I am on vacation for all of July. But I've invited Dr. David J. Ley to handle the Savage Love letters of the day. Dr. Ley is a writer and clinical psychologist who has written very smartly about sex, in his books The Myth of Sex Addiction and Insatiable Wives. Find his other writing at Psychology Today and his Twitter: @DrDavidLey. Dr. Ley will be answering your questions all this week. —Dan
I'm a 29-year-old woman who has been dating an amazing, wonderful guy for almost a year now. He recently nervously confessed something to me that he's never shared with a partner before out of fear of rejection: he has inflation fantasies and would like to experiment with it in real life. I told him I would happily explore it with him as long as I knew we were doing it safely.
So far we've tried talking dirty and watching fantasy porn together with great results. The inflatable butt plug is in the mail. But is inflation something that can be done in real life, or does it need to stay in the fantasy realm? Is there any way to actually safely inflate someone? And if so, how? I want to be GGG, but it's more important to me to keep him safe, and based on the sketchy information I've seen given out in online forums, the internet is not to be trusted for reliable advice on this topic.
Are Inflations Reality?
Dr. Ley's response after the jump...
Dear AIR – Let me just first say how blown away I am, to be working with Dan on responding to these letters! I feel like I could just float away, I’m so pumped up! Heh-heh…
Ok – so, I’d heard of these inflatable butt plugs, but your question was a new one for me, and right off the bat, I had to go to the bench for help. A lot of great sextoy and kink advice was recommended by my various kinky, gay, sextoy selling friends and colleagues:
•These toys are often made by an unregulated industry, with no product controls over chemical and manufacturer safety. So, be aware of concerns over phthalates and toxins that might be present.
•Know that this thing could LITERALLY BLOW UP IN YOUR BOYFRIEND’S ASS, if it gets worn out, or is manufactured poorly. Inspect it, carefully. Practice inflating it. Before using it, EACH TIME, check it carefully. Think of it like a parachute. That you’re putting in your boyfriend’s ass.
•Know that here is a very real health risk to air being released or injected in the rectum. This is one reason such toys are often seen as too hardcore for many people.
As with much anal stimulation, the use of densensitizing lubes or gel is dangerous. Your boyfriend needs to feel what’s going on back there, to prevent harm or injury.
Used thoughtfully, while sober, with care, communication and awareness, such toys may be no more or less safe than many other sex toys. Unfortunately, the inflation toys, and inflation fetish, is an area that hasn’t been written about or addressed very well.
So, AIR, you are soaring into a wild unknown. Do so with your eyes open, and your feet on the ground (even if your boyfriend’s ass is floating…)