Read the whole new issue of The Stranger over here (or click on the cover)!


1. The Stranger's obsession with the Seattle Police Department persists in this week's issue with not one, not two, but three stories taunting those who protect and serve Seattle. TONYA MOSLEY claims to be a better detective than trained ones with years of experience on the force! ANSEL HERZ apparently thinks the police can and should be omnipresent, or else they are a failure! DOMINIC HOLDEN sets up the brand-new police chief for disaster! Does the staff of The Stranger think it could do a better job of policing the city? List at least five ways in which they would fail spectacularly. Remember that they are partially or entirely intoxicated during almost every waking hour (and require a lot of beauty rest).

2. The Stranger's Communist bent is also in evidence this week with not one, not two, but three stories on the evils of capitalism. PAUL CONSTANT praises the latest work of a known radical author to the skies! BETHANY JEAN CLEMENT thinks tacos should be free and that Lenin's mustache was cute! BRENDAN KILEY reviews a show about the woes of the working class at a theater that also happens to be named after the criminal Bolshevik dictator! Is there anything that cannot be twisted into near-incomprehensibility to support the paper's red agenda?

3. In music, MEGAN SELING makes an unwelcome return to The Stranger's pages with a more-than-graphic diagram to accompany her vulgar material. What justification could there possibly be to print so-called artwork like this:

beyond sheer sensationalism? Be specific, if you are still able to function after such retina-searing crudity.

4. And every issue of The Stranger may be counted on to provide some nonsensical, pseudo-intellectual, and also-probably-Communist-though-it's-hard-to-tell ramblings from CHARLES MUDEDE. But does this:

This consciousness departs from the failed postcolonial, postindependence projects of the past and now finds itself thoroughly entangled in the neoliberal global order of flows that are free for finance and telecommunication technologies but restricted for labor.

represent a nadir in Mudede's prose? If not, please provide an example of his work that makes even less sense.