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Sunday, June 22, 2014

Catholic Archbishop Asks Holy Spirit to Cure Gay People

Posted by on Sun, Jun 22, 2014 at 11:02 AM

Pink News:

The Archbishop of Singapore has called upon the Holy Spirit to “restore” gay people to a life of “wholeness” in an open letter.

That would be the same Holy Spirit that couldn't be bothered to cure all those pedophile priests. (Confidential to the Holy Spirit: Before you swing by my place—or wing by my place—to put a stop to all that consensual gay sex, you might want to CURE THE RAPISTS. Go do your holy spiriting to the rapists in Roman collars first, gay people in consensual relationships second.)


Comments (28) RSS

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Call me Scott 1
Looking in the mirror is the toughest thing I do.
Posted by Call me Scott on June 22, 2014 at 11:13 AM · Report this


I thought the Holy Spirit was a guy...or wait...does that mean?

Here's a picture:…
Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe http://_ on June 22, 2014 at 11:13 AM · Report this
Perhaps he misspoke, and meant to say that, "he hopes the Holly Spirit will take all Gay People to The Cure."
Posted by Merchant Seaman on June 22, 2014 at 11:21 AM · Report this
I've thought, but never heard someone else come as close as D.S. just did to saying, that one reason the Church did so wrongly as it did because they weren't willing to acknowledge that their prayers didn't work---some of them mighteven have refused to understand this.

On a related note: celibacy was introduced as a vow in order to bind men to the Church, to make the Church their only family. What do you do when someone in your family is accused of doing something awful?---many of us would at first not believe the accusation, then look for mitigating factors, then some of us might admit that they were true but not be willing to hand over family to a legal system we believe will treat them harsher than they deserved. (You can believe that your brother deserves to do time or should be isolated from society, but not to be gang-raped and then beaten to death. ) This does not excuse the many of the Church who acted so, but I think it helps to better understand them...and we should always try to understand others better, if not for decency's sake then for the sake of defeating them faster.

That is to say:celibacy did what it was supposed to do, and they weren't willing to admit that prayer wouldn't.
Posted by Gerald Fnord on June 22, 2014 at 11:57 AM · Report this
Fnarf 6
B-b-b-but, if priests stop raping kids, how will they ever get laid?
Posted by Fnarf on June 22, 2014 at 12:44 PM · Report this
Sargon Bighorn 7
And ask the Holy Spirit that I get a pony this year on my birthday. Enough of this lazy slacker crap from the H.S.
Posted by Sargon Bighorn on June 22, 2014 at 1:16 PM · Report this
raindrop 8
Why agitate over something you can never change? Homosexuality will always be a sin in Catholicism if not a majority of Christian religions.
Count your blessings. Being gay in an Islamic country is far worse.
Posted by raindrop on June 22, 2014 at 1:20 PM · Report this
Sandiai 9
By "She," Goh was referring to the Church. The Archbishop refers to the Holy Spirit as "He" toward the end of the article.
Posted by Sandiai on June 22, 2014 at 1:31 PM · Report this
Posted by Sandiai on June 22, 2014 at 1:39 PM · Report this
nocutename 11
@3: Thank you!

@10 (Sandiai): I read that in Burt Ward's voice from the old 1960s Batman show (when he'd say things like, "Holy Apparition! ").

So it said, "Holy Spirit, Genders!"
And thank you for that.
Posted by nocutename on June 22, 2014 at 1:47 PM · Report this
this guy I know in Spokane 12
@6 for the hilarious/horrifying win
Posted by this guy I know in Spokane on June 22, 2014 at 1:54 PM · Report this
Next, Catholic Archbishop asks Holy Spirit to be sure that nobody familiarizes themselves with the history of the Vatican, especially the how and why Mussolini granted them sovereignty in 1929. (Shouldn't be difficult for the typical American voter, who normally is unable to locate their genitalia!)
Posted by sgt_doom on June 22, 2014 at 2:01 PM · Report this
Sandiai 14
@11, that's pretty funny, Cute. Now you've got me doing it...

"Holy Father, Son and Holy Ghost, Batman!" (OK, that's awkward).

