Like this, only naked, and tripping on acid.
  • Alexander Tihonov/Shutterstock
  • Like this, only naked, and tripping on acid.

War-Like Activity in the Middle East: "Palestinian militants have fired more rockets at Israeli cities after Israel carried out dozens of overnight air strikes on the Gaza Strip," reports the BBC. "Israel said it had intercepted 15 rockets on Wednesday, including eight over Tel Aviv, Ashkelon and Ashdod. Reports from Gaza said at least eight people had been killed in the latest Israeli air strikes."

Meanwhile in Syria: "Syrian rebels rampaged through a Sunni village in the central province of Hama Wednesday, firing indiscriminately at civilians and killing 14 people, including seven women," reports the Associated Press.

Meanwhile in North Korea: The government is firing missiles into the sea.

Oh Dear God: "Two University of Miami football players were arrested on sexual battery charges Tuesday and kicked off the team and campus for an alleged incident involving a 17-year-old girl," reports ABC News. "Court and jail records show JaWand Blue and Alex Figueroa, both 20-year-old linebackers, were booked Tuesday. The two admitted to getting the classmate intoxicated and then allegedly raping her several times in Figueroa’s dorm room over the 4th of July weekend."

Pummeled by Storms: The Eastern U.S., where 300,000 are now without power and at least five people have been killed.

While Washingtonians Were Getting Ready for The First Day of Legal Marijuana Sales...: A naked man tripping on LSD allegedly barged into a Denny-Blaine home to recite scripture.

Can an Entire Country Be Placed on Suicide Watch?: Apparently, Brazil is taking yesterday's World Cup loss very, very hard.

Sometimes You Get in an Argument and Slap Someone's Face, and Sometimes the Slapped Person Falls and Hits Their Head and then Dies, and Then You're Charged with Second-Degree Murder: Happened in Sea-Tac.

"Chelsea Clinton Flaunts Her Baby Bump!": Meanwhile, the father of the child-to-be swaggers around flaunting his sperm-packed testicles and no one seems to notice.

Of Course They Are. Texans Put It on Everything: Ranch sales booming in Texas.

Finally, happy birthday, Courtney Love! And congratulations on your new acting gig! Here's one of her great 21st-century songs...