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Monday, May 12, 2014

Did I Eat a Pizza or a Salad?

Posted by on Mon, May 12, 2014 at 11:34 AM

This weekend I ate the most amazing pizza I've ever had. At least I thought it was a pizza. It was covered with roasted strawberries, blue cheese, watercress, an egg, and a very generous drizzling of balsamic reduction. The crust was crispy on the outside, perfectly chewy and tender in the middle—the whole thing was a wonderful combination of sweet, smoky, and salty. I mean, just look at this beautiful thing:

Pizza. Not salad. Pizza.
  • Pizza. Not salad. Pizza.

But when I posted a picture of it on Instagram, expecting everyone to be envious of my lunch, some of my friends were like "MEGAN, THAT'S NOT PIZZA. THAT'S A SALAD." I'm sorry, friends, but you're wrong. It was absolutely a pizza. Pizza can have fruit and vegetables on it and still be a pizza. It had crust! And cheese! It was cut into slices (well, squares, but that counts)! I ate it with my hands! You do not eat salad with your hands and salad does not have a crust.

Clearly, neither side is going to stand down, so this requires a legally binding Slog poll. Can a pizza be covered with fruits and vegetables and still be a pizza? Or once greens and berries are involved, does the meal just become a fancy baked salad served on a bread plate? Vote now!


Comments (39) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
How could you write this whole post and never once tell us where you got it?? Pizza, salad, who cares! It looks delicious.
Posted by bpinsea on May 12, 2014 at 11:40 AM · Report this
jp 2
As soon as you add fruit, it's no longer "pizza." You could call it "artisan cheesy flatbread" or something. This goes double for any so-called "pizza" with pineapple on it, which is no longer a pizza, but an abomination.
Posted by jp on May 12, 2014 at 11:45 AM · Report this
Megan Seling 3
@1 Well, I didn't want to mention it because I got it from a place in Nashville, TN called Bella Pizza, which is so, so far away from Seattle. :( Sorry for teasing you with it. (It was so delicious!)
Posted by Megan Seling on May 12, 2014 at 11:52 AM · Report this
rob! 4
It was a salad baked in a pizza, duh. :)
Posted by rob! on May 12, 2014 at 11:54 AM · Report this
dnt trust me 5
i was talking to a homeless woman on the street this weekend. She was eating almost the exact same pizza. Said she used her ass for the oven.
Posted by dnt trust me on May 12, 2014 at 12:02 PM · Report this
@2: You are insane. Pineapple goes well with so many things. Also, for whatever reason, my 18 year old cat, who won't eat anything (she hasn't spent a day of her life over 7.5 lbs, and she's not small lengthwise) will eat pineapple off pizza.

Beats us, but she enjoys it, and it gets her food AND water.
Posted by Hanoumatoi on May 12, 2014 at 12:05 PM · Report this
Jaymz 7
Totally agree with @2 - first pineapple, then what? Raspberries? Cantaloupe? Mango? People with eat anything combined with bacon, apparently....

"Hawaiian Pizza" is "artisan cheesy flatbread" to me from now on!
Posted by Jaymz on May 12, 2014 at 12:12 PM · Report this
Dougsf 8
@2 and @6 Not to mention... tomatoes.

There's a place near me that does something very similar. It's delicious, but then you wake up the next day all stoked you've got left over pizza and you're all "oh yeah... this." [sad trombone]

So, yes, pizza, but you better order a cheese or peperoni or something more pizza-ey along with it or you're going to be left with that "just had [pizza] but still craving [pizza]" feeling that also happens with artisan doughnuts and really really fancy hamburgers.
Posted by Dougsf on May 12, 2014 at 12:16 PM · Report this
Gern Blanston 9
It's a dessert topping, AND a floor wax!
Posted by Gern Blanston on May 12, 2014 at 12:16 PM · Report this
Post_Mortem 10
People who say fruit belies pizza forget what tomatoes and peppers are. They are, in short, numbskulls.

As to your pizza, Meagan, I'm glad you liked it, but for some reason, it just doesn't look that good to me. I'm also not a fan of Balsimic, so there's that.

