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Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Scott, the Millennial Republican, Has Opinions About Things

Posted by on Wed, Mar 19, 2014 at 3:01 PM

The Republican Party is paying a lot of money to run these ads on cable TV:

Scott Greenberg is a millennial with hip glasses, a hip haircut, hip facial hair, a hip leather jacket, and a hip striped shirt. Did you realize? Scott is very hip. But did you also know that Scott is [RECORD SCRATCH] ...a Republican? (Here, have a napkin for that spit-take you just pulled. I think you might have just ruined your keyboard. Also, all your coworkers know there's whiskey in that coffee. You're not fooling anyone.) It's true! Young people can have self-centered, baseless opinions about political issues, too! Some young people worry about Pain at the Pump™! Some young people obsess over mysterious, vague regulations that hurt business! This is a thing that happens!

But let's just pretend for a minute that Scott Greenberg does somehow manage to convince a millennial to check out this hip young Republican Party that all the kids (or one kid who's on TV, at least) are talking about. What would they find?

It's no surprise that Scott's opinions don't stray very far from the economy. Scott doesn't share his opinions about gay marriage. That's because Republicans know their social issues lose young people, who are overwhelmingly for gay marriage. Scott doesn't talk about abortion, or how much he hates the separation of church and state. He doesn't talk about how the youth are leading America into a pit of hellish amorality, and he definitely doesn't talk about how there should be laws to curb all that sex and drugs and internet sex-video-chatting all the kids are doing. But those are the things you'll find at pretty much any meeting of Republicans. (Trust me, I've been to quite a few.) And those are the things that scare young people away from the Republican Party. These ads might ignore those issues, but they aren't going to change the reality of the party.

Also, you'll also notice that Scott is a very white-looking man driving a ridiculously un-hip sedan. It's maybe too much to hope that the Republican Party could find a woman of color to star in this ad, but demographics are really the only thing these ads are honest about: This is a party for old white men and the young white men who agree with them. Pretty hip.


Comments (44) RSS

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keshmeshi 1
He looks like a younger John Hodgman. If he's the "hippest" Republican out there, that's pretty sad.
Posted by keshmeshi on March 19, 2014 at 3:12 PM · Report this
Geocrackr 2
Did he mention he's a Log Cabin Republican? Cause he's setting off my gaydar like crazy. Interesting that the R's would go that route in a commercial...
Posted by Geocrackr on March 19, 2014 at 3:14 PM · Report this
Fnarf 3
This was put out by the Democrats, right? Because there is no way in hell that smug little twerp is going to attract any voters, or anything else, to his side.
Posted by Fnarf on March 19, 2014 at 3:15 PM · Report this
The kid reminds me of me when I was that age!
Posted by Ken Mehlman on March 19, 2014 at 3:15 PM · Report this
MacCrocodile 5
If they had found a young woman of color to appear in the ad, we'd be picking on them for hiring an actress in a cynical attempt to appeal to a demographic their spreadsheets say they need to attract. Which they're already doing with this, they're just going one characteristic at a time. Am I misremembering, or did they recently do an ad attempting to appeal to black people? Next up is the ads appealing to women, Hispanics, Asians, and Other Race Not Specified Above. Then, if all goes well, the ad attempting to appeal to gay men (but no lesbians, that's another ad they're just not ready to make).
Posted by MacCrocodile on March 19, 2014 at 3:17 PM · Report this
Also, cable TV? To try and catch the young-ins? No.
Posted by meeps on March 19, 2014 at 3:18 PM · Report this
I've never met a hip-looking person who votes Republican. Should I get out more?
Posted by originalcinner on March 19, 2014 at 3:20 PM · Report this
Posted by couchetard on March 19, 2014 at 3:24 PM · Report this
Yes, this is ridiculous, but at least they are trying to do outreach to younger voters. Eventually they will figure it out through trial and error. Meanwhile, Democrats continue to ignore younger voters. I had an FB discussion with a local political consultant whose name rhymes with "Dean Nielsen" who tried to argue that it didn't make sense for Dems to do any outreach to younger voters because they won't show up anyway so who cares.

Posted by junipero on March 19, 2014 at 3:28 PM · Report this
stinkbug 10
Who is he talking to (as in looking at) in the first video?
Posted by stinkbug on March 19, 2014 at 3:32 PM · Report this
You_Gotta_Be_Kidding_Me 11
“It's maybe too much to hope that the Republican Party could find a woman of color to star in this ad, but demographics are really the only thing these ads are honest about: This is a party for old white men and the young white men who agree with them.”
Except, of course, for:
Colin Powell – First person of color to be Secretary of State
Condi Rice – First woman of color to be Secretary of State
Posted by You_Gotta_Be_Kidding_Me on March 19, 2014 at 3:41 PM · Report this
He looks like a prissy prick.

