Sinks Ever Lower: Under the neighborhoods section on the site's homepage there's a link to "Capitol Hill." That takes you to a blog written by someone named Charlette LeFevre, who identifies herself as a member of the newly launched business lobby OneSeattle. There's a small-print disclaimer in the sidebar that LeFevre's opinions are her own and not the P-I's, but the writing is atrociously bad and offensive for good measure. LeFevre asks on March 15: "When will Seattle City Council members Jean Godden and Sally Clark bitch slap Kshama Sawant for being so annoying?" This comes on the heels of the P-I running a taco advertisement disguised as news.

OneSeattle Totally Isn't An Astroturf Group: "[I]t seems hard to argue that 75-100 people can be somehow artificially manufactured but there you go," the group's spokesman tells msnbc. Twitter decided to be lame and suspend the hilarious parody site's Twitter account.

Rideshare Companies Going to the Ballot Against Regulations: Uber and Lyft have each invested in $200,000 in gathering signatures and preparing for a referendum to overturn the Seattle City Council's caps on how many vehicles they can have on the streets. "Getting the referendum on the ballot would also keep the services of Lyft, uberX and Sidecar illegal—just as they have been since entering the Seattle market a little more than a year ago," the Seattle Times notes in passing. Some Uber drivers, meanwhile, say the company treats them like expendable cogs in a machine.

NSA Says It Didn't Know About Heartbleed: The agency is denying a report from Bloomberg News that exploited the bug for two years instead of informing the public about it. The NSA never lies, so it must be true.

Pope Francis Makes on Sexual Abuse Within the Church:: "I feel compelled to personally take on all the evil … and ask forgiveness."

In Los Angeles Yesterday: Selfies amidst suicide.

You Do Not Matter, Get Out: That was the message, delivered with tear gas and clubs, to Rio de Janeiro's urban poor on Friday as they evicted hundreds of people from a vacant building wanted by a telecommunications company. These photos are heart-wrenching.

Your cheery four-minute guide to the USA's booming prison population: