May is all about celluloid. And booze! And unbridled fudgepackery. SIFF opens next week (OH! THE GAYNESS! OH! The VODKA!), so does the very queer Shorty Shorts (more on that in a later column), and tonight brings us the exciting opening of Translations, Seattle's nine-year-old film festival celebrating all things transgender—the joys, surprises, and singular struggles. Tonight this acclaimed three-day film fest (May 8–11) opens with, um, live performance? Huh. Live performance! It's the West Coast premiere of a multimedia transtravaganza called The Naked I: Insides Out, featuring live monologues as well as film. It's going to be fascinating, and dare I say transformational? Um, no. I dare not. Sorry. Harvard Exit, 7:15 pm, $16, all ages.