"Holy Trinity, Batman!"
"Holy Archbishop of Singapore, Batman!"
Posted by Sandiai on June 22, 2014 at 2:06 PM · Report this
nocutename 15
@ Sandiai: You're getting the hang of it.
"Holy Hypocritical politicized gesture, Batman!"
"Holy attempt to make some headlines and get in the pope's good graces, Batman!"

Posted by nocutename on June 22, 2014 at 2:09 PM · Report this
nocutename 16
"Holy Wholeness Restoration!"
I mean, I can totally hear Burt Ward Saying that. In fact, he may have sometime in the 2nd season.
Posted by nocutename on June 22, 2014 at 2:10 PM · Report this
nocutename 17
Here they all are, according to Wikipedia:

Holy Agility!
Holy Almost!
Holy Alps!
Holy Alterego!
Holy Anagrams!
Holy Apparition!
Holy Armadillos!
Holy Ashtray!
Holy Asp!
Holy Astringent Plum-Like Fruit!
Holy Astronomy!
Holy Audobon!
Holy Backfire!
Holy Ball and Chain!
Holy Bank Balance!
Holy Bankruptcy!
Holy Banks!
Holy Bargain Basement!
Holy Barracuda!
Holy Bat-trap!
Holy Benedict Arnold!
Holy Bijou!
Holy Bikini!
Holy Blackbeard!
Holy Blackout!
Holy Blank Cartridge!
Holy Blizzard!
Holy Bluebeard!
Holy Bouncing Boilerplate!
Holy Bowler!
Holy Bullseye!
Holy Bunsons!
Holy Caffeine!
Holy Camouflage!
Holy Captain Nemo!
Holy Carrots!
Holy Caruso!
Holy Catastrophe!
Holy Chicken Coop!
Holy Chiliblains!
Holy Chocolate Eclair!
Holy Chutzpah!
Holy Cinderella!
Holy Cinemascope!
Holy Cliche!
Holy Cliffhangers!
Holy Clockwork!
Holy Clockworks!
Holy Close Encounters of the Third Kind!
Holy Coffin Nails!
Holy Cold Creeps!
Holy Complications!
Holy Consecration!
Holy Contributing to the Delinquency of Minors!
Holy Corpuscles!
Holy Cosmos!
Holy Costume Party!
Holy Crack-up!
Holy Crossfire!
Holy Crucial Moment!
Holy Crying Towels!
Holy Cryptology!
Holy Crystal Ball!
Holy D'artagnan!
Holy Davy Jones!
Holy Dead End!
Holy Demolition!
Holy Dental Hygiene!
Holy Deposit Slip!
Holy Detonator!
Holy Detonation!
Holy Deviltry!
Holy Dilemma!
Holy Disappearing Act!
Holy Disaster Area!
Holy Distortion!
Holy Diversionary Tactic!
Holy Diversionary Tactics!
Holy Doublecross!
Holy Edison!
Holy Egg Shells!
Holy Epicure!
Holy Epigrams!
Holy Escape Hatch!
Holy Explosion!
Holy Falsefront!
Holy Fate worse than Death!
Holy Felony!
Holy Finishing Touches!
Holy Fireworks!
Holy Firing Squad!
Holy Fishbowl!
Holy Flightplan!
Holy Flip Flop!
Holy Floodgates!
Holy Floor Covering!
Holy Flypaper!
Holy Fog!
Holy Fork-In-The-Road!
Holy Fourth Amendment!
Holy Frankenstein!
Holy Fratricide!
Holy Frogman!
Holy Fruitsalad!
Holy Fugitives!
Holy Funnybone!
Holy Gall!
Holy Gambles!
Holy Gemini!
Holy Geography!
Holy Ghost Writer!
Holy Giveaways!
Holy Glue Pot!
Holy Golden Gate!
Holy Graf Zeppelin!
Holy Grammar!
Holy Graveyard!
Holy Greed!
Holy Guacomole!
Holy Guadal Canal!
Holy Gullibility!
Holy H'ordourves!
Holy Haberdashy!
Holy Hailstorm!
Holy Hairdo!
Holy Hallelujah!
Holy Halloween!
Holy Hallucinations!
Holy Hamburger!
Holy Hamlet!
Holy Hamstrings!
Holy Handywork!
Holy Happenstance!
Holy Hardest Metal in the World!
Holy Haziness!
Holy Heartbreak!
Holy Heart Failure!
Holy Helmets!
Holy Helplessness!
Holy Here We Go Again!
Holy Hiedelburg!
Holy Hieroglyphics!
Holy High Wire!
Holy Hijack!
Holy Hijackers!
Holy History!
Holy Hoaxes!
Holy Hole-In-A-Doughnut!
Holy Hollywood!
Holy Holocaust!
Holy Homecoming!
Holy Homework!
Holy Homocide!
Holy Hoodwink!
Holy Hoofbeats!
Holy Horseshoe!
Holy Horseshoes!
Holy Hostage!
Holy Hot Foot!
Holy Hot Spot!
Holy Houdini!
Holy Human's Collector's Item!
Holy Human Pearls!
Holy Human Pressure Cookers!
Holy Human Surfboards!
Holy Hunting Horn!
Holy Hurricane!
Holy Hydraulics!
Holy Hypnotsm!
Holy Hypodermic!
Holy Hypothesis!
Holy I.T. and T.!"
Holy Ice Picks!
Holy Ice Skates!
Holy Iceberg!
Holy Impossibility!
Holy Impregnability!
Holy Incantation!
Holy Inquisition!
Holy Interplanetary Yardstick!
Holy Interruptions!
Holy Jack-In-The-Box!
Holy Jailbreak!
Holy Jawbreaker!
Holy Jelly Molds!
Holy Jetset!
Holy Jigsaw Puzzles!
Holy Jitterbugs!
Holy Journey to the Center of the Earth!
Holy Jumble!
Holy Keyhole!
Holy Keyring!
Holy Kilowatts!
Holy Kindergarten!
