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Monday, March 24, 2014

Where Did the Bone in the Human Penis Go?

Posted by on Mon, Mar 24, 2014 at 8:46 AM

The erection of a male chimpanzee is achieved with the assistance of an actual bone. No such bone is found in a human erection...

  • Charles Mudede

Humans split with chimps some 5 or 7 million years ago. Did our common ancestor have this bone that chimps retained and we lost? Or did the common ancestor have no bone for this purpose like us, and the chimps evolved it alone. Though we must never forget that chimps have also evolved over this great amount of time, it's most likely that they are closer to the ancestor in this regard because another close relative of ours, the gorilla, also has this bone, which is called a baculum (the common ancestor for chimps, gorillas, and humans existed 8 million years ago).

Why do we not have a bone in our boner? And surely this absence of a hard thing makes our erections much more spiritual. Is this the origin of religion? This absence?


Comments (20) RSS

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mkyorai 1
I was following up until the last paragraph. You pretty much lost me at "Is this the origin of religion?"
Posted by mkyorai on March 24, 2014 at 9:22 AM · Report this
Phoebe in Wallingford 2
I'm glad you feel spiritual when you get an erection Charles. You are blessed, and I'm sure great lover.
Posted by Phoebe in Wallingford on March 24, 2014 at 9:40 AM · Report this
Allyn 3
Dearest Charles, your erection may feel spiritual to you, but it is indeed a physiological response to stimuli.

You guys seem to think your boners are all that and a bag of chips. I assure you: they are not all that to everyone. However, I'm glad you enjoy your boners so thoroughly.
Posted by Allyn on March 24, 2014 at 9:48 AM · Report this
AirBuddy 4
I feel so much less alone and crazy knowing that you and presumably others also see a giant boner in the lines of that building.
Posted by AirBuddy on March 24, 2014 at 9:56 AM · Report this
Pope Peabrain 5
I think it disappeared about the time we started experimenting with positions other than doggie.
Posted by Pope Peabrain on March 24, 2014 at 9:57 AM · Report this
One theory regarding the rise of man is that we are mutant chimpanzees who have benefitted from continuing juvenile traits into adulthood. An example is that a human's ratio of brain size to body size is closer to that of a baby chimp than an adult. Perhaps the boneless boner is a simple, undeniable advertisement of cardiovascular fitness.

As well, consider the bonobo. It is a chimp-like primate whose social structure is radically different. Their hierarchy is less rigid, they do not wage war on competing tribes like the chimps, and social bonds are reinforced through sex, amongst both the males and females.

For many years it was thought that chimpanzees were our blood brothers, or the closest thing to in the animal kingdom, and the bonobos were outlyer freaks, an evolutionary dead end, a stub of a thing best left to die in the jungle. However in modern times, with benefit of a genetic analysis which is purely mathematical and not clouded by expectations of 'proper' human behaviour, it is clear that bonobos and chimps are equally related to us, and we to them, and that the split between them happened after the split between them and us.
Posted by Helicia Insularis on March 24, 2014 at 9:58 AM · Report this
DeaconBlues 7
goddamnit, charles
Posted by DeaconBlues on March 24, 2014 at 10:00 AM · Report this
Theodore Gorath 8
Charles' work would always be improved if he just cut out the last paragraph/few sentences of everything he wrote.
Posted by Theodore Gorath on March 24, 2014 at 10:17 AM · Report this
Fistique 9
god took it out to make Eve, duh
Posted by Fistique on March 24, 2014 at 10:24 AM · Report this
Fistique 10
I mean it's like no one thinks before commenting
Posted by Fistique on March 24, 2014 at 10:25 AM · Report this
treacle 11
@3, Um, that's two bags of chips... ahem.
Posted by treacle on March 24, 2014 at 11:02 AM · Report this
Yes Charles, small just means you're more evolved.…
Interestingly, our closest living relatives, including the chimpanzee, possess penis bones, but those bones are very small. It is possible that our primate relatives may too eventually lose their bacula.

Indeed, perhaps it’s more a question of why the other great apes still have bacula, rather than why we humans lack them. Complete loss of a baculum in humans seems to just continue a trend towards baculum size reduction which is found among the great apes.

It is also thought the presence of a baculum is associated with longer mating or perhaps just much more mating (as in the case of the lion discussed above). Perhaps the mating systems of humans are such that they don’t require this additional help.
Posted by ChefJoe on March 24, 2014 at 11:18 AM · Report this
Max Solomon 13
Charles, I see that Kittens Cabaret has free passes available.

@3: you don't actually seem that happy for us.
Posted by Max Solomon on March 24, 2014 at 11:36 AM · Report this
Allyn 14
@13 I see that in my derision of Charles' miraculous erections, I may have caused the inference that I am unimpressed by the male erection.

Hmmm. Well, I suppose I am unimpressed. However, I am quite fond. I am very fond, indeed.
Posted by Allyn on March 24, 2014 at 12:05 PM · Report this
venomlash 15
@9: Some people have suggested that, since "tzeilah" ("צֵּלָע", literally "rib") is used to describe other rib-like structures and support beams, the rib taken from Adam could indeed have been the baculum. However, Genesis 2:21 uses the plural phrase "achat mitzal'otav" ("אַחַת מִצַּלְעֹתָיו", literally, "one of his ribs"), suggesting that Adam had more than one. So that interpretation perhaps is inaccurate, unless the plural referred to both costae and baculum together. (Reference:…)
Posted by venomlash on March 24, 2014 at 12:14 PM · Report this
Fistique 16
lol. like I'd turn to biblical scholarship for lessons on the contents and context of the bible. no, penis-bone it is, for definite.
Posted by Fistique on March 24, 2014 at 1:05 PM · Report this
Posted by rob! on March 24, 2014 at 2:21 PM · Report this
Charles Mudede 18
@15 made my day.
Posted by Charles Mudede on March 24, 2014 at 3:34 PM · Report this
Sounds like Mr. M is waxing on about his waning manhood.
Viagra in your future?
Posted by fotoeve on March 24, 2014 at 11:49 PM · Report this
Walruses and raccoons and most other mammalian species have penis bones. Fur traders used to use raccoon penis bones for toothpicks.
Posted by idaho on March 29, 2014 at 11:56 AM · Report this

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