So, yeah, Republican.
Posted by judybrowni on March 19, 2014 at 3:42 PM · Report this
very bad homo 13
@10 Looks like he's reading a card offscreen. Worse than Lindsay Lohan on Saturday Night Live.
Posted by very bad homo on March 19, 2014 at 3:44 PM · Report this
stinkbug 14
@13: Lena Dunham was also glued to the cards on her SNL stint. Made the show a little funnier to watch.
Posted by stinkbug on March 19, 2014 at 3:53 PM · Report this
Real guy, real-world issues, real Audi. Check out Gawker. It's tracked him down to his $350k home in DC, his media design business, even his resume.
Posted by Patricia_Ssssss on March 19, 2014 at 4:02 PM · Report this
Isn't GOP Hipster exactly the type of post-modern irony they so covet? I foresee a day when urban males become gentlemen steeped in Republican values, attending eating clubs in the inner cities.
Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe http://_ on March 19, 2014 at 4:08 PM · Report this
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn 17
Well, it's not as if Mars Hill Church doesn't exist. About a quarter of young hip urbanites are angry white males. Here's video of what they look like.
Posted by Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn on March 19, 2014 at 4:10 PM · Report this

60% of 18 - 29 year-olds (so-called "Millenials") voted for Obama in 2012, compared to only 36% who voted for Romney. Maybe the reason Democrats don't actively court young voters is because - um, they don't have to. "Outreach" is what you have to do when you don't already attract a desired demographic to your side.
Posted by COMTE on March 19, 2014 at 4:12 PM · Report this
@ 9 as a young person and a democrat not sure why you are saying that. I think the obama campaign did a great job both times reaching out to young people.
Posted by dkjndmsahksdhksal on March 19, 2014 at 4:25 PM · Report this
You've kind of answered your own question: this ad is pretty much designed to go after white millennial males who hate the moralizing of the GOP but are also not especially sympathetic to the economic views of someone like Kshama Sawant for example. The target demo for this ad is an agnostic tech worker who probably considers himself a libertarian but hates the obvious disregard Republicans have for facts and science and so voted Obama. These are the same people contacted the council advocating for Uber. Most of the guys I know who fit this profile are more on the bro side of the equation though, as opposed to this whiny hipster.
Posted by PoliGeek on March 19, 2014 at 4:27 PM · Report this
I love how the sight lines are off and he's completely reading off of cue cards.
Posted by B-LO on March 19, 2014 at 4:43 PM · Report this
Fnarf 22
@20, because Kshama Sawant is running for president. Or even governor. Uh-huh. There are no Sawants on the national or state level in any state, so I'm not sure what they're afraid of. Obama is economically a centrist, indistinguishable in most respects from a 70s-80s Republican.

This douchegoblet just wants cheap gas. That's pretty much the picture of an entitled white guy who wants to keep floating on his privilege forever, just like daddy and granddaddy and the rest.

Uber, though, yeah, you got that right.
Posted by Fnarf on March 19, 2014 at 4:46 PM · Report this
He's a PC wearing a Mac costume.
Posted by HeySparky on March 19, 2014 at 4:52 PM · Report this
um.... I've had several acquaintances that were working artists, designers and craftsmen. These guys are/were at the pinnacle of hipness. Guess what? None of them voted and they were pretty much cynical about politics across the board.
Also, on the scale of collectivist to individualist guess which side they lean towards heavily.
Posted by justsayingg on March 19, 2014 at 4:58 PM · Report this
seattlestew 25
I think I knew this asshole in college. If not him, then his doppelganger, who spewed stupid shit all the time in poli sci 101. "I'm not like all the rest of you liberal young people! I think for myself!" Or you're just an asshole, like your lunatic uncle and your racist grandfather. But sure, keep telling yourself you're a rebel because you're a tool.
Posted by seattlestew on March 19, 2014 at 5:06 PM · Report this
There is no rational reason to vote Republican and anyone who does so is in dire need of immediate electroshock therapy.
Posted by NineOneFour on March 19, 2014 at 5:09 PM · Report this
For a conservative, the guy really does have the face of someone who has a butt plug permanently inserted. Actually never mind, that's pretty much the standard pre-jowels-onset Republican look.
Posted by Jizzlobber on March 19, 2014 at 5:12 PM · Report this
Original Andrew 28
It's almost as good as when Ann Romney demanded that all the black and Hispanic folks stop being so mean and racist and just vote for her husband already.
Posted by Original Andrew on March 19, 2014 at 5:21 PM · Report this
Posted by stinkbug on March 19, 2014 at 5:25 PM · Report this
Posted by john t on March 19, 2014 at 5:39 PM · Report this
@20 -- "The target demo for this ad is an agnostic tech worker who probably considers himself a libertarian but hates the obvious disregard Republicans have for facts and science..."