Holy Knit One, Pearl Two!
Holy Knockout Drops!
Holy Known-Unknown Flying Objects!
Holy Koufax!
Holy Las Vegas
Holy Leopard!
Holy Levitation!
Holy Lift-Off!
Holy Living End!
Holy Lodestone!
Holy Long John Silver!
Holy Looking Glass!
Holy Lovebirds!
Holy Lutherburbank!
Holy Madness!
Holy Magic Lantern!
Holy Magician!
Holy Mainsprings!
Holy Marathon!
Holy Mash Potatoes!
Holy Masquerade!
Holy Matador!
Holy Mechanical Army!
Holy Memory Bank!
Holy Merlin the Magician!
Holy Mermaid!
Holy Merry-Go-Round!
Holy Metronome!
Holy Miracles!
Holy Miscast!
Holy Missing Relatives!
Holy Molars!
Holy Molehill!
Holy Movie Moguls!
Holy Mucilage!
Holy Multitudes!
Holy Murder!
Holy Mush!
Holy Naivete!
Holy Nerve Center!
Holy New Year's Eve!
Holy Nick Of Time!
Holy Nightmare!
Holy Nonsequiturs!
Holy Oleo!
Holy Olfactory!
Holy One Track Batcomputer Mind!
Holy Oversight!
Holy Oxygen!
Holy Paderevsky!
Holy Parafin!
Holy Perfect Pitch!
Holy Piano Roll!
Holy Polar Front!
Holy Polar Icesheets!
Holy Polaris!
Holy Popcorn!
Holy Pot Luck!
Holy Precision!
Holy Pressure Cooker!
Holy Priceless Collection of Etruscan Snoods!
Holy Pseudonym!
Holy Purple Cannibals!
Holy Puzzles!
Holy Rainbow!
Holy Rats in a Trap!
Holy Ravioli!
Holy Razor's Edge!
Holy Red Herring!
Holy Red Snapping!
Holy Reincarnation!
Holy Relief!
Holy Recompense!
Holy Remote Control Robot!
Holy Reshevsky!
Holy Return from Oblivion!
Holy Reverse Polarity!
Holy Ricochet!
Holy Rip Van Winkle!
Holy Rising Hemlines!
Holy Road Blocks!
Holy Robert Lewis Stevenson!
Holy Rock Garden!
Holy Rocking Chair!
Holy Rudder!
Holy Safari!
Holy Sarcophagus!
Holy Sardine!
Holy Schizophrenia!
Holy Sedatives!
Holy Self-service!
Holy Serpentine!
Holy Shamrocks!
Holy Sherlock Holmes!
Holy Shocks!
Holy Show-ups!
Holy Showcase!
Holy Shrinkage!
Holy Skull Tamper!
Holy Sky Rockets!
Holy Slipped Disc!
Holy Smoke!
Holy Smokes!
Holy Smokestack!
Holy Snowball!
Holy Sonic Booms!
Holy Special Delivery!
Holy Spider Webs!
Holy Split Seconds!
Holy Squirrel Cage!
Holy Stalactite!
Holy Stampede!
Holy Standstills!
Holy Stereo!
Holy Stewpot!
Holy Stomachache!
Holy Strait Jacket!
Holy Stratosphere!
Holy Stuffing!
Holy Stupor!
Holy Suborbit!
Holy Sudden Incapacitation!
Holy Sundial!
Holy Surprise Party!
Holy Switch-a-roo!
Holy Taj Mahal!
Holy Tartars!
Holy Taxation!
Holy Taxidermy!
Holy Tee Shot!
Holy Ten Toes!
Holy Terminology!
Holy Tintinnabulation!
Holy Tip-offs!
Holy Titanic!
Holy Tome!
Holy Toreador!
Holy Trampoline!
Holy Travel Agent!
Holy Trickery!
Holy Triple Feature!
Holy Trolls and Goblins!
Holy Tuxedo!
Holy Uncanny Photographic Mental Processes!
Holy Understatement!
Holy Underwritten Metropolis!
Holy Unlikelihood!
Holy Unrefillable Prescriptions!
Holy Venezuela!
Holy Vertebra!
Holy Voltage!
Holy Waste of Energy!
Holy Wayne Manor!
Holy Weaponry!
Holy Wedding Cake!
Holy Werner Von Braun!
Holy Whiskers!
Holy Wigs!
Holy Zorro!
Posted by nocutename on June 22, 2014 at 2:14 PM · Report this
Sandiai 18
^Holeee shit!
Posted by Sandiai on June 22, 2014 at 2:24 PM · Report this
Holey rusted metal, Batman! (Best line of that mediocre movie)
Posted by Hanoumatoi on June 22, 2014 at 2:43 PM · Report this
Pope Peabrain 21
People who believe in ghosts can't cure anything.
Posted by Pope Peabrain on June 22, 2014 at 4:49 PM · Report this
At least the Presbyterians have provided some good news lately.
Posted by vennominon on June 22, 2014 at 6:04 PM · Report this
Knat 23
"Anachronism living in god-forsaken hellhole utters anachronism about gay people."
Posted by Knat on June 22, 2014 at 7:10 PM · Report this
nocutename 24
Yes, God bless the Presbyterians. Although I was surprised to learn that they hadn't already been there.
Posted by nocutename on June 22, 2014 at 7:32 PM · Report this
Just gay people get his wishes for wholeness? There are so many messed up people in this world and he's giving gay people preferential treatment over everyone else?! Just because I'm straight means that I don't deserve to be whole and cured too? Favoritism!
Posted by PennAqua on June 22, 2014 at 9:24 PM · Report this
sissoucat 26
Spot on Dan.

