Friday, April 4, 2014

Does Gene Simmons Wear a Rug?

Posted by on Fri, Apr 4, 2014 at 1:25 PM

I'm NOT tryna be a dick, I'm sure the icon 'hasta do what the icon 'hasta do to maintain his iconography, but... I don't know if I've ever seen such a head of hair on anyone else. When he's in God Of Thunder mode he obviously wears a wig, he's prolly even copyrighted his damn top knot, so that makes sense, but when he's off the clock?!?

C'mon, let it all hang out, even if you ain't got SHIT to shake!!


Comments (19) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
Does it seem to anyone else that, in general, Baby Boomers kept their hair into middle age longer than Gen-Xers are keeping theirs now?

I am suspecting above ground nuclear tests in the 1950s and 60s.
Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe http://_ on April 4, 2014 at 1:38 PM · Report this
dnt trust me 2
Tell the Antichrist to borrow that wig next time she comes round.
Posted by dnt trust me on April 4, 2014 at 1:40 PM · Report this
This is literally the worst thing ever:…
Posted by Narbles on April 4, 2014 at 1:48 PM · Report this
nipper 4
@3 WOW. I didnt think he could sink lower than his "sex" tape.
Posted by nipper on April 4, 2014 at 1:52 PM · Report this
I am pretty sure he is a gorilla in disguise. It's not a wig. He shaves his face.
Posted by gnot on April 4, 2014 at 1:55 PM · Report this
Pope Peabrain 6
I think he stole that from Imhotep's tomb.
Posted by Pope Peabrain on April 4, 2014 at 1:59 PM · Report this
dnt trust me 7
In comparison to the 99% of us, celebrities are flat out whores. People like Simmons and Joan Rivers wear it with a capital W. As for Dan Savage, who knows the future. I'd say for now he's still a good ole lower case whore.
Posted by dnt trust me on April 4, 2014 at 2:04 PM · Report this
Max Solomon 8
it's no more fake than Rand Paul's.
Posted by Max Solomon on April 4, 2014 at 2:27 PM · Report this
Kinison 9
Its not a rug, clearly its a single shorn cut from a bears ass.

Is it me or does he look like the late Phil Hartman's "Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer" character?
Posted by Kinison on April 4, 2014 at 2:48 PM · Report this
If he were wearing a well-made wig or toupee, it would actually look better. What he's apparently doing is growing out his remaining hair, dyeing it black, and painstakingly (though not expertly) using hairspray to fix it into place to appear like a full head of hair. That's why it never moves and looks dried out and shiny at the same time.

Gene is vain, cheap and dated. He had success doing one thing one way in the 70s, and he's going to keep doing the exact same damn thing for as cheap as he can no matter how ridiculous it looks until he dies.
Posted by Kicking It Septuagenarian Style on April 4, 2014 at 3:13 PM · Report this
Fnarf 11
It has to be a wig. If it was his real hair, he could afford a better dye job.
Posted by Fnarf on April 4, 2014 at 3:17 PM · Report this

Gene is really, really cheap.

He dyes his hair at home, and uses a comb, picks, brushes, hair dryer and something more akin to shellac than hairspray to fix his comb-up-over-then-back hair style into place.

Hurricane winds and rains will not prevail against it.

If you had a really old, retired uncle, preferably Jewish, in NY, NJ or FL, you would recognize this masterful technique of "concealing" their hair loss.
Posted by Indestructible Doo on April 4, 2014 at 3:38 PM · Report this
@12, You think he's too cheap get hair plugs?
Posted by neo-realist on April 4, 2014 at 3:41 PM · Report this

In addition to being cheap, Gene is also averse to change and pain.

So, is it possible? Sure, but not likely.

Gene would do botox because he can get it done cheap and at home like the dye job and the "tan."

Getting hair plugs, though, is surgery, and surgery freaks Gene out.
Posted by More Zaide Than Badass on April 4, 2014 at 4:39 PM · Report this
Reverse Polarity 15
Fuck, dude. Get a little self respect.

If you're gonna wear a rug, at least pay more than $1.50 and get a decent one that doesn't look fucking ridiculous. That has to be one of the worst rugs I've ever seen.
Posted by Reverse Polarity on April 4, 2014 at 4:51 PM · Report this
@14 he had a face lift
Posted by gnot on April 5, 2014 at 1:53 AM · Report this

If you actually watched him go through the procedure in season two of his reality show in 2007, you would know he really doesn't like surgery and only went through the "face lift" with Shannon after weeks (probably longer) of her coaxing him into it.

Google "Gene Simmons Family Jewels Season 2" and watch it. The facts about his aversion to surgery come direct from Shannon and from the mouth of the man himself.
Posted by Passive Aggressive Pissants on April 5, 2014 at 7:31 AM · Report this
undead ayn rand 18
@17: You're the sort of imbecile who believes things scripted into reality shows.
Posted by undead ayn rand on April 6, 2014 at 10:39 AM · Report this
stirwise 19
Does the pope shit in the woods?
Posted by stirwise on April 7, 2014 at 9:36 PM · Report this

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