1. Cirque du Murry Soufflé Buffet Mystery Dinner Theater

Overview: It's a multiuse dinner-theater arena with a paintball maze, a sheep-petting zoo, and 30 brand-new Skee-Ball machines. It will also have a sports-book gambling quadrant and nine miles of electronic track for slot car racing.

Specs: Each evening starts with some light appetizers, such as bacon-wrapped dates, and $19 vodka sodas. The play begins, as do mild skate-park activities. Train sounds are pumped throughout. It's Murder on the Bertha Express. An actor playing the inspector announces, "Someone in this tunnel has committed a murder, and no one is leaving until we find out who did it." Toronto mayor Rob Ford is lowered in and pumped full of crack cocaine. You can hunt him with an elephant Taser gun for a price. Actors do scenes, while butlers mingle and serve crackers with Gouda and pimento spread. All of the butlers are short and bald, and one of them is Jeff Bezos. You don't know which butlers are actors hired to shave their heads every day and which butlers are butlers who just happen to be bald and which butlers are Jeff Bezos. Likewise, you don't know which sheep are real and which ones are actors in sheep's clothing. If you don't like the way a butler/Bezos is serving your crackers, you can pull out your automatic paintball weapon, which you rented for $85 when you came in, and splatter the butler/Bezos with bright-colored pellets that cause bruises and welts on contact. Then you can dive behind a padded baffle. All butlers wear protective goggles. For a nominal fee, they will engage you in a paintball skirmish. This is a gold mine.

Downside: The smell of sheep.

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