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Friday, April 25, 2014

Police Beat: "A Bitch I Fucked in the Ass"

Posted by on Fri, Apr 25, 2014 at 10:45 AM

The blow to the victims head knocked off his fedora.

In this police report, the officer logs into service and responds to the report of an in-progress strong-armed robbery at NE 143rd Street and Lake City Way. Upon arrival, he makes contact with the victim, who is being treated by Seattle Fire Department for minor injuries.

The victim makes this statement: At approximately 0305 hours, he left his apartment for a walk. He walked north on one street, turned east on another. It is at this point he observed the suspects. One suspect asked him questions about where he lived, but did not like the answers he received. The suspect accused him of getting "fresh." The victim then heard one of the males talking about jumping him. At that point, he decided to keep on moving.

After a short distance later, he went into a 7-Eleven, and saw the suspects at the store. He kept on walking southbound on Lake City Way. Eventually he found two suspects were walking in front of him, and three were behind him. He realized this was a bad situation.

He stopped at the bus stop to have "a brief conversation with an unknown citizen." The suspects began talking to him again, and he kept walking. The suspects followed him to NE 140th Street and Lake City Way, where things escalated. The victim heard one male say: "I just got out of prison, homie, and you remind of a bitch I fucked in the ass the entire time I was there." The victim told the suspects that he didn't want any problems, did not want to fight, he just wanted a walk. One suspect threw a punch at the victim but he avoided being hit. The victim turned to walk away, and he was hit on the head.

A curious detail enters the report here, one that makes you wonder about what was really going on and if this incident was not in essence a hate crime: The blow to the back of the victim's head knocked off his fedora.

From the report:

The victim bent over and picked up his fedora. Suspect #1 then punched him in the back of the head, again causing his fedora to hit the ground. He picked up his hat and kept moving, trying to put some space between him and his attackers. Suspect one then punched him in the right cheek... The continued attack knocked the fedora off again. This time, one of the suspects grabbed his hat. After the attack, all the suspects fled S/B on Lake City, from NE 140th Street.

The victim was advised to call 911 if he saw his attackers in the future.

 

Comments (24) RSS

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1
>story is about a fedora
>posts a picture of a trilby

At this moment I am euphoric because I am enlightened by my own intelligence
Posted by GermanSausage on April 25, 2014 at 10:52 AM · Report this
2
"I just got out of prison homie, and you remind of a bitch I fucked in the ass the entire time I was there."

Damn gentrifying yuppies ruining Lake Shitty Way.
Posted by Bro' from Bellevue on April 25, 2014 at 11:07 AM · Report this
3
does the fact that the man had his fedora knocked off his head make this funny? i don't get it.
Posted by Dengus McNacho http://squeakcast.tumblr.com on April 25, 2014 at 11:20 AM · Report this
MacCrocodile 4
@3 - It knocked his hat off multiple times as he tries again and again to pick up his hat and carry on his way. Try to imagine it as a scene in a Buster Keaton movie, and it becomes a lot funnier.
Posted by MacCrocodile http://maccrocodile.com/ on April 25, 2014 at 11:25 AM · Report this
5
Have the police considered looking for street camera footage of these predators? Certainly, there must be footage of this man's long ordeal? These predators will only escalate their bad behavior and find other victims.
Posted by lee harris on April 25, 2014 at 11:27 AM · Report this
seatackled 6
Slog Police Beat.

Discuss.
Posted by seatackled on April 25, 2014 at 11:28 AM · Report this
7
The victim should find out how many of those thug ex-cons were brought to this area under the Interstate Compact signed by former governor Gary Locke and former governor Christine Gregoire, then he should sue the holy hell out of those two.

Their signing that compact brought 3 out of every 4 ex-cons to Seattle specifically, and the Puget Sound region in general.

Usually, in these circumstances, Locke and Gregoire are to blame, both legally and ethically: you want more crime, you bring in more criminals.
Posted by sgt_doom on April 25, 2014 at 11:30 AM · Report this
8
Perhaps Charles' longest and most desperate stretch at hyping a story that falls far short of matching the sensationalism of the headline - a silly story and poorly written at that. This is the new Slog in which nothing every happens.
Posted by JPierce on April 25, 2014 at 12:03 PM · Report this
9 Comment Pulled (Trolling) Comment Policy
10
I'll be fascinated to hear Charles' fedora/hate crime connection.
Posted by bigyaz on April 25, 2014 at 12:10 PM · Report this
laterite 11
I guess we're not going to talk about the wisdom of going for a "walk" at 3 in the morning in Lake City?
Posted by laterite on April 25, 2014 at 12:33 PM · Report this
sperifera 12
@11 - I've found that bad things are more likely to occur if you're outnabout at 3 am than at 3 pm. Funny, huh?
Posted by sperifera on April 25, 2014 at 12:56 PM · Report this
Phoebe in Wallingford 13
@11: Pioneer Square perhaps. But it is surprising up in Lake City. And remember, criminals don't rule the night. Citizens should feel free to get some exercise 24/7 everywhere.
Posted by Phoebe in Wallingford on April 25, 2014 at 1:15 PM · Report this
TacomaRoma 14
Nothing good happens after Midnight. Make a note of that.
Posted by TacomaRoma on April 25, 2014 at 1:19 PM · Report this
15
@14 You may be thinking of Gremlins.
Posted by Large Hardon Colluder on April 25, 2014 at 1:55 PM · Report this
schmacky 16
@11: Not that any part of Lake City is a good place for a 3am stroll, but that portion of the neighborhood is particularly iffy. I'm sorry, but going out in that area at that time...wearing a fucking fedora!...seriously makes me question the dude's intelligence/judgment.
Posted by schmacky on April 25, 2014 at 1:58 PM · Report this
17
Anywhere from 135th to 145th west of Lake City Way is not safe even at 3 PM.
Posted by sarah70 on April 25, 2014 at 2:41 PM · Report this
18
If he was wearing a fedora he probably deserved it
Posted by Reader01 on April 25, 2014 at 2:43 PM · Report this
19

Everybody's gonna leave their seat
You gotta lose your mind in SEAtroit Rock City

Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe http://_ on April 25, 2014 at 3:29 PM · Report this
20
Sounds like a really tough situation. I'm glad I wasn't there.

If I had a gun in that situation, there's a definite chance I'd have used it. And that would have been bad for everybody involved. Having said that, I try to avoid situations like that and stay the hell away from violence.

I still can't help but to think that if Fedora Man were getting the shit kicked out of him by thugs and he pulled a piece and started shooting, Chuck Mudede and the SLOG would be the first to vilify him.
Posted by CPN on April 25, 2014 at 4:15 PM · Report this
NotSean 21
@11 someday, when you are the victim of a violent crime, remember you too could have avoided it, if only you had chosen to be somewhere else. Really, you were asking for it.
Posted by NotSean on April 25, 2014 at 4:25 PM · Report this
22
I can't believe I just read 5 pages of police report describing how suspects beat on a man wearing a fedora after they followed him for 5 blocks, past a 7-11 clerk and a random person at a bus stop, and none of them were able to provide a description that was entered into record for any of the individuals.

It's almost like Harvey (because they missed it once) didn't want to provide any description of the people who robbed him of $1 (only one suspect is referred to, but they use pronouns like there are more than one).
Posted by ChefJoe on April 25, 2014 at 10:18 PM · Report this
23
Charles continues to not be funny. Violence is never funny.
Posted by AndieSeattle on April 25, 2014 at 11:50 PM · Report this
24
Must be a slow news day for SLOG.
Posted by cmuberti on April 26, 2014 at 12:30 PM · Report this

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