Supreme Court Says Praying to Jesus Is Totally Cool at Public Meetings: Fucking hell. It was a 5-4 decision. Here's the New York Times on what went down and here's Justice Elena Kagan's dissent. (Scroll past the majority opinion.) "That is not the country we are, because that is not what our Constitution permits," Kagan writes. As Savage writes, "I'm looking forward to cries of 'Sharia law!' and 'Anti-Christian persecution!' when a town with a Muslim majority decides to begin all their city council sessions with Imam offering prayers to Allah."

276 Nigerian Schoolgirls Are Still Missing: You read that right, two hundred seventy-six girls kidnapped. They were all about to finish school, and they were kidnapped by an extremist Muslim group whose name means "Western education is a sin." The lack of international outrage is an outrage. If you are new to this story, start here: "While there has been a major international search for the missing people on Malaysian flight MH370, and nonstop news coverage, there has been no meaningful search for the even greater number of missing schoolgirls."

Nigerian Government Is Not Helping: "Nigerian authorities have arrested one of the leaders of a protest calling on them to do more to find more than 200 girls abducted by Islamist rebels, a source in the presidency and another organiser of the protest have said."

CNN Is Not Helping Either: Jesus Christ, CNN.

Seattle Man Allegedly Turned Basement of a Magnolia Home into a One-Stop Shop for Heroin and Firearms: SeattlePI.com reports that a man "is alleged to have put himself forward as a dealer of high-end weaponry—military-style rifles, silencers and body armor—to people who couldn’t buy guns through legal means." Investigators say they also found "a full set of body armor, Seattle Police Department patches, a Pacific Police Department badge and two small explosive devices."

Naked Man in the Streets of Portland Hit and Killed by a Car: "Portland Police say a naked man who was reportedly doing push-ups in the road was struck and killed by a car early Sunday."

Turbulence on a Flight Between Philly and Orlando Injures Six Passengers: "There were a lot of people on that flight who thought, 'Oh, that's it.' "

Target's CEO Resigns Five Months After Hackers Stole a Ton of Bunch of Customer Credit and Debit Card Info, Including My Grandma's: See you later, waxy smiling guy.

A Bunch of Ringling Brothers Circus Aerialists Plummet to the Ground: In front of 3,900 people, many of them children, eight aerialists fell during a show yesterday and landed on some other performers. Now they're all in the hospital, some in critical condition. The accident happened during a part where performers "hang like a human chandelier" using their hair. Eeesh. Here's video of what happened.

Polio: Once thought to be nearly eradicated, now the paralyzing virus is spreading.

That High School in Pennsylvania Where a Sophomore Stabbed 20 Other Students? Now everyone has to carry around all their belongings in clear plastic bags.

Seattle Symphony Is Performing at Carnegie Hall Tomorrow Night: In addition to Debussy and Varèse, they'll be playing John Luther Adams’ “Become Ocean,” which the orchestra commissioned and premiered last year, Seattle Times reports. The piece won the Pulitzer Prize for music. Seattle Symphony music director Ludovic Morlot says, "I knew it was a very special piece, but ... it almost makes me laugh that John Luther Adams won the Pulitzer for music with this piece, not even having heard it live yet. New York will be the first time for him to hear this.” Here's how the audience responded to the piece at its premiere in Seattle: