Huloooooomosexuals! This week’s Homosexual Agenda is all about ‘Mo-Wave, as is good and just and meet. However! There are one or three wonderful thises and thats that the wise ‘mo mustn’t miss.

THURS, APRIL 10th
The Rizo Returns
Just about once a year—right around this fresh and springy time, in fact— a beautiful song bird from NYC flies into town on her foot-long eyelashes to lavish us all with her chanteuse-y talents and glamor. Tonight is the night! The Lady Rizo is truly one of the most charming and dazzling solo performers working, and I never miss a chance to wallow in her. "Caburlesque" is what she calls her sassy mélange of vaudeville, cabaret, and comedy, but what I call it is, “unforgettable”. And although she has attained healthy successes in New York City and beyond, did you know she graduated from Cornish? True story. The Triple Door, 7:30pm, $18, 21+.

SATURDAY, APRIL 12th
Happy Birthday, Kevin Kauer!
Few have done more for Seattle’s gay nightlife than Kevin Kauer. That boy has thrown together the biggest and most notable events in town for at least the last three years, he rules The Eagle and reigns over Pride, he has brought in top-drawer talent from around the country and thrown epic extravaganzas. He’s got his fingers in everyone’s big gay pie, and tonight we celebrate the nativity of the bearded lady-boy who has given us all so much. DJs Jimmi Jackson and Derek Pavone will be spinning, Amo A Nia and Cuntella Von Tease will be on hand, J-Ello shots and indecent amounts of exposed boy-flesh are assured to ensue. “And I’m going to put The Golden Girls on the TVs,” Kevin assures us, “cuz FUCK YOU, THAT’S WHY.” I didn’t hear anyone complaining. The Eagle, 10pm, $5-$7, 21+.

SATURDAY APRIL 12th
BACON BITS
I know, I know—it’s been roughly twelve-beeeeeelion years since we’ve all been to a Bacon Strip, and YES, it’s still kicking. This is mostly because we have to hike all the way to Theater off Jackson to see it now, and DAMMIT I’M LAZY. (And allergic to leaving The Hill for any reason, as you know.) Well! Tonight all that changes. The theme is, “Mizz Honey Bucket and the Seven Bears”, which might sound like an average Thursday on Aurora, but is really just their Disney themed night they throw once a year. Mizz Honey, Sylvia, Cherry—all the usual suspects, with DJ Tony Burns and nearly naked Nathan Wayne as the Bacon Boy. I predict Little Mermaids aplenty. Theater Off Jackson, 10PM, $10, 21+.