Exactly. They remind me of older Republicans who stick with the party even as it becomes more and more radical (they voted for Ford instead of Reagan because Ronnie was too far to the right). They are basically ignoring science of any kind. If you don't believe in evolution, then denying global warming is easy. If you don't believe in global warming, then economics is not a science, but just a big set of hunches. So we should cut spending during a recession because, uh, everyone has to cut spending.

The economy sucks because of idiots like this guy and the Republicans that preyed on them. To this day there are fools out there who believe that the high deficit causes unemployment. They've managed to completely confuse a gullible population. Wearing glasses and blaming "regulations" that are essentially unchanged since the 1980s for our economic woes instead of the austerity policies of the Republicans doesn't make you look smart. It just makes you look like a douche. If inflation was really an issue, then these guys would have a point. But it isn't; they are simply wrong, and have been for a long time.
Posted by Ross on March 19, 2014 at 5:45 PM · Report this
Estey 32
Great post writing, Paul. And this guy should seriously be smoking a cigarette while he's saying these things, like that weird-ass Herman Cain TV ad. Especially in the one where he's at the gas pump, because that is full on fucking Republican these days.
Posted by Estey on March 19, 2014 at 5:59 PM · Report this
mikethehammer 33
Oh man, you all gotta check his resume' from @29 there. Dude fancies himself some sort of a PR guru, but was still somehow either unaware of, or unable to prevent the PR clusterfuck that's no doubt blowing up in his face right now. He's got his email & phone numbers on there for all to see & abuse (please don't, btw.)

I don't even think that qualifies as ironic in any real manner, but rather just sad stupidity. I actually feel kinda bad for the stupid, stupid fuck.
Posted by mikethehammer on March 19, 2014 at 6:00 PM · Report this
watchout5 34
"If they had found a young woman of color to appear in the ad, we'd be picking on them for hiring an actress"

Exactly. There's no possible way they can find a non-white woman for an ad. The only possible way republicans can get one is to pay a professional. That's part of the problem.

This ad is really trying to appeal to the low information voter. It's the rather famous lines, "I'm for all the good things in society, the things that make me wake up in the morning, I think it should be like that for everyone. Then you have the bad things, we all hate the bad things because they're bad, and we shouldn't support bad things because they're bad mostly because there are good things that exist. Which is why we only support the good things, and when they no longer are good things, we will make sure to tell you they are bad, because without us deciding for you what your own vision of the world looks like you should accept ours, cause it's good, and not bad."

Anyone who votes for anything based on the idea of "good v bad" is setting themselves up for disappointment. If a politician isn't willing to be specific with you it means they will stand for anything they feel like at any given moment. Literal scum of the earth veiled as "but we're good and they're bad" simplistic bullshit. The people making these ads know exactly the kind of propaganda they want to sell to the next generation. Boogeyman politics. Who the fuck would literally say "I'd rather we have as few options for power as possible"? Not a damn soul. Who the fuck would support corrupt regulations that fail us? Even the people who may have originally supported such regulation wouldn't support it going forward. It's a political ideology chasing the idea that something around the corner is trying to fuck you in the ass and you *totally* don't want it.
Posted by watchout5 on March 19, 2014 at 6:22 PM · Report this
chaseacross 35
I never listen to men who get stuck trying to climb over the beard fence -- either you're man enough to grow it or you're man enough to shave every day.
Posted by chaseacross on March 19, 2014 at 6:44 PM · Report this
Someone at Republican headquarters thought it was smart to hire this guy and actually film him saying these things? He's so clueless he doesn't know where the red light is, or what it's for. I certainly wouldn't take political cues from him.
Posted by Calpete on March 19, 2014 at 6:57 PM · Report this
8Way 37
When someone doesn't look at me while speaking to me, I either assume: 1) they are lying, or 2) they are autistic. Pretty sure it's #1 this time.
Posted by 8Way on March 19, 2014 at 7:44 PM · Report this
It'll work to a degree. I've had conversations with late 20 early 30 somethings who earnestly believe Democrat is a Government program that pays poor people to have babies.

Posted by Machiavelli was framed on March 19, 2014 at 9:05 PM · Report this
juan_martinez 39
Jaw on floo. He's a real person? I can't compute.

But, why am I surprised?
Posted by juan_martinez on March 19, 2014 at 10:25 PM · Report this
Seems ripe for satire.
Posted by judgemental on March 19, 2014 at 10:31 PM · Report this
Posted by paulus22 on March 20, 2014 at 8:38 AM · Report this
He's chubby.
Posted by Confluence on March 20, 2014 at 9:54 AM · Report this
Knat 43
"I'm a Republican because [I don't understand what a straw man argument is]."
Posted by Knat on March 20, 2014 at 10:54 PM · Report this
Greenberg, eh?

Also, he looks like Heinrich Himmler to me. Coincidence?
Posted by grimfees on March 24, 2014 at 12:58 AM · Report this

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