Hey there you big gaymosexuals! A thing or two:

FRIDAY/SATURDAY, March 21st-22nd
A Strange Weed Growing

FIRST! Now, you just CANNOT be forgetting about LaGanja Estranja tonight and tomorrow at R Place, I refuse to allow it. So please take note: LAGANJA ESTRANGA IS PERFORMING TONIGHT AND TOMORROW AT R PLACE. (Don’t even MAKE me tattoo it on your ass.) You know? LaGanja? The RPDR Season 6 queen I went all hater-aid on in my RuPaul’s Drag Race RuCap this week? Exactly. Well I’ve changed my mind about her for a few hot seconds, so ignore my vitriol entirely and go see her. (Capriciousness. You are my perdition.) R Place, 9:30 pm, $12/$25 VIP, 21+

FRIDAY, March 21st

But what I REALLY recommend you do is go see LaGanja on Saturday night, because tonight is for DICKSLAP. You know it’s in my top three monthly events—I’m simply MAD about the damn thing—and I would be criminally negligent if I forgot to bring it to your attention. I know, I know: we are all going to The Eagle NEXT weekend too, because Jinkx Monsoon is back in town (at long last!) and she’s going to be dancing in the go-go cage, but missing a Dickslap is just something I cannot live with. Of course, we are all going to stop by PONY tonight too, for Sylvia O’Stayformore’s CD Release party (Tales From a Broad—HA!), but that strikes me more as a earlier, pre-funk sort of a do, and we can do both, right? Of course we can. (It’s why we live in the damn gay city—options!) Tonight’s Dickslap is hosted by Amoania, DJed by Nark and Brian Lyons (who NEVER DJs the Eagle, so this will be like a Bigfoot sighting or something), Earthen Oxytocin will be performing, Baby Bear (grrrr) and Dave Raring (from Julia's) will be working the cage, and all of the usual debauchery can be expected. The Eagle, $7-$10, 9PM, 21+.

MONDAY, March 24th
Watch RuPaul with Ben, Sarah, and Jinkx!

There are barely enough words to express how fun the RuPaul’s Drag Race watching parties with Ben Delacreme (GOOO BEN! #teamdelacreme!), Sarah Rudinoff, Faggedy Randy and special guest are—especially since the next one’s special guest is none other than the reigning queen JINKX MONSOON herself. She’s performing of course, but I predict the best part will be the banter between her and Ben—if you’re into the inside dish, you really must not miss it under any circumstances. (I suggest you get there early.) Century Ballroom, doors at 6:30 pm/show at 9 pm, free, all ages.

Oh! And before I forget, a personage of power and influence over such matters is wondering WHAT RPDR DRAG QUEEN he (or she!) should book for Pride this year. It could be anybody! Shangella? Alaska? Detox? Magnolia Crawford? (Kidding! Kidding.) Pick your queen! Old, new, pageant, comedy, or shade, it doesn’t matter—please leave your recommendations in the comments below, and I promise to ensure that your wise words and heartfelt yearnings fly right to his (or her!) little ears. Your opinion could influence the future of Pride! #tellmethings!