In other words: Yes, it's a pizza, clearly.No, I wouldn't eat it.
Posted by Post_Mortem on May 12, 2014 at 12:19 PM · Report this
jp 11
@8 In sauce form, sure, but fuck raw tomatoes. Only sociopaths with no interest in goodness put raw tomatoes on a perfectly good pizza. Nothing is worse than leftover pizza with flaccid, spongy slices of grainy raw tomato, an affront to pizza nearly as egregious as pineapple. Almost worse, because when you try to pry off a nasty slice of raw tomato, it takes a bunch of cheese and sauce with it.

My argument stands. Sure, your pineapple may be "good" on flatbread with cheese and some kind of sauce, but the instant one of those yellow devils hits the cheese etc., it no longer qualifies as pizza.
Posted by jp on May 12, 2014 at 12:26 PM · Report this
Jaymz 12
More thoughts: Pizza is like pornography - you know it when you see it. My distain for fruit pizza doesn't mean I don't appreciate experimentation, I just retain my right to be abhorred with the results.

Yes, blue cheese sounds nice, and I used to get a pizza with cashews from that place by Gas Works Park I really liked. But I also had a chicken pizza a few weeks ago that tasted like a casserole on bread - BAD pizza, GOOD casserole.

I just don't want strawberries on my "pizza".
Posted by Jaymz on May 12, 2014 at 12:32 PM · Report this
rob! 13
@10, clearly(dot)no deserves to be a real Web site. Get on it, Norway!
Posted by rob! on May 12, 2014 at 12:35 PM · Report this
keshmeshi 14
I hate blue cheese on pizza. That said, all you fruit-on-pizza haters have clearly never had a pizza with a savory fig concoction. Delicious, especially when paired with caramelized onions or a balsamic something-or-other.


I've never tried to feed my cat pineapple, but she goes nuts when I bring a whole pineapple home. She loves chewing on the spiky top.
Posted by keshmeshi on May 12, 2014 at 12:38 PM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 15
A pet peeve of mine is when people call balsamic vinegar simply "balsamic." The word balsamic is a description of the vinegar. If it's too much work to say both words, then it would be better to call it simply "vinegar." Only calling it balsamic is like referring to French fries as "French," or green olives as "greens."
Posted by Urgutha Forka on May 12, 2014 at 12:50 PM · Report this
Pizza should never have fruit. Acceptable vegetables include green peppers, onions, mushrooms, garlic...end of list. Meat toppings should be pork products.
Posted by unpaid reader on May 12, 2014 at 12:57 PM · Report this
None of the options were for a burnt pizza, which is what I am seeing no?
Posted by michael bell on May 12, 2014 at 1:07 PM · Report this
delirian 18
@10: To be fair, a tomato can legally be called a vegetable.
Posted by delirian on May 12, 2014 at 1:17 PM · Report this
19 Comment Pulled (Spam) Comment Policy
And we won't even get into the crazy stuff the Japanese put on their pizzas: corn niblets, fish roe, seaweed, and - ugh! - mayonnaise; all of which are standard toppings from any typical Japanese Pizza Hut franchise.

Let's face it: the only thing you really need for something to qualify as "pizza" these days is a grain-based crust with a little cheese on top; everything else is optional.
Posted by COMTE on May 12, 2014 at 1:32 PM · Report this
Post_Mortem 21
@20 Cheese is optional. See Amy's vegetarian pizza, vegan concoctions, Turkish style, and so on.
Posted by Post_Mortem on May 12, 2014 at 1:45 PM · Report this
Done well, a plain cheese slice is the best pizza. Restaurants outside of the northeast's Boston to Northern NJ "Good Pizza Corridor" pile a lot of shit on their pizzas because they're trying to hide the fact that they can't get a basic cheese pizza right. That being said, this thing is clearly a pizza.
Posted by MRM on May 12, 2014 at 1:45 PM · Report this
Dougsf 23
@11 truth be told, I find very few toppings acceptable on pizza—75% of my pizza intake either a cheese slice or margherita, an occasional mushroom and pepperoni or sausage and pepper, and round out the last percent is OH GOD THAT WAS A FUCKING MISTAKE.

I really just felt like defending this because I'm hungry. I'd probably see that sitting there and pick all the berries off like an asshole.