I'd add a wish to cure the Nuns of their sick mistreatment of babies and youngsters too.
Posted by sissoucat on June 23, 2014 at 7:35 AM · Report this
There's something I notice in church: wording that can go either way. I'd guess that the content of the Archbishop's letter positions him as anti-gay, but if you said, "Bring gays into a life of wholeness" as part of the prayers at mass, you could have people praying that their families would accept them for who they are, that the law would acknowledge them as fully contributing members of society, that their efforts to raise their own families would no longer be blocked. My local priests (blue state) don't get into Catholic politics much, but when they do that's how it usually goes.
Posted by DRF on June 23, 2014 at 12:19 PM · Report this
I'd settle for the Holy Spirit curing cancer. Wouldn't that be more useful on the whole?
Posted by abrock_ca on June 23, 2014 at 12:38 PM · Report this
Ophian 29
nocute @17, +1. That's a hell of a list. Too many favorites to list.

Tangential: my favorite minced oath is Son of a Bonacci! Mathematical/historical humor isn't everyone's cup of tea, but...
Posted by Ophian on June 23, 2014 at 3:45 PM · Report this
sissoucat 30

As in Fitz-Bonacci ?


May I add my two favorites, Holy Dick ! and Holy Pussy !
Posted by sissoucat on June 24, 2014 at 3:04 AM · Report this

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