Yes, yes, there is a county in North Carolina called Transylvania. But not to worry! Transylvania just means "through the woods" or "across the forest" and definitely doesn't mean, like, "Most certainly filled with vampires" or anything. I was in Transylvania County last week, in the town of Brevard, visiting family, and I didn't see a single vampire except maybe that one guy at Arby's. But! I did see a lot of other crazy things, like churches, and purple trees in the early blush of spring, and, um, hey, um, guys? What's that little white ghost running through that tree right there? And bounding down the tree and running across the lawn? It looks like a... oh my god it's flying through the air!
OHMYFUCKINGGOD! A flying* white squirrel. As you know if you follow me on Twitter, I recently died of a panic attack caused by this little colorless little agent of evil. Two of them, actually; my mom has a skinny one in her front yard and a fat one in the back yard. Thankfully, I died in Transylvania, where there's life after death. Since dying, I've been doing some googling, and legend has it these white squirrels arrived in this town by way of an overturned circus truck. Take it away, random website I found:
It all started with Mrs. W.E. (Barbara) Mull, a long time resident of Brevard, North Carolina. Her brother-in-law, H.H. Mull, was given two white squirrels by a Mr. Black of Madison, Florida way back in 1949. The pair of white squirrels had been squirreling around in Mr. Black’s pecan grove ever since a circus truck had overturned near his home. H.H. Mull then gave the little white critters to his niece Barbara Mull up in North Carolina. She kept them inside and hoped they might even breed, but alas, no such luck.
In 1951, Barbara Mull got married and went her way. In her absence, one of the white squirrels escaped outdoors. Not long afterwards, Mr. Mull (Barbara’s father) let the other heart broken and love stricken white squirrel go free. A short time later, little white squirrels began appearing in various parts of town—apparent direct or indirect off springs of this “Adam and Eve” pair.
*OK, OK, they don't actually fly. Except in animated gifs and in my nightmares and from tree branch to tree branch.
Now then, to the polls!