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Friday, April 4, 2014

Police Beat: A Long Bulge In His Pants

Posted by on Fri, Apr 4, 2014 at 9:27 AM

According to this police report, Officer Luckie and his partner were patrolling the streets of West Seattle when they received a call about a male with a sawed-off shotgun:

ON WALKING PATH THAT ENDS NEAR BUS STOP ON SW BARTON ST, APPROX. lO MALES IN A GROUP HAD A SAWED OFF SHOTGUN, LOOKING AT GUN, NOT BRANDISHING.

When the officers arrived on the scene, they found a group of four males and one female, and noticed that one of the four men had "a long bulge down the front of his pants." The man with the bulge was handcuffed by the officers, and a sawed-off shotgun with a 12-inch barrel was taken out of his pants.

Officer Luckie then conducted a safety check of the weapon (it was unloaded), but its identification number had been "obliterated with a tool." The other members of the group were released from the scene, and the man who allegedly hid the illegal sawed off shotgun in his pants was taken to the police station for processing.

Yes, the ghost of Mae West is all over this report: "Is that a pistol in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

 

Comments (8) RSS

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Banna 1
Charles Mudede trying to work his way into playing the Borscht Belt.
Posted by Banna http://www.ucp.org on April 4, 2014 at 9:31 AM · Report this
The Third Rail 2
Officer Luckie finds a guy with a long bulge down the front of his pants? There's a porn in there somewhere...
Posted by The Third Rail on April 4, 2014 at 9:36 AM · Report this
dnt trust me 3
@1

Unbuckle the belt to reach around and pinch the Jacques Derrier.
Posted by dnt trust me on April 4, 2014 at 9:48 AM · Report this
4
"I named my right thigh Christmas and my left thigh New Years. Why don't you come up and visit me between the holidays?"

-the actor who played the air traffic controller in Airplane said that on stage when appearing in Kentucky Fried Theater's multi-media comedy shows in LA in about 1975
Posted by bareboards on April 4, 2014 at 10:19 AM · Report this
5
@2 that was my first thought. I bet he's hearing a ton of bad jokes right now.
Posted by CobaltBlue on April 4, 2014 at 10:47 AM · Report this
YeahMeToo 6
Thanks for this Charles.

It's not quite clever enough to be an April Fools prank, even though Luckie found what looked like a real-looking sheriff's badge in his wallet, but it was just a Junior Yellowstone Ranger badge.
Posted by YeahMeToo http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Me_too on April 4, 2014 at 10:48 AM · Report this
7
A group of black males committing crimes? I'm shocked.
Posted by JustGhettoTrashKeepin'ItReal on April 4, 2014 at 11:29 AM · Report this
8
You too can own your very own junior yellowstone ranger badge for $10, shipped from Hong Kong. Although difficult to read through the average peephole, it's probably enough to get someone to open a door to inquire further. Good thing these misguided youths would never do a home invasion.

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Yellowstone-Jr-P…
Posted by ChefJoe on April 4, 2014 at 1:00 PM · Report this

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