I asked James to expound on the meaning of Transmissionary's song âSarcasmâs Hard.â He replied with the following dispatch, which you can read after the jump:
"Sarcasmâs Hard", an Unprovable Math Proof in Nine Steps
1. "Sarcasmâs Hard"
First we get rid of the contraction. Like Commander Data would.
2. Sarcasm is Hard
Now letâs relieve ourselves of that pesky verb.
3. Sarcasm = Hard
This looks like a joke to us because everyone knows being sarcastic is easy. Itâs like sooo totally easy. Itâs heaps easier to critique than to create. And way less vulnerable. So letâs try the converse:
4. Sarcasm = Easy
Now weâve created a discrepancy. If we plug in our new âEasyâ value into the original equation, we're faced with:
5. Easy = Hard
Which doesnât discourage us or freak us out at all because we know âEasyâ and âHardâ are just âhuman designationsâ exempt from âspace and time.â When the âEarthâ was âcreated 4,000 years agoâ man and woman had no concept of âeasyâ and âhardâ until King Jesus came down with his laser beam and told all of us that we should not pay fourteen dollars to see Darren Arnofskyâs Noah.
If we believe number five, then we also have to believe:
6. Sarcasm : Hard :: Sarcasm : Easy
Okay Yoda, and Buddha, and Descartes. Okay Archimedes and Nietszche. We know two antithetical ideas cannot coexist in a vacuum or on a frictionless plane or in so many boxes with as many foxes. Maybe one of the foxes is Schroedingerâs. It matters not. Onward.
7. Sarcasm : Hard :: Genuine : Easy
I think I can feel it starting to kick in now, man. Letâs eat some oranges. Or go to the park. Time to call Timbaland, sip that sizzurp, and go get those beats weâve been waiting on. Chop it up and reverse it:
8. Sarcasm : Easy :: Genuine : Hard
Now take me all the way home, Stephen Hawking. Peer through that looking glass:
9. Sarcasm : Sarcasm :: Easy : Hard
This is an airtight technique designed to promote a Monday night rock show.
âNothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?â - Lewis Carroll
âWhose time was wasted more by this? The authorâs or the readersâ?â - Jacob James