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Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Brazil vs. Germany In the World Cup: Live-Slogged!

Posted by on Tue, Jul 8, 2014 at 12:55 PM

HEAVYWEIGHT MATCHUP The World Cup rumbles onward!
  • ruskpp/Shutterstock
  • HEAVYWEIGHT MATCHUP Today it's Brazil's not-quite-beautiful play against Germany's ruthless efficiency.

Fulltime: A friend says he's looking forward to a Germany vs. Holland final, because they have a rivalry going back decades—an elderly Holland fan was telling him during the last game how in the 1960s, the Dutch were bitter about WWII, when the Germans took the Dutch bikes and processed them into weapons...

I'm pulling for Argentina and Messi 100 percent. An all European final in Brazil feels wrong, and Messi could finally lay claim to World Cup glory and the mantle of best player of all time. They face Holland in the last semifinal match tomorrow at 1 p.m. Catch you then.

92 mins: No. It's over.

90 mins: GOOOOOOOOOOOAAALLL! Brazil's comeback begins, with two minutes of stoppage time remaining! 7-1. Oscar gets the ball beyond Germany's back line and with acres of space, dribbles gingerly into the box and knocks the ball past Neuer.

80 mins: My yam and tomato sandwich with ajiamarillo was brilliant. So was Schurrle, who half-volleyed into the high corner. 7-0 Germany. This is the team that the USA held to a 1-0 victory in the first round.

69 mins: Dear me. 6-0 Germany. Brazil leave two players unmarked in the box and allow Schurrle to tap the ball in from yards out.


64 mins: The cashier, however, is a "huge" Germany fan. She's ecstatic. Brazil have lost a bit of their breakneck momentum.

57 mins: I'm going to eat a sandwich now, at this charming Peruvian restaurant called Cafe Rumba in Bellingham, where the crowd has fallen silent. The owner says this game is a "tragedy."

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  • AH

54 mins: Brazil, who've shored up their defensive posture by substituting Ramiers on in midfield, look positively possessed. But they can't get a shot past Neuer and you have to worry that they're leaving gaps in the rear as they surge forward.


50 mins: If Brazil play like this for the rest of the half, even if they don't score, they'll have salvage a bit of their pride. They're feisty and quick and have already forced Neuer into making two saves.

46 mins: We're back underway. Brazil's options are as follows: Substitute Marcelo for a swarm of angry green locusts like the one that randomly landed on a player in the quarter finals; inject Hulk and get him to transform into his namesake; or reanimate the spirit of Pelé.

Halftime: The replays show Germany intercepting Brazil's passes or overrunning their players, passing around to open up space, then seizing their chances and placing the ball past Caesar, who cried tears of joy after saving penalties against Chile in the quarterfinal. Must be heartbreaking for him (although, it must be said, he's clearly past his prime as a keeper.)

45 mins: Brazil seem to have regained their composure, but since the onslaught of goals, the German defense has been unyielding. They haven't had a single shot on goal. I kind of wish Neuer, the German keeper who's known for straying outside his box and playing like an outfield defender, would try and take it down the field, just to see what happens.

Seahawks fans can relate to the Germans, yeah?


37 mins: The Spanish-speaking announcers on Univision keep saying "en su casa"—at home. As in, Brazil are getting destroyed in their own house. They're offering no threat going forward.

30 mins: 5-0. Almost a replay of the fourth goal. Brazil's defenders are a step behind Germany's crisp one-two passing around the penalty area, and they're being mercilessly punished.


26 mins: For the sake of Brazil's national psyche, I hope they can stem the tide. The camera cuts to sobbing fans in the stands. For the third goal, Toni Kroos is wide open on the eighteen-yard line and he volleys an unstoppable shot into the left corner.

25 mins: Oh my god. This is getting painful to watch. 4-0. Brazil's defense is at sea.

24 mins: Brazil are getting torn to shreds. 3-0.

22 mins: Wuh oh. 2-0 Germany. All-time World Cup record goalscorer Miroslave Klose receives the ball yards out after some simple give and go passing—he side-foots into Julio Caesar, who parries it back, then he hits it past him into the corner.

17 mins: Holy shit, this is thrilling, top quality stuff. Marcelo races into the penalty box, but the defender times his sliding tackle to perfection and gets all ball. Marcelo flops to the ground, though, and German keeper Manuel Neuer gets in his face about it. Minutes later, Germany are breaking away, but Brazil cut out the pass and retain possession. Really even-looking game so far.

13 mins: Now that Neymar is out, David Luiz and Hulk are looking like Brazil's most creative players. Luiz strides from deep in his own half past three defenders, brushing off one with his arm, then threads a nea through ball down the left side. But the cross is cut out by a German defender.

10 mins: 1-0 Germany!!! That man Thomas Muller (say: moooler) volleys straight past Julio Caesar into the goal from the far post off a corner kick. Five goals in six games for him. Crazy.

