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Friday, May 9, 2014

Police Beat: A Pit Bull and a Gun

Posted by on Fri, May 9, 2014 at 7:23 AM

In this police report, authored by Officer Nathan Patterson, a man looks out of an east-facing window of his house and sees "a Hispanic male, in his early 20s, allowing a brown and white pit bull dog to defecate on [his] side [of the] lawn." The lawn owner pounds on his window and orders the dog owner to clean his pet's feces. The dog owner responds with two words: "Fuck you." The lawn owner exits his house and confronts the young man on the sidewalk. The dog owner again refuses to clean up the mess, and, as if the pit bull also does not want its owner to pick up its shit, it attacks the leg of the lawn owner. Eventually, the dog owner pulls a pistol from his waistband. This is always the American moment of truth. The gun is the most blunt form of communication there is for the common man. In one motion, the crowded table of an argument, a disagreement, is cleared of all but two things: death or life.

Though the dog owner doesn't point the gun at the lawn owner, the lawn owner fears that he might be trapped in the last moments of his life, that the exit to all the days he spent in this world turns out to be, of all things, a stinking and steaming pile of pit bull shit. But there is no report, no sudden transition from everything to nothing. Time is on his side, for now. The pit bull owner departs without discharging his weapon or cleaning up the dog's mess. An area check for the suspect yields negative results.

 

Comments (9) RSS

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1
Time is on the Perpetrator's side too, since the report states:
V_ TOLD ME THAT HE HAS SEEN THE SUSPECT IN THE AREA BEFORE AND IS AFRAID THAT THE SUSPECT WILL RETURN AND SHOOT HIM.

But that doesn't happen in Columbia City, where the citizens encourage informants to speak freely to the police.
Posted by ChefJoe on May 9, 2014 at 8:01 AM · Report this
2
When this happens in Madison Park they just call a lawyer.
Posted by Speedy Gonzales on May 9, 2014 at 8:21 AM · Report this
3
Piece of shit leaves piece of shit.
Posted by Billy Chav on May 9, 2014 at 9:21 AM · Report this
4
Will Columbia City ever live up to the hype? Still nasty after all these years.
Posted by Billy Chav on May 9, 2014 at 9:22 AM · Report this
5
So, now it is OK to shoot Hispanic men with bull dogs.... I mean they carry guns and do ugly shit, right? Preemptive strikes are the answer.....
Posted by pupuguru http://www.godsweed.org on May 9, 2014 at 10:36 AM · Report this
Buttercup 6
@5 huh? shut up, troll. you are fucking stupid and annoying. go away.
Posted by Buttercup on May 9, 2014 at 11:55 AM · Report this
7
The victim was "shocked" that confronting this pit bull toting, upstanding member of society resulted in a pistol being flashed? I see.
Posted by seatownr on May 9, 2014 at 12:44 PM · Report this
TCLballardwallymont 8
Number of homeowners who own guns in the city: +1
Posted by TCLballardwallymont on May 9, 2014 at 1:11 PM · Report this
9
@4 - hasn't been to Columbia City with eyes open in 10+ years
Posted by nullbull on May 9, 2014 at 8:06 PM · Report this

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