Thursday, April 17, 2014

CNN Says: Rapper Severs Penis and Jumps off a Balcony

Posted by on Thu, Apr 17, 2014 at 7:59 AM

The rapper, Christ Bearer, whose fame is not great but who is said to be associated with the Wu-Tang Clan (a NYC hiphop group that went into decline 16 years ago) apparently survived the fall....

Rapper Andre Johnson [Christ Bearer] severed his penis and jumped from a Los Angeles apartment building early Wednesday, police said.
Johnson was seriously injured, but survived the fall from the second level of the building in North Hollywood, Los Angeles Police Sgt. William Mann said.
Johnson, along with his recovered penis, was taken to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, where he was being treated, Mann said.
This post says that the doctors were not able to reattach the rapper's penis.

To use Christ Bearer's own words, "it's a tough galaxy"....


Comments (24) RSS

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Johnson lost his johnson?
Posted by The world weeps ... tears of laughter on April 17, 2014 at 8:21 AM · Report this
Phoebe in Wallingford 2
How incredibly disturbing and sad.
Posted by Phoebe in Wallingford on April 17, 2014 at 8:32 AM · Report this
Jesus Christ. For me personally, I would not want to survive such a suicide attempt.
Posted by wxPDX on April 17, 2014 at 8:38 AM · Report this
Did they reattach the johnson to Johnson?
Posted by John Thomas wants to know on April 17, 2014 at 8:45 AM · Report this
Pope Peabrain 5
What an incredible moron.
Posted by Pope Peabrain on April 17, 2014 at 8:47 AM · Report this
On first reading the headline I thought his name was Severs Penis.
Posted by jeffg166 on April 17, 2014 at 8:50 AM · Report this
Luckily Johnson rhymes with Johnson so he can lay down a beat and make a good rap out of his night.
Posted by John Thomas weeps tears of laughter on April 17, 2014 at 8:58 AM · Report this
SoUt 8
@6 that's his new name.
Wow, this dude made a weird choice.
Posted by SoUt on April 17, 2014 at 8:59 AM · Report this
Kinison 9
This guy is going to attempt to kill himself again, comics wont be able to resist creating raps about not having a penis as most rappers just love to talk about how big their jimmy is, even skinny pale white boys like Macklemore.
Posted by Kinison on April 17, 2014 at 9:13 AM · Report this
Andre and the angry inch
Posted by hifiandrew on April 17, 2014 at 9:30 AM · Report this
lark 11
Good Morning Charles,
Sigh. It is extremely difficult to have empathy for this fool. I wish him recovery but he'll probably never get fully recovered. Clearly, he has other issues.

This will affect his future "performance".

Just had to.
Posted by lark on April 17, 2014 at 9:40 AM · Report this
Gern Blanston 12
Hold my dick!
Posted by Gern Blanston on April 17, 2014 at 10:08 AM · Report this
delirian 13
@11: Why is it hard to have empathy for him? Do you not have empathy for people who are suicidal or facing psychosis?
Posted by delirian on April 17, 2014 at 10:25 AM · Report this
I can't help but keep wondering if the guy severed his penis, and then decided to throw himself off the balcony, or took the time enroute to his planned fall, to sever his penis.

I am also intrigued by the thought of the method by which he severed his penis, and can only hope it was some Wu Tang Clan style shit, like a bizarre western remix of seppuku.
Posted by another thin line that separates laughter and pain on April 17, 2014 at 10:27 AM · Report this
15 Comment Pulled (Trolling) Comment Policy
Not forgotten, but not re-membered.
Posted by Ouchouchouch on April 17, 2014 at 11:03 AM · Report this

Aren't rappers like 95% penis?

Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe http://_ on April 17, 2014 at 11:44 AM · Report this
@16: ow.
Posted by Hanoumatoi on April 17, 2014 at 12:17 PM · Report this
Christ, people. Have some sympathy for the kind of intense mental anguish that must have led him to this point, and the horrible emotional and physical road he has ahead of him. I mean, what if the word "rapper" was replaced with "person with body dismorphia" or "trans person"? Would you all be making jokes then?
Posted by wxPDX on April 17, 2014 at 12:53 PM · Report this
" Would you all be making jokes then?"

If their last name is Johnson? Probably.

Last question: did Johnson jump with his johnson in his hand?
Posted by I guess he can't call women 'bitch' anymore on April 17, 2014 at 1:16 PM · Report this
lark 21
I hardly know anything about him (I didn't watch the video). I never heard of him until Charles' post. That one doesn't judge all people who attempt or even commit suicide the same doesn't render one less of a humanist. There have been some nasty people who have done themselves in and they may not have been psychotic at all.

That said, I still want him to recover fully and wish him well. But, considering the attempt and his self castration the macabre humor was unavoidable. Notice the postings.
Posted by lark on April 17, 2014 at 1:23 PM · Report this
In the words of Bill Burr:

I’m envious of women, okay? I’m not saying your problems get solved but at least they are taken seriously, you know. I think we 1800 numbers, you got ribbons, there’s groups; people give a shit. Anything happens to a guy, it’s just considered funny. Some woman cut her husband’s dick off, threw in the garbage disposal and turned it on. People thought it was hilarious, I mean, "Hey, hey! Stumpy!" Nobody cares.
Posted by doceb on April 17, 2014 at 1:25 PM · Report this
Mental anguish? Perhaps, more likely the dude was jacked out of his brain on meth, bath salts PCP or some other fascinating new designer drug. I would think a person would really have to be trippin out to cut off his dick, unless his girl did it and then pushed him of the balcony? I hear his is a real prick to women. (pun intended)
Posted by Mean Machine on April 17, 2014 at 2:11 PM · Report this
Darwin wins again.
Posted by longwayhome on April 17, 2014 at 8:31 PM · Report this

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