Who's your money on? Game starts in five minutes!

 

Comments (48) RSS

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fletc3her 1
I thought this ended.
Posted by fletc3her on July 8, 2014 at 1:13 PM · Report this
fletc3her 2
I kid. I kid. Sorry.
Posted by fletc3her on July 8, 2014 at 1:13 PM · Report this
3
How could they not mark Muller on a corner? Germany strikes first but I still think Brazil will prevail. They are playing like possessed men.
Posted by David from Chicago on July 8, 2014 at 1:14 PM · Report this
delirian 4
Man these teams are good. It just reminds me of how impossible it was for Team USA to get ahead. That goal by Germany was pure textbook.
Posted by delirian on July 8, 2014 at 1:15 PM · Report this
5
Wow. Brazil has a long road back now.
Posted by David from Chicago on July 8, 2014 at 1:22 PM · Report this
dnt trust me 6
the excitement is so fantastic here. I must go watch the television and root for a team. Who's playing? the Oso Mudslides? or is that the badass cocktail i be drinkin, yeah Boyyeeee!
Posted by dnt trust me on July 8, 2014 at 1:22 PM · Report this
delirian 7
Oh shit! There may be riots in Brazil tonight!
Posted by delirian on July 8, 2014 at 1:23 PM · Report this
8
Yikes. 3-0. Okay, so no amount of possession can bring Brazil back now.
Posted by David from Chicago on July 8, 2014 at 1:24 PM · Report this
delirian 9
I don't believe this shit!
Posted by delirian on July 8, 2014 at 1:26 PM · Report this
10
What the fuck is going on here? I thought the fourth one was a replay for a second.
Posted by David from Chicago on July 8, 2014 at 1:26 PM · Report this
11
I can't fucking believe this.
Posted by David from Chicago on July 8, 2014 at 1:29 PM · Report this
dnt trust me 12
@10,11

fear not David from Chicago. It's ok to be confused. it's not a popular emotion displayed by our confident assertive Ansel Boy Troop, but i do think it's the healthier route.
Posted by dnt trust me on July 8, 2014 at 1:29 PM · Report this
13
Germany is going for double digits.
Posted by David from Chicago on July 8, 2014 at 1:32 PM · Report this
dnt trust me 14
I'd rather watch women with Double Ds play
Posted by dnt trust me on July 8, 2014 at 1:35 PM · Report this
delirian 15
I think the ref should make an exception and allow infinite subs. Then they could sub in the actual Brazilian team.
Posted by delirian on July 8, 2014 at 1:35 PM · Report this
16
Germany should save some of these goals for Argentina. Brazil looked so good against Columbia, which is why this is really remarkable. As Ansel points out, the sobbing fans are something to see. They haven't shown them for awhile though.
Posted by David from Chicago on July 8, 2014 at 1:37 PM · Report this
dnt trust me 17
@16
Oh shit, I really have to leave my computer. I LOVE watching people cry.
Posted by dnt trust me on July 8, 2014 at 1:39 PM · Report this
18
Delirian, that would be great. Other AYSO mercy techniques are called for at this point. Germany should switch the offense and defense to stem the tide and give Brazil a shot at scoring.
Posted by David from Chicago on July 8, 2014 at 1:39 PM · Report this
Theodore Gorath 19
The US team has a loooooong way to go, but we have a growing immigrant population, a youth culture that ranks soccer as their second favorite sport (tied with basketball), and a growing soccer infrastructure that is grooming better players who are playing at higher levels at younger ages.

All these things point to a rosy future for US soccer, just not in the next 12 years or so.

World Cup 2030!
Posted by Theodore Gorath on July 8, 2014 at 1:39 PM · Report this
seandr 20
Un. Fucking. Believable.

Hard to tell if the Germans are playing that good, or the Brazilians that bad.
Posted by seandr on July 8, 2014 at 1:39 PM · Report this
seandr 21
It's worth noting that Germany blew a 4-0 lead against Sweden not too long ago.
Posted by seandr on July 8, 2014 at 1:41 PM · Report this
22
TG: I'm a bit more bullish on the US. As Donovan said, we're one or two great players away from being competitive. The US only lost 0-1 to Brazil in group play. But of course Germany wasn't playing like this against us.
Posted by David from Chicago on July 8, 2014 at 1:44 PM · Report this
23
To Germany, not Brazil. Sorry.
Posted by David from Chicago on July 8, 2014 at 1:44 PM · Report this
Will in Seattle 24
Looking forward to the final score of Germany 112-0 Brazil
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on July 8, 2014 at 1:46 PM · Report this
dwightmoodyforgetsthings 25
I had to stop watching. This is just murder.
Posted by dwightmoodyforgetsthings http://www.reddit.com/r/spaceclop on July 8, 2014 at 1:47 PM · Report this
26
The greatest coach's halftime speech in the history of the World couldn't bring Brazil back into this regardless of what happened to Germany vs Sweden.
Posted by David from Chicago on July 8, 2014 at 1:47 PM · Report this
27
Are the Univision announcers really Spanish, or Spanish-speaking? Not to split hairs, but it's the difference between English and English-speaking.
Posted by Jude Fawley on July 8, 2014 at 1:48 PM · Report this
dnt trust me 28
@26
having played enough sports, pre-game, half-time speeches are largely bollocks. Just tell the guys to pop in their mouths an appropriate amount of speed pills, and do your best.
Posted by dnt trust me on July 8, 2014 at 1:53 PM · Report this
29
@27: That's not hair splitting. You're right, of course! Fixed.

