The stressful conversations Farhad Dolatizadeh had with his family about being gay are nothing like the conversations gay men in America have with their families. Iran executes men for being gay. Iran's leaders say gay people don't exist. It's not unusual for a family to side with authorities over a family member. In this essay, Farhad Dolatizadeh describes what it was like living in Iran while coming out to his aunt, his brother, his dad, and his mom.
And then the telephone rings:
I recognize my cousin's familiar voice, but I can tell immediately that something is very, very wrong.
"Farhad. I saw you on the TV," he declares. Coldly.
What? TV? My mind races, but I cannot imagine what he could be referring to. Before I can respond or even question him, he says, "I know what you are. I know what you are and I don't want to see you anymore."
The line clicks dead.
I'm frozen. I am unable to speak... I fumble for the remote control, and the TV comes to life. I flip through the channels until I find something unusual. They are showing a documentary about gay people in Iran and letting people around the world know how hard and dangerous it is for gays in this country…
I begin to feel dread when the camera pans across a restaurant I know well. It is the spot where gay people in Tehran gather every Tuesday. Where I go most Tuesdays. Now the camera is inside the restaurant, and they are showing us. They are showing our faces. They are showing my face. It is obviously shot with a concealed camera. A long lens, zoomed in—my face filling the screen for several seconds. Casually chatting, completely unaware. They are even sure to identify the restaurant by name. And we don't know we are being filmed.
