younger Younger on July 17, 2014 at 5:54 PM · Report this
mikethehammer 8
Someone should organize a rally for illegal immigrant, gay, liberal judges to take place right outside his residence. Likely to be a small rally for sure, but a turnout of even two or three is likely to cause him to have a heart attack on the spot.
Posted by mikethehammer on July 17, 2014 at 5:55 PM · Report this
venomlash 9
@7: Did they WERK IT?
Posted by venomlash on July 17, 2014 at 6:42 PM · Report this
He needs a trouser and shirt fitting consultant. Also: tie too long.
Posted by Foonken2 on July 17, 2014 at 8:38 PM · Report this
This piece of shit is why the republicans will lose ANOTHER election. We must thank him for his stupidity.
Posted by longwayhome on July 17, 2014 at 8:52 PM · Report this

In some sense, I'm more of an immigrant than a Mexican.

I travelled 3000 miles to be in Washington State and find a better opportunity.

The other day I spoke with a young Mexican woman whose name was spelled almost like mine.

I ask myself -- am I really part of the entrenched classes? Do I hold acres and acres of land? Do I control the organizations and industries? Or am I subject to every rent increase and tax hike by the "citizens" here and their underlings.

Maybe I should choose a different side -- one that is brown like me (well, if I tan long enough).
Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe http://_ on July 17, 2014 at 9:45 PM · Report this
Typical Candy Andy, disgraced (and disbarred) former Maricopa County AG, and Joe Arpaio's best bud for awhile.
@11 - the GOP will win this election in Arizona. You should see the nutcases running for Gov. They make Jan Brewer look almost sane.
Here's a look at Riggs, trying to out do Ducey in being pro-embryo/anti-woman.…
And Ducey, the ice cream guy…
There are/were at least 7 GOP candidates for gov last I heard.
Posted by StuckInUtah on July 18, 2014 at 5:48 AM · Report this
Hernandez 14
@12 As a representative of Team Mexican-American, I thank you for your interest but we'll pass.
Posted by Hernandez on July 18, 2014 at 8:22 AM · Report this
Pridge Wessea 15
@14 - Perfect.
Posted by Pridge Wessea on July 18, 2014 at 11:09 AM · Report this
Dougsf 16
@14 hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Posted by Dougsf on July 18, 2014 at 12:28 PM · Report this
MacCrocodile 17
@13 - I don't remember where I read it, but I wish I had come up with "You can't spell 'crazy' without R-AZ."
Posted by MacCrocodile on July 18, 2014 at 2:34 PM · Report this

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