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Monday, June 30, 2014

Missed Underground Marketing Opportunity

Posted by on Mon, Jun 30, 2014 at 2:05 PM

1404161498_tmp_hostesscupcocks.jpg

Squeamish Sloggers are invited to skip this post—trigger warning for easily squicked folks with vivid imaginations—but it seems to me that the Hostess people (back in business since 2013!) really missed a marketing opportunity when they named these things. If they'd come up with something unique, something along the lines of "Twinkies" (which they went with instead of instead of Yellow Cake With Cream Filling), that hypothetical, alternate-universe name for this Hostess product would've caught on as gay slang for something twinkies do.

You're welcome, Slog.

 

Comments (24) RSS

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Banna 1
In addition to Twinkies, Hostess already has Ding Dongs, Ho-Hos, Sno Balls, Zingers, Fruit Pies, Suzie-Qs and Honey Buns. I'd say they've just about played their homo-slang out. Cupcake isn't gay enough?
Posted by Banna http://www.ucp.org on June 30, 2014 at 2:24 PM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 2
I think Banna @1 just closed this thread to further comments! Take a victory lap!
Posted by Urgutha Forka on June 30, 2014 at 2:29 PM · Report this
3
You're right, Urgutha. So I'm going to get offline now and go Hostess Cupcake the hell out of Terry.
Posted by Dan Savage on June 30, 2014 at 2:32 PM · Report this
4
Out of his Honey Buns. With my Ding Dong. No Sno Balling for us—that's gross.
Posted by Dan Savage on June 30, 2014 at 2:34 PM · Report this
CodyBolt 5
@4 yeah shaved coconut is nasty....
Posted by CodyBolt on June 30, 2014 at 2:48 PM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 6
@4,
Can't tell if you're hungry or horny...
Posted by Urgutha Forka on June 30, 2014 at 2:52 PM · Report this
7
Don't forget to brush your teeth after all these innuendos.
Posted by Jude Fawley on June 30, 2014 at 2:54 PM · Report this
seatackled 8
Dan's going for white cake with cream filling?
Posted by seatackled on June 30, 2014 at 3:07 PM · Report this
The Beatles 9
@1 Personally, I think it's gay enough that they call themselves "Hostess".
Posted by The Beatles on June 30, 2014 at 3:13 PM · Report this
10
Im trying, perhaps too hard, to figure out how Zingers fit in to the theme of this hostess thread.

I guess if Dan gave Terry a "Zinger" in his cupcake...
Posted by longball on June 30, 2014 at 3:59 PM · Report this
11
Okay, maybe it's just 4PM on a Monday or maybe I'm the sheltered and naive gay in the room (which is doubtful), but I am just not getting whatever joke Dan is reaching for. What to twinks do that is an obvious name for Hostess Cupcakes?
Posted by LukeJoe on June 30, 2014 at 4:06 PM · Report this
12
I mean, are we connecting this more to the chocolate part? Or the white part? Cause in my experience most young gays need to be coached (at least a little bit) through the chocolate part!
Posted by LukeJoe on June 30, 2014 at 4:16 PM · Report this
13
@ 11 - I do not have one milligram of naivete in my body, and I don't get it either.

Dan, could you please explain?
Posted by Ricardo on June 30, 2014 at 6:24 PM · Report this
Banna 14
Aw thanks, all. Every once in a while I get lucky. Usually I fall flat.
Posted by Banna http://www.ucp.org on June 30, 2014 at 6:39 PM · Report this
15
@11 & @13, I am totally with you... I don't get it. And I don't think of myself as anywhere near naive. But maybe I am.
Posted by morealex on June 30, 2014 at 7:18 PM · Report this
16
@15
Best I can do is google "What do Twinkies do?" and the answer comes here:
http://tinyurl.com/p9abe9e
"They last a long time."

Does that have anything to do with gay sex? No idea whatsoever.

Anything to do with this post? No idea.
Posted by caution&daring on June 30, 2014 at 9:08 PM · Report this
venomlash 17
My conjecture is rather foul. But that cupcake is chocolatey with a cream filling. :\
Posted by venomlash on June 30, 2014 at 9:49 PM · Report this
18
@17
Like cream filling = cum?
That's worthy of trigger warning?
No, it sounds far more "advanced"-- something which we elderly conservative white male heteros really can't even imagine.
Posted by caution&daring on June 30, 2014 at 9:54 PM · Report this
19
Ok, sooo I'm female (and bi) and naive about gay sex but I totally get where Dan is going here.

I mean, hostess cupcakes are chocolate with cream filling and icing on top, owned by a company with products like twinkles and ding-dongs. If banna's post didn't get you there, I'm not sure what will.
Posted by wingedkat on June 30, 2014 at 9:55 PM · Report this
MarkyMark 20
Without its cream filling, a twinkie is just flat and useless.
Posted by MarkyMark on June 30, 2014 at 10:38 PM · Report this
21
that cupcake looks like santorum
Posted by Drew2u on July 1, 2014 at 4:59 AM · Report this
22
@ 19 - Perhaps it's because English is not my language, but all I see is innuendo without an actual joke.
Posted by Ricardo on July 1, 2014 at 6:31 AM · Report this
hamish108 23
I.do.not.get.it.
If they were strawberry cupcakes with cream filling, I would guess 'felching', but chocolate cake with cream filling? Twinks don't know how to douche?
Ick.
Posted by hamish108 on July 1, 2014 at 7:47 AM · Report this
Alison Cummins 24
They spend a lot of time on the phone? But when was the last time you saw a curly telephone cord?
Posted by Alison Cummins http://cleanmyscreen.peghole.com/ on July 1, 2014 at 10:33 AM · Report this

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