While we're here—cornmeal crust...just... NO. Stop it.
Posted by Dougsf on May 12, 2014 at 1:48 PM · Report this
keshmeshi 24


Definition of BALSAMIC

1: of, relating to, yielding, or containing balsam
2: made with balsamic vinegar (a balsamic vinaigrette)

Unless "French fries" are so called because they contain French people, you're wrong.
Posted by keshmeshi on May 12, 2014 at 1:51 PM · Report this
Yeah, this looks burnt to me. Gross. You shouldn't be seeing big black, broken bubbles (or any bubbles) in crust that's done right.
Posted by Amanda on May 12, 2014 at 1:52 PM · Report this
keshmeshi 26

Also, I regularly refer to Kalamata olives as just "kalamatas" because that's common parlance. Everyone knows what I'm talking about, because they're not stupid.
Posted by keshmeshi on May 12, 2014 at 1:53 PM · Report this
Reverse Polarity 27
1.) First, whatever you want to call it, it is burnt, and therefore gross. Regardless of anything else you top it with, it should not taste like charcoal.

2.) Even if it were not burnt, I would still fall into the not-pizza camp. Pizza without pizza sauce is not pizza. It is vaguely pizza-like flat bread with miscellaneous toppings. It might even be delicious (if not burnt), but it is still not pizza.
Posted by Reverse Polarity on May 12, 2014 at 2:44 PM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 28
If that's the definition, then you still shouldn't refer to balsamic vinegar simply as "balsamic." It doesn't contain balsam, for one, and it's silly to refer to vinegar as being "made with vinegar."

But whatever, call it whatever you want. This is a useless argument.
Posted by Urgutha Forka on May 12, 2014 at 2:55 PM · Report this
I am of the opinion that you had a pizza, Megan.

I am also conscious of the fact that I miss Berkeley's Cheeseboard Pizza. Curried potato slices and roasted garlic pizza FTW.
Posted by MissEli on May 12, 2014 at 3:12 PM · Report this
cressona 30
Megan @3: Well, I didn't want to mention it because I got it from a place in Nashville, TN called Bella Pizza, which is so, so far away from Seattle.

My first thoughts on coming across this post, in order:
1. That's an awesome-looking pizza.
2. Strawberries on a pizza? I dunno.
3. That must be a Nashville pizza.
4. It's so wonderful that Megan Seling is still writing for Slog, even if she's now in Nashville.

Megan, no one will notice if the occasional Stanley Cup playoffs post comes from Nashville. It's not like a Seattle dateline makes a difference for NHL hockey. BTW, I have so little hope for the Penguins.
Posted by cressona on May 12, 2014 at 3:37 PM · Report this
mikethehammer 31

You've little hope for arguably the most talented team in the league going into a home game that'd put them into the eastern conference finals? They'll be fine, bring on Boston for a rematch.
Posted by mikethehammer on May 12, 2014 at 3:46 PM · Report this
Dougsf 32
@17 & 25. The lightly charred crust is a thing. A certain pizza school would tell you that pizza is cooked perfectly.
Posted by Dougsf on May 12, 2014 at 5:10 PM · Report this
Fred Casely 33
@29: I missed it a little less when I got this. Excellent recipes for both dough and toppings, as well as breads, muffins, cookies and pastries.
Posted by Fred Casely on May 12, 2014 at 5:50 PM · Report this
cheese and garlic pizza with tomato sauce yum.

I love strawberries, but not cooked or on a pizza.
Posted by silverelf on May 12, 2014 at 6:40 PM · Report this
persimmon 35
Fucking West Coast pizza.
Posted by persimmon on May 12, 2014 at 7:04 PM · Report this
Roma 36
Pizza + salad = Pissaladière.

Not really. I just wanted to use the word pissaladière.
Posted by Roma on May 12, 2014 at 9:47 PM · Report this
That is neither pizza nor salad nor the abomination of Flatizza. It is a slice of heaven on flatbread and I MUST HAVE IT.

@35: Can't be, she got it in Nashville.
Posted by Jenkitty on May 12, 2014 at 11:30 PM · Report this
Tomato=fruit. Fruit on a pizza is fine.
Posted by cawingcrow on May 13, 2014 at 5:14 PM · Report this
hmmmm, where's the seaweed?
Posted by renzonovanori on May 15, 2014 at 12:01 AM · Report this

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