Free Ping-Pong!
Did you know that City Hall has a secret womb-colored and bagel-scented ping-pong table on its bottom floor? WELL IT DOES. Yeah, that's right—womb-colored from the wall of red-glass doors that surrounds the alcove where the table sits, turning the whole space into a cavernous womb room, and bagel-scented from the little bagel shop next door. That fucker is amazing. It's a total fluke: Seattle City Council member Nick Licata is obsessed with ping-pong and got Northeastern University's Seattle campus to sell the City of Seattle the table for a dollar, just for fun. You can get paddles and a ball from the information desk with your ID.
Obviously, going to City Hall stoned isn't for everyone, so you can always try a bar. Teddy's in Roosevelt has a table out back, as does the Roanoke Park Place on Capitol Hill and the Twilight Exit in the Central District, during the warmer months. Olde 99 up on Aurora is reported to have one inside, accommodating all weather.
And ping-pong is such a stoner sport! One warning, though: Do not play against real ping-pongers (e.g., Council Member Licata—he will bruise you). ANNA MINARD
Go Swing a Racket
Being stoned and sedentary has its virtues, but stoned racket sports are a special kind of pleasure.