For Brazil fans: Imagine Hulk was really The Incredible Hulk, while giant green locusts, like the one that landed on James Rodriguez in a previous game, swarm the field and force a re-match.

Alas.
Posted by Ansel Herz on July 8, 2014 at 1:59 PM · Report this
30
@28 Was joking. Not obvious enough. Sorry.
Posted by David from Chicago on July 8, 2014 at 2:06 PM · Report this
31
@16 Two set piece goals isn't that great a showing imho. I haven't thought Brazil looked good all tournament. Never would have guessed this result but not surprised Germany is winning.
Posted by BusyB on July 8, 2014 at 2:08 PM · Report this
dnt trust me 32
@30
Please don't be sorry, but it's up to you. Of course I knew you were joking, though I ran with the notion of half-time speeches, and my take on them

keep it going. I'll be here too.
Posted by dnt trust me on July 8, 2014 at 2:09 PM · Report this
dnt trust me 33
Ohhhhh, my mistake, I saw David from Chicago and thought I was bouncing off that David Sucher guy who posts on Slog on rare occasions. My turn to apologize, Sucher is an intelligent guy, and something seemed screwy, ok I got it.
Posted by dnt trust me on July 8, 2014 at 2:13 PM · Report this
34
@33 Apology accepted.
Posted by David from Chicago on July 8, 2014 at 2:24 PM · Report this
35
You knew that Muller wouldn't be happy with only 1 goal in this game.
Posted by David from Chicago on July 8, 2014 at 2:25 PM · Report this
36
Oh, it wasn't Muller. But look for him to score again.
Posted by David from Chicago on July 8, 2014 at 2:26 PM · Report this
37
Does anyone know who is singing in the stands? Are those German fans or Brazilians who still have hope? There's another one.
Posted by David from Chicago on July 8, 2014 at 2:34 PM · Report this
seandr 38
@37: Those are Germans singing.
Posted by seandr on July 8, 2014 at 2:35 PM · Report this
seandr 39
@37: Hmm, maybe not. The BBC announcers are saying that the Brazilian fans are saying the "oles" with each German pass.
Posted by seandr on July 8, 2014 at 2:40 PM · Report this
40
Not being from Brazil and rooting for Brazil is like rooting for the Yankees when you've never been to New York, SO HAAAAPPPPYYYY that they are getting destroyed. Germany v Holland is gonna be sick.
Posted by g2000 on July 8, 2014 at 2:40 PM · Report this
41
You know that German keeper is pissed off. But he got caught in no man's land.
Posted by David from Chicago on July 8, 2014 at 2:46 PM · Report this
seandr 42
Brazilians starting their comeback...
Posted by seandr on July 8, 2014 at 2:47 PM · Report this
43
@41: I was wondering if maybe it was like when you're playing with your little brother, and you let him score 1 because you're blowing him out but want him to play again.
Posted by Hanoumatoi on July 8, 2014 at 3:11 PM · Report this
Posted by 109253 on July 8, 2014 at 3:32 PM · Report this
Matt from Denver 45
"... an all European final in Brazil feels wrong..."

They can comfort themselves knowing that they're leaving this thing with the most World Cup wins, just as they came into it. Italy was the only country that could have tied them, and we know how that turned out.

That said, I think Argentina will beat the Netherlands. Which is too bad, because that will put two previous multiple-World Cup winning countries in the final. I prefer it when someone who hasn't won gets the chance.
Posted by Matt from Denver on July 8, 2014 at 3:49 PM · Report this
Gern Blanston 46
I can't believe I'm going to be the first person to use this word....BLITZKRIEG! You would have thought Germany was playing Poland today.
Posted by Gern Blanston on July 8, 2014 at 4:16 PM · Report this
sperifera 47
Nothing could be more humiliating than to have the Argentines beat the Dutch and then win the Cup on Brasil's home turf.
Posted by sperifera on July 8, 2014 at 10:32 PM · Report this
Eva Hopkins 48
My fave quote of the day/game: "I haven't seen a Brazil this glum since Terry Gilliam directed it."

Also, this (must hit play, it's super short) is an accurate description of the game.

http://www.br.de/radio/bayern3/sendungen…

Posted by Eva Hopkins http://www.lunamusestudios.com on July 8, 2014 at 11:20 PM